N.B All characters and names belong to Nintendo. (Don’t sue) All characters are their adult versions; just pretend that Link never returned the Master Sword.
*** This story is not related to any of my others, just forget those ones happened.
In the land of Hyrule, in a small forest there lived a boy of destiny, who one day went an a magical quest through time with a fairy called Navi, in order to stop an evil man from obtaining ultimate power through the Triforce.
But we know all that.
What we don’t know, is what he did afterwards. Well, I say we find out.
Only a few months after the evil Ganon was defeated and sealed away in the Sacred Realm, peace and order was once again established in Hyrule. Everybody knew that if any evil was coming the prophetic dreams of the Princess Zelda would warn them. But there was one evil that even she could not foresee: an evil that everybody thought was long dead…
A fierce storm roared over Hyrule Field as a rider entered the land on a black horse. He was hooded and cloaked to guard against the rain. He cast his eye over the land he had once hoped to call home as he entered the kingdom, and a sigh of sorrow came from his mouth.
THE NEXT DAY:
The storm had passed, and Link rode quickly to the castle to see the Princess Zelda. He knew that she, along with almost every other girl in the kingdom, was chasing him and hoping to one day be his bride, but he just played dumb and enjoyed the ride.
He entered the marketplace on foot and saw Malon in the square chatting to a young boy about his age. As soon as the boy saw Link he jumped.
Link: Hey Malon, how are you?
Malon: Fine thanks Link; I haven’t seen you in a while: where have you been?
Link: Oh, here and there, fishing mostly, enjoying not having to trek everywhere and break curses on temples.
Malon: Cool. Oh Link; I’d like you to meet my new friend Kink.
Kink: Nice to meet you.
Link: Same, I’m…
Kink: (Interrupting) You’re Link, I know.
They shook hands, and Link was startled to feel how cold Kink’s hands were.
Link: …Have I met you before?
Kink: I don’t think so, why?
Link: You just seem…familiar.
Kink shrugged the comment off casually.
Malon: Well, I have to get back to the ranch.
Kink: So soon?
Malon: I’m afraid so.
Kink: OK…bye then.
Malon: (Playfully) Hee, bye!
Malon left Kink looking quite bemused.
Link: Lucky you.
Link: She likes you.
Kink looked back at Malon who was just leaving the marketplace and she blew him a kiss.
Link: I reckon so.
Kink eyed the Master Sword on Link’s back.
Kink: Nice sword.
Link took the sword out and showed it to him. Kink eyed it nervously.
Link: I defeated Ganon with this sword.
Kink: Yeah, I figured…
Link: (Braggy) It’s the Master Sword, the blade that evil ones can never touch. You can hang on to it if you want.
Kink: Uh, no, it’s OK.
Link: I ‘aint gonna need it up at the castle, you can take care of it for an hour or too.
Kink: It’s OK, you don’t have to.
Link: Nah, go on, here.
Link tried to give Kink the sword, but as Kink touched the hilt it vibrated and Kink jerked his hand back as if he had been given an electric shock.
Link: What’s wrong?
Kink: Nothing, I just…have to go, I’ll see you around.
Kink bolted from the marketplace. Link shrugged and started toward the castle.
In the back alleys of the town, Kink looked at his hand. His fingers were burned badly where he had touched the Master Sword. He cursed his bad luck and went to buy some gloves to cover the wound.
LATER IN THE WEEK:
It was raining heavily over Lon Lon Ranch, and Malon was staring wistfully out of her window when Kink came running up the path sheltering his face from the weather. She jumped up and opened the door, ushering him inside.
Malon: Kink? What are you doing here?
Kink: Malon, I have to tell you something very important, before he gets here.
Malon: Before who gets here?
Kink: Please just listen!
At that moment there was a knock on the door and Malon went to answer it.
Kink No, don’t! It’ll be them!
She opened the door and Link rushed in, sword drawn, accompanied by ten armed men who seized Kink.
Malon: What’s going on!?
Link: (To Kink) Where is she you traitorous b*****d!
Kink: I had no part in this! I swear it wasn’t me!
Link: You’re lying! How did you get back to Hyrule?
Malon: Link, what are you doing?
Link: Zelda has been kidnapped again, and he’s behind it!
Malon: What makes you think he did it?
Link: Because, he’s not who he says he is!
Kink: He’s lying; I wouldn’t lie to you Malon!
Link: Shut up you, show her who you really are!
Kink sighed and closed his eyes. The lights dimmed, and then came up again. Malon gasped. He had completely changed, and looked like something out of a bad dream.
His eyes were bright red, his tunic and hood were black, and a sword and shield were on his back. He was a complete double of Link, but Dark. A Dark Link.
Malon: Is he…the one you fought in the Water Temple?
Link threw Kink to the floor but kept the Master Sword’s blade at his throat.
Link: Wasn’t much of a fight, but yeah.
Kink: I seem to remember almost winning.
Kink: Bah, I let you go.
Link: Shut up.
Malon: How did he get back here?
Kink: I’ll field that one. You see…connected to Hyrule is a shadow world…a Dark Hyrule if you like: the other side of the coin. In the shadow world there is a double for everybody here. I am Link’s double. When Ganon’s double invaded my Hyrule, everybody I loved was killed. Only I survived.
Link: Ganon has a double?
Kink: Yes, you defeated him in the Forest Temple.
Link: I see.
Malon: Do I have a double?
Kink: You used to. Ganon killed her. And so I went on a quest to get my revenge for everything he had done. I fought long and hard, but in the end he defeated me.
Kink: I didn’t have the Master Sword. There’s only one Master Sword, and you had it. I didn’t know about you of course. It was only when Ganon beat me and offered to let me survive in exchange for fighting against you that I found out about your Hyrule.
Link: He let you live?
Kink: Only because I swore to help him defeat you, and the Master Sword. He said if I was successful he would bring back Malon and Zelda…but I failed.
Link: And you’ve come back to finish the job!
Kink: If that was the case, why would I kidnap Zelda?
Link was stumped at this.
Link: If you didn’t do it, who did?
Kink: I think I know.
Kink: Let me go and I’ll tell you.
Malon: Wait, why did you come back anyway? Why come back to Hyrule?
Kink: …Because…in the Shadow World, things are…different. In my world…Dark Malon and I were…close. Closer than you two are here.
Malon: How close?
Kink: (Slyly) Very close.
Despite the severity of the situation, Kink managed a wink, and Malon managed a blush and a smile.
Link: So who took Zelda?
Kink: Why so concerned?
Link: Just tell us who we should go after.
Kink: You won’t be able to go alone.
Link: Just tell us.
Kink: You need me; you can’t face these people alone.
Link: Fine…lead us there.
Link, Kink and Malon all left the house and proceeded into the night which was now rain – free.
Kink: Where are you going?
Malon: I’m coming with you.
Kink: No you’re not.
Malon: And why is that?
Kink: I don’t want you hurt.
Malon: Excuse me! You don’t get to tell me what to do! You’ve lied to me about who you are; you’ve cheated and deceived your way into my home and my mind! I am going with you!
Malon: Because…because you’re everything I’ve ever wanted.
Malon: You’re so sly and sneaky…I just…I love you.
Kink: Do you always chase the bad guys?
Malon: Never. But I’m making an exception this time.
Kink smiled and winked.
Kink: I warn you, having somebody as evil as me around can make you turn bad.
Malon: I’m already bad…
Malon melted into Kink’s arms and kissed him.
Kink: So I see…
Link: Can we hurry up and save the romance for later, Zelda is in trouble!
Kink: Right, let’s go.
Kink, Link and Malon arrived in a clearing in the Lost Woods. Link looked around.
Link: Where are these fearsome enemies?
Kink: Right here.
Kink gave a signal and several armed monsters leapt out and grabbed Link and Malon.
Link: What are you doing?
Kink: Sorry Link, but I’m still bound by the spell that Ganon’s Double cast on me. If I kill you, Dark Hyrule will be restored.
Kink: It’s for the people I love; I have to bring them back.
Link: You betrayed us you traitor!
Kink: It’s for love.
Malon: What about my love?
Malon: I love you! What about that!
Kink: You’ve got him!
Malon: No, Link isn’t like you, he’s pure and good and nice, I don’t want that! I want you…
Kink: And I want Malon, my Malon, Dark Malon.
Malon: Am I not dark enough for you?
Kink: Heh, not quite.
Malon: How do you know? I can be… (Seductively) dark.
Malon: I love you. And you can stay here, in this Hyrule, with me and Zelda and Link and everybody else. I know you’ve lost the people you really loved, but we’re just the same.
Kink: You’d…you’d be with me?
Malon: Why not? You’re perfect!
Kink: …I tell you what…you’re a bad girl.
Malon: (Seductively) Ooh, I know.
Kink clicked his fingers and the monsters disappeared. Malon ran to him and kissed him.
Kink: Is it OK if I stay here Link? In Hyrule I mean.
Link: If it’s OK with Zelda.
Kink: Oh crap! I forgot about Zelda!
Kink clicked his fingers and Zelda materialised in mid air looking quite startled.
Zelda: What’s going on? How come there are two Links?
Link: I’ll fill you in Zel.
Over the next few weeks, Malon and Kink fell deeper in love, and eventually were married.
Link and Zelda were married too, and they all loved very happily ever after.
Secret funny scene! Please read!
Link: Eh? WTF?
Navi: What the hell just happened?
Link: Last thing I remember we had saved the Princess.
Navi: Same. Why is Hyrule still cursed then?
Link: Wait, this has happened before!
Navi: Yeah…it has.
Link: ARGH! NOT AGAIN! WHY CAN WE NEVER FINISH THE BLOODY GAME!!!
Back to Story Menu