Chapter 10

; One week later "Well, chapses, here's your fabled land of Hyrule!" Klobber said, grinning and marching the bedraggled "spies" off his battered boat. "Fabled indeed." glared Mallard, eyeing the giant form of the Desert Colossus. "Wow, see that thing?" said Nev, pointing at the Colossus. "Gee, that's big..." muttered Bren. "Of course it's big, you idiot. Let's go, everybody." Mallard growled. Saria "hrmph"-ed. "Don't be so grumpy." she grumped. "Yeah, grumpiness grumps the grumpy grumps!" said Paul, and everyone laughed. "Well," said a suddenly sober Klobber, "I guess this is good-by', huh chaps?" he said. Everyone gulped, uneasy at the prospect of parting with their friends from Sosaria. "Gee, Klobber, Nev and everyone....." Saria said, her eyes tearing up. "Aw, buck awp!" blared Shawn. "We're gonna be see-ain each udder a-gain, ya know!" he said in an outlandish accent. Klobber and his shipmates roared with laughter. "Yeah, we'll come back, ya know." Jon added. "After all, we've al-a-ways wanted to see High-rule!" Bren finished. Mallard and his friends chuckled. "Well, I'm sure we'll be seeing each other again then!" he said, extending his hand. Klobber shook it firmly. "Well, we'd best be gettin' a-ways home. Sir Richard wants us home 'fast as possible so we can get more money and more stuff!" he said, winking. "Sir-" Mallard began, but he was cut off by Zelda. "Well, we'll be seeing you later, Klobber! Good-bye!" she said, waving and turning to walk away. "Good-bye!" everyone else yelled. "Good-bye!" bellowed the merchants from Sosaria. The last one to turn was Mallard. He turned away and began to walk, then hesitantly stopped. He turned around. "Say, would you fellows like to join our army and-" "Mallard! No!" shouted Zelda, who was already fifty feet away. Mallard looked shocked. Klobber laughed. "No thanks, Mallard. We-" "Good!" came the seventy-five-foot away shout. Nev's jaw dropped, as did the others'. "How does she bloody do tha'?" he said. "I don't know..." Mallard said. "You will sometime!...." came the reply from one hundred feet away. Mallard and the Sosarians turned to each other. "How does she do that?" they said. "Hmmm...hummm.....hummm........" hummed Malon, who was humming away over a sizzling bacon-and-eggs breakfast at Lon Lon's firepit in the center of the horses' fenced-in "exercise area", as Talon liked to call it. "Boy, I haven't cooked for a while....oh!" she gasped. A chicken was heading right for the firepit. "Chicken! Get away, chicken!" Malon frantically called. She tried to head it off, but it managed to get by her. Then it saw the flames. "Ba-waaaaaaaaak!" it screamed, trying to flutter away. But a strong wind blew up and it was carried right onto the grill above the firepit. "BA-WAK-WAK-WAK-WAK!" it screamed, lifting off with fire streaming from it's burning backside, knocking over the pan with the bacon and eggs and sending them smoking and sizzling onto the dry grass, which crackled and smoked. "Oh no! Dad! Link! Aaron! Help!" she screamed, running for the bucket of water. Link, Talon, and Aaron rushed out of the house. "What in tarnation? What is going on? Malon! Malon! What's-" Link cut Talon off. "Burning chicken!" he bellowed, running after it. "The chicken might actually burn something!" Aaron sarcastically called. Malon grabbed his arm. "Get the water now!" she yelled. Meanwhile, Link was running after the chicken. "That thing could seriously do something, and it's gonna die if I don't save it! Then again, it would make a good addition to lunch..." he said, taking out his Ice Arrows and bow. "Look out, chicken!" he yelled, shooting. He expertly hit what remained of the chicken's rear and froze it. The chicken plummeted to the ground and landed on it's now-frozen rump. "Bwakaak?" it said angrily to Link. "Don't blame me!" said Link, picking it up and examining it. Suddenly Aaron ran towards him with a bucket of water. "Where's the fire, everybody?" he yelled, throwing the water onto Link and the chicken. A dripping Link looked at him. "I had everything under control, you know." he said. "You did?" said a surprised Aaron. Malon ran up to them with a large bucket of water. "Is there anything burning?" she asked. "My temper." remarked Link. "Funny, funny, you guys. Dad's taking care of the grass over there." Malon replied. They all looked towards Talon, who was frantically jumping all over the smoking grass, pouring water on it and yelling hysterically. Malon looked back. "Well, yeah, he's taking care of the grass." she said. Link grinned mischievously. "Ruining it would be the term." he said. Aaron rubbed his chin. Just then the firepit began to burn again. Malon narrowed her eyes. "I thought that the fire was out!" she said, beginning to walk towards it. Suddenly it sprung high into the air and began to glow and weave. "Uh-oh, this could be trouble..." said Link. "It always is, Link," said Aaron. Morguls began pouring out of the flames. "This is trouble!" screamed Malon, backing up as Aaron and Link ran forward. Link tore into them, but suddenly was hit on the head by a club and blacked out..... "Is something burning?" asked Paul, seeing a towering column of smoke leaping from the middle of the horizon, two days after the spy party had landed on the coast of Hyrule. "It looks like the ranch is!" said Mallard, breaking into a run. "We're not too far away to be of help!" said Impa. "Oh! I can't run fast enough!" said Saria, already beginning to lag behind. Impa stopped and hauled her over her shoulder, then began to run. Zelda nearly tripped as she watched in amazement. "Impa, how-" "Run, Zelda!" shouted Impa, groaning and running forward. Saria pressed her hand to Impa's head and green light began to flow from her hand. "Thanks Saria!" said Impa, getting an extra boost of speed and passing even the fleet-footed Paul. "What a country you have, Mallard!" Paul said, heaving a breath and rounding the entrance to Lon Lon Ranch, trailing Impa. "Do I ever know it!" Mallard said, right behind him.
"Oh, this is nice," said a perturbed Aaron. He was tied to a giant roasting stick which was slowly revolving and sinking towards a roaring fire along with Link, Talon and Malon. "I personally prefer to be marinated, not broiled, but we don't have much of a choice, do we?" said Link. "Shut up and try to get out!" said Malon angrily, trying to wriggle free of her bonds. She merely chafed her skin. Defeated, she sighed in resignation. "It's hopeless....." she said, steeling herself for the inevitable roasting she would have to endure for the few seconds she would be alive while being consumed by the flames. Suddenly she heard a loud whooping and turned to look. Miraculously, Mallard, Impa, Zelda, Saria and someone else were rushing in to save them! The Morguls turned their bows and swords on the newcomers. Impa began to charge up a shadow beam and fired it. The Morguls knew the power this beam contained and jumped out of the way. The beam hit the fire and created an impenetrable shield over it. Another, non-destructive beam hit the tied-up heroes and destroyed their ropes, sending them tumbling to the ground. "Where's my sword?" said Aaron irascibly. "Over there, by the Moblins!" Link replied, just as hotly. "Well, then! Super-Aaron away!" Aaron yelled, throwing his fist into the air and flipping head over heels towards the small contingent of Moblins guarding the heroes' equipment. "Outta th' way!" bellowed the Moblins, not used to seeing a human using himself as a weapon. Aaron bowled them over and picked up his sword. "Say, don't I know you?" he said to one of them. "'Ould 'ay 'o! 'M 'Oman!" said the Moblin, who was actually Soman. "Gee, I should've known. But then again, your grammar skills prevented me from doing so." Aaron said arrogantly. Soman glared and wielded his spear angrily. "''ay, 'm 'onna use better grammar skills now!" he said, charging. Aaron was surprised and momentarily lost his concentration, allowing Soman to knock him down. "Ha, I've got the best of you, don't I Aaron?" he snickered. Aaron slashed his sword towards Soman's spear and cut it in two. "Aw, poor thing!" he said, preparing to slash the Moblin. Soman deflected with one of his spear halves and then thrust forward. Aaron conked him on the head, sending him to the ground. Suddenly three Moblins crushed him with blows from the butts of their spears. He crumpled to the ground, wheezing. Suddenly they were confronted by the ugly snouts of Talon and Malon's bows. "No one hurts my husband and gets away with it." Malon growled under her breath. "Hands up." Talon ordered. "Get moving!" The Moblins put their hands in the air and began to march over to the cow shed. Suddenly Morguls confronted the vengeful ranchowners. "Going somewhere, Malon?" the leader said. He, unlike his red-scaled friends, was a dreadful black with spikes bristling and a terrifyingly-horrific emblem on his chest, along with a great red shield and gigantic sword. Malon looked a little fearful, even for her. But Talon was brave. "Yes, as a matter of fact, we were." he said. The Morgul-leader laughed. "Oh, I beg to differ..." he said, his words trailing into high-pitched cackling laughter. "Take them away for liquidation....they will serve quite well...." Link brandished the Master Sword angrily as he faced the leader of the small Stalfos squad there, coincidentally led by Keln. "Vell, vell, vell." Keln said, making good use of his accent. "'Vell, vell, vell.'" Link imitated. He glared. "Stupid Stalfos!" he said, struggling to remain calm. "A little, oh, irritated, are ve, Link, vla chor?" Keln mocked. Link heaved an angered breath. "I'm surprised you knew enough to call me that, fluek Klnn." he said. Keln chuckled. "Don't you knov the rhyme 'Sticks and stones can break my bones, but vords can never-'" "Enough!" yelled Link in total rage. He flew onto all of them and began to slash left and right. Keln stepped back. "Oh, Link, you don't look so good. You poor dear. Let me giwe you some medicine." he said, producing a flask of liquid and throwing it at Link. It landed on Link's chest and exploded. Dark liquid flew all over him and he stumbled back, groaning, and dropped the Master Sword. Keln darted in and picked it up. Link wiped the liquid from his eyes and then realized what Keln had done. He began to seeth. Keln chuckled. "Ganon's got your precious little svord....Ganon's got your precious little svord...." he said, grinning with uncontrollable evil welling up inside. Link dived for it, but Keln swiped him across the chest, causing a large cut. Link fell onto the ground, screaming in anger. "Morguls! The Moblins and I are leawing vith my companions! Do vatever damage you see fit! Ve are taking the svord back to Ganon for-" The last of Keln's words were drowned in a bellow from Paul as he tackled Keln. They rolled over and over, Paul grappling for the sword, Keln trying to hack Paul's head off. "Why-do-you-want-it?" said Paul, wincing as Keln twisted his wrist in an attempt to get the sword. "This svord holds the key to all evil! Vith it ve hawe the Triforce, and then your souls!" Keln said. Suddenly he crowed and twisted free of Paul. "The Hero's Blood is on the svord! Avay, comrades, avay, for time grovs short! Return, comrades, return, for Ganon avaits our certain triumphant wictory! Avay, avay, avay!" he yelled. Suddenly every one of Ganon's minions cheered and ran over the bedraggled heroes in an effort to get away and follow Keln. The battle ended. Everyone stood there, looking extremely shocked and surprised and angry. The most shocked and angry of all was Link. He stumbled over to the group with his tunic blood-red. "They got the sword! They got the sword!" he repeated, over and over. He sighed and looked very tired and worried. Zelda was the first one to walk over. "You mean that they got the Master......Link..." she said, suddenly noticing that she was back from Velattiane and with her husband. Link realized she was back at the same time. "Zelda......" he said. They hugged tightly. Link began to smother her with kisses. "Zelda, I've missed you so much!" he said, grinning and giving her more. Zelda did the same. "Just wait until you hear what we did in Velattiane!" she said. Mallard looked at Aaron. "Aaron, you should have been there!" he said, walking over and bear-hugging Aaron. "Welcome home, Mallard!" Aaron said. "Thanks a lot, Aaron! I've just been waiting to see how your little tyke was doing!" Mallard grinned. Malon's hands suddenly flew to her mouth. "Is Michael okay?!" she screamed. "Gee, you did forget to check, didn't you, Malon?" Aaron said, grinning and looking at Mallard. Malon ran to the farmhouse to check on the rather-unmentioned-in-the-story-as-of-yet kid. "Well, I guess I'd better go with her. Hang on..." said Aaron. "Now that's what you call dedication!" Talon said, with pride vibrating in his voice. "It's what you call forgetfulness," Paul said, getting a glare from Talon. "Say there, stranger, you did pretty good against that Stalfos. I'd like to thank you for that!" Link said, extending a hand towards Paul. Paul suddenly realized who he was talking to. "I-you-er-" Link chuckled. "I'm not a celebrity, I just eat bad guys for breakfast." he said. Paul swallowed and shook Link's bloodied hand unsteadily. "It's-it's a real honor to meet you!" he said. Link smiled modestly. "Am I really that big of a celebrity?" he said. "Aw, gee, back on Sarnilia-" Paul said. Link cut him short, with a glance at Zelda and the others. "Paul, you say you've been to Sarnilia?" he said. "I live on Sarnilia, most of the year." Paul said, stiffening nervously. "Sarnilia? Well, you're going to have to come to the castle and tell us all about the exploits you've been having on this mission! Well, er, after we recapture it...." Link said, whispering the last sentence. Paul's jaw dropped. "I-I-I-I.....ooooooh......" he said, his eyes rolling back. He fainted. "Gee, kind've a weighty issue, huh?" chuckled Saria. Everyone looked at Paul. Then Link spoke. "Gee, Zelda, speaking of weight....you look like you gained some on the mission!" he said, rubbing his chin. Zelda giggled nervously. "I've been keeping this a secret from everyone....but......Link, I'm pregnant." she said. Everyone gasped as Link hit the ground. He, like Paul, had fainted dead away. Everyone looked at Zelda, once again. "Pregnant, how can you be pregnant?!" screamed Aaron. "I'm a woman, and a good one at that. So I can have children, unlike you, Aaron." said Zelda haughtily. "Malon can!" boomed her redheaded guardsman. "Yeah!" added Talon. "Yes, but you can't can you?" Zelda replied. "That's my point." Aaron glared at her. "Obviously so, Your Highness!" he replied, sticking his finger in the air. After Link had sufficently recovered, he said that the castle had been captured, at which news everyone sobbed for a few minutes, then pulled themselves together. "So what do we do?" Mallard said, the first to recover (though he had never cried, only wheezed and said how terrible it was while trying to console the ladies). "We recapture it. Simple as that." said Aaron simply. "It's not quite as simple as that. Ganon probably has his best soldiers over there. What do we have?" said Impa. "We have the Sages, we have Link, we have all of us here.....well....any other Hylian Guards?" Mallard stated. "Not sure. Do we have any other Guards?" Link said. "I seriously doubt it. We have the Gorons and Zora though, we could get them!" Darunia said. "I'm sure that the Zora would be glad to help." Ruto added, recently returned from visiting the Zora with Rauru. "Ruto," grinned Link, "Can you head back to the Zora and ask them to come with us? We'll need help." he said. "Anything for you, cutie!" Ruto giggled. Zelda scowled furiously at her and Link chuckled, then turned to Darunia. "I need you to-" "You don't need to tell me, I'm on my way!" Darunia said, saluting and disappearing. "What initiative!" said Aaron. "I'll say. Well, is there anything else we can do?" Mallard said. "There'll be a few people down at the lake and Kakariko. Aaron, you go round them up for me, okay?" Link said. "Hmmmm...." muttered Aaron. "Oh..." Link saw that Aaron wanted a little time with Malon before he went off on his next crusade. "Mallard, would it be okay if you went?" he asked. "Why not?" grinned Mallard, who promptly decided to head off. "What initiative!" repeated Aaron. Suddenly a call came from the farmhouse door. "Aaron, can you get the milk for Michael and warm it up?" Malon cried, holding Michael in her arms and gently shaking him up and down. "Sure, honey!" Aaron replied. "Excuse me, everybody. I must perform fatherly duties!" he said with an air of importance. He headed into the farm. Soon he reemerged with a pail of milk. "Link, do you have anything that could warm this milk up?" he asked. Link mulled the question over. "The only thing I have at the moment is Fire Arrows. Those usually leave a bit of a taste behind and they make it super-hot." he said. "Good enough!" grinned Aaron. "Are you sure? I think just magically warming it up would be a lot better-" began Rauru, but he was brushed aside. "Okay, let her go!" Aaron called, and Link fired his hookshot to the top of the farmhouse roof. "Hey, watch what you do with that thing Link! I worked and slaved away for five months on that roof!" Talon called (it was a bit hard to believe he'd slaved away at anything for that long). "I'm gonna be careful..." Link muttered, taking his bow and a Fire Arrow out. "Now.....aim....mark.....now!" he exclaimed, firing. The arrow slammed into the inside face of the bucket, nearly melting it, but causing the milk to become very hot. Of course, Aaron and the rest were a good distance away. "Thank you very much, Link. I'll take this in to Malon..." he said, putting on some gloves and picking up the bucket. "Coming, Malon...." he said into the farmhouse, pushing open the door and disappearing inside. "I think we're all ready. So let's get ourselves some sleep and prepare to move out in the morning!"

The next morning, the recruits that Mallard has picked up were standing there, a little uncertain. Among first-timers, there were some Hylian Guards and Core Soldiers that had decided to set up a resistance network there by the lake. "Resistance network!" Mallard had chuckled to Link, who had gotten a laugh out of that one. Now he was standing in front of them with Aaron and Mallard. "Well, troops, I know you can do good. Make Hyrule proud! Most of you have fought off his troops before, you can certainly kill them!" He grinned. The troops gulped. "You lily-livered-" Aaron began to say, but Mallard put a hand over his mouth and dragged him a safe distance away. "Er, don't mind them. However, they will be giving you your orders. I need to go do something..." he said, walking over to the farmhouse door and opening it. There was no one on the bottom floor. "They'll be on the second floor." he muttered to himself, climbing up the stairs and opening the bedroom door. He was immediately confronted by a giant baby! "Wha-" he began to say, but then realized it was only Michael being held by Zelda. "Link!" Zelda said in surprise as she stumbled back. "Zelda!" Link said in equal surprise. "I'm teaching her how to raise a baby!" Malon said. "I'm doing a fine job of it too..." Zelda groaned. "Ooga..." gurgled Michael. Malon sized up the situation. "Zelda, why don't you take a break, I'll feed him..." she said. Zelda gladly obliged. "We're making the raid on the castle in two hours, shouldn't you be....well....getting ready?" Link asked. "I'm not going, am I fairy boy?" teased Malon. "And I'm not in any shape to go." Zelda added. Link rolled his eyes. "You know how much it irritates me when you say that?" he said pointedly to Malon. "I sure do!" Malon said. Link ran a hand through his long hair. "Well, at least Zelda is getting training. I'm going to go see if Ruto's here yet..." he said. "You did hear what I said, didn't you?" Zelda called. "Yes, snookums." Link grinned to himself and ducked away from the blanket that Zelda threw at him.

Back to Story Menu