The War On Terror In Hyrule

By Randi

Lon Lon Ranch was always a peaceful place to live. My name is Malon and I've lived here all my life. Anyway, it was peaceful until my father Talon married a woman named Thalia. She always caused problems for me. She never let me hang out with Link, Saria, Zelda or Revlon unless she was with me. Thalia had strawberry blonde curls that bounced with every step she took. She always wore green dresses that were so fancy they were fit for a queen. Her face was pinched up and always had red lipstick on. I hated her since we met.

I ate my dinner in silence. Thalia was telling Talon about the Red Rocks collection Revlon has. Revlon was a very unique person. She said she could see the future. She also said that in the future her great great great great granddaughter would start a makeup company and name it After her. I didn't believe this but some people did. Link and Revlon were going to Zelda's 16th b-day party together. Saria was going. I'm the only one who's not going. But I had a plan.

"What are doing tonight, kitten?" Thalia asked.

"Stay in my room all night while you and dad go to the dump and root through trash to find Revlon's Red Rocks collection that she threw away." I said smugly.

"She threw that away!" Thalia said in shock. "Oh yes she told me yesterday." I said trying not to laugh.

"Come on Talon, honey, lets go to the dump. We MUST find it." Thalia said quickly.

"Alright dear." Dad said.

"Bye Hon!" Thalia said. They were gone.

I ran to Thalia and dad's room. Thalia had an assortment of clothes she never wore. I picked a red sparkly dress to match my dark red hair. I put it on, put her hair in a pony, put on her red sandals and hurried to the castle. Link, Revlon and Saria were already there.

"What took you so long?" Saria asked. Saria found out she wasn't a Kokiri seven years ago. Her hair was a pretty green color. It reached her waist but it was shiny and wavy.

"I had to get Thalia to leave." I said.

"Ah. Never a challenge. What did you say his time?" Saria asked.

"I told her Revlon threw away her red rocks collection." I told her with a grin on my face.

"That stuff is like gold to Thalia." Saria said grinning back.

"I know. It's so sad how she copes with life." I said sarcastically. We giggled.

"Where were you Malon? Link, Saria and I have been looking everywhere for you!" Revlon said.

"Oh I was getting rid of Thalia. Saria will tell you the story." Revlon's hair was strawberry blonde like Thalia's just a little darker. They didn't look the same at ALL, but they had a resemblance that was alike.

"Okay but Link's looking for you. Better talk to him before you do anything. You know how he gets." Revlon told me.

"Right. I'll do that first. I'll catch yah later then." I told Saria and Revlon. Then I left.

I maneuvered my way through the crowd of people. On the stage was my recent favorite band Evanescence. Their music could really take you into a different world. It's unreal. This particular song was Going Under and I have this weird liking to it. I mean I really love the other songs but this one was….. different. I could listen to it for days. I mean days. Link drew my attention away from my favorite band. Nothing could have dragged me away so I was mad.

"Hey! I was listening to that!" I said.

"Sorry. What took so long?" He asked.

"Ask Revlon or Saria. They know. I'm gonna say hi to Zelda. See if she's found the guy she's gonna marry yet." I told him.

"Marry?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah smart one, marry. Remember? At sixteen you're supposed to find someone to marry and settle down and have kids." I told him knowingly.

"Oh yeah, I forgot! Ha, ha sorry." Link laughed. He didn't look puzzled anymore.

"Yeah well gotta go. See ya." I waved and left. Zelda was sitting on a chair looking disgusted.

"Hey. What's up?" I asked.

"Just all the guys here are all plain nasty. Here's an example. See that guy picking his nose? Or that guy scratching his bum? Their all pigs! Nasty, gross, sick, fatty, disgusting pigs!" She said tiredly.

"It's okay. Just tell your dad all the men here are slobs. He'll understand." I said soothingly.

"I already told him. He said it was fine. He also said he wasn't ready for me to marry. I'm not ready myself." Zelda said feeling better.

"You know who would be the best guy?" Zelda asked me. I had absolutely no clue who.

"Who?" I asked.

"Link." Zelda said. She seemed to have hearts in her eyes. "LINK????" I said, stunned.

"But you know Revlon and him are….. together." I said.

"I know. But you better not tell Revlon or else I'll kill you. You know the royal family gets one secret murder. If you don't use 'em ppphhhttt they'll be gone in a flash. You wouldn't want me to use that secret murder on you now would you?" She asked sarcastically.

"I swear on my dad's life I won't tell a soul." I said with confidence in my voice. I think she heard it.

"I can ALWAYS trust you Malon because you're so trustworthy!" Zelda hugged me. Yep, I'm pretty trustworthy I guess.

The party was over. It sure was a blast. I actually got to meet Evanescence. It killed. If my kids a boy, I'll name him Ben. If it's a girl I'm soooo naming it Amy. I'll just divorce the dad if he doesn't agree with me or the names.

I got back home not so safe and sound. Thalia started screaming at me for: 1. I wore her dress. 2. I got home late. 3. I was forbidden to go the party. 4. Revlon didn't throw away her red rocks collection.

She has major issues. I mean, I'm sooo letting Amy go to whatever party she freaking wants too. Well here's where the trouble started. I screamed, "YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER!!!!!!!!" And then I stormed up to my room. Let's just say she didn't take it well…. at all. I heard her stomping around her and dad's room, the kitchen and the living room. She didn't bother to come into my room. Then I heard the door slam. I couldn't hear her or see her but I could feel her stomping around the ranch. I swear I heard my dad laughing. I threw her dress on the floor and put on my nightgown. Then I drifted off to sleep.

The next morning I threw on my white dress and my purple apron. I went downstairs and no one was there. There was this note on the table. It said this in Thalia's curly handwriting:

Hi Honey! I'm not mad anymore but stay in the house.

Your father and I are at an important meeting at the castle.


It's dangerous and I am very serious.



Mom. Those words haunted me. I can't call that evil woman mom. I ran upstairs to my room and locked the door. What could be so dangerous about going outside? Well I'm going against her will and going outside I thought. Then I heard rocks against my window. I looked out. Link and Revlon were outside.

"Hey Malon! Hurry and come down! We've got to talk!" Link yelled. "Okay! I'll be right down!" I yelled back.

I got outside. "What's up?" I asked.

"C'mon let's go get Saria." Link said.

"Alrigghhhtttt…. What about Zelda?" I asked.

"She'll hear about it from her father." Link said.

"Don't worry he won't tell me either." Revlon said. I sensed it was something urgent by the tone of Link's voice. Obviously, I was right because we sprinted the entire way to Saria's house. Two years ago, Saria moved to Lake Hylia. My father, Link and Saria helped her build her house. [ we didn't know Revlon then. ] It wasn't a big house, but it wasn't a small one either. She said she wanted to move to Lake Hylia because she could gather all her thoughts there.

We knocked on her door and she came out all happy. "Hi guys. What's up?" She asked nicely.

"Come on Saria. I have to tell you all something." Link said hurriedly.

"Alrighty then, let's go." Saria said as she locked her door.

Then we went to our secret spot in the Windmill in Kakariko Village. "So what is up, Link?" Revlon asked.

"Well, I overheard the King talking to a Royal Guard and he said Ganondorf is back." He said with no expression in his voice so it was hard to tell what he thought.

Me, I was dumbstruck. So were Revlon and Saria. It was really weird because Revlon always had a big smile on her face and now her mouth was almost down to her waist [it seemed]. "You have got to be kidding me." Saria said.

"Saria this is nothing like when we went to Clocktown to get Majora's mask." He said.

I blushed. I remembered my bad temper from seven years ago. I still had the Skull Kids flute that Saria stole and gave to me. I smiled. Revlon looked confused. "Clocktown?" She asked timidly.

"Oh, Link, Malon, and I went to Clocktown to get the cursed Majora's Mask. It was pretty hard for us then because we were only kids. Each of us, was, I mean IS an oracle. Link is the Sun Oracle, Malon's the Love Oracle and I'm the Sincerity Oracle. We can't do our powers now because you know how it is nowadays with you can be hung for witchcraft and wizardry. Hey Malon, remember when that Harry Potter was hung for having a wand?' Saria lectured.

Oh, I remembered. I remember I puked for four days straight after the hanging. It was plain disgusting. I remember Saria turned as green as her hair. "I remember Saria." I said with a look of disgust on my face.

Link laughed. "That was hilarious! I could have died of laughter." Link said.

Revlon didn't say anything. She just looked like she was gonna barf. Then, all of a sudden, I felt something on my cheek. It was snow. We hadn't got snow in….. a long time. Then, I thought, "How could we get snow in a windmill?"

I looked up and there was a hole in the windmill. I looked out and little children were running and jumping in the snow. I think we just noticed the snow because there was about a foot of snow on the ground. "c'mon! Let's go play!" Revlon said. We all heaved ourselves onto the snowy ground. Link started chucking snowballs at Revlon, Saria and I. twenty minutes of this, I remembered Thalia and dad. "Oh my gosh! I gotta go! Bye guys!" I yelled as I raced to the ranch.

Luckily, I made it in the knick of time. I put on different, warmer clothes and put my other clothes in the back of my closet because they were all wet from the snow. I sighed with relief and sat down to read a book. Then Thalia and dad came. "YOOOHOOO!!!!" Thalia yelled as she entered the house.

I rolled my eyes. "Hi Thalia." I said glumly.

"Oh kitten, call me mom, call me mom." She said happily.

"DAD!!!" I yelled.

"What Malon?" He asked.

"Dad, we have to talk." I said.

"Alright. What do you want to talk about?" He asked.

"Well you can't tell Thalia. Okay? Okay, here it goes…. I hate Thalia." I finally said it. I had told my dad I hate Thalia, and I felt really good about it too. Actually, not good. I felt GREAT! "Well I guess I understand that. But I love Thalia so nothing can stop us from loving each other." He said kindly.

I couldn't believe it. He didn't bite my head off or anything.

"I have to talk to you too. Well the meeting Thalia and I went to, was very important. We have to evacuate Hyrule." Dad said sadly.

I was shocked. I couldn't ditch Hyrule. At least, not without Revlon, Saria, Zelda or Link. I was speechless. I was just sitting there with my mouth halfway open. "Well… what about… my friends?" I asked cautiously.

"Ah! That's the good part! Revlon and Saria are coming with us." He said happily.

I wasn't happy. "What about Link?" I asked.

Dad turned a little paler. "Link has to help fight in the war." Dad said with sadness in his voice.

I knew Revlon would be heart broken. I was heart broken. "Does Link know this? What about Zelda? Will she come with us? Does Revlon know about Link?" I had so many questions I was confusing myself.

"Okay I'll start with the first question. Link is probably being told as we speak. Zelda was at the meeting so she knows. Zelda may come with us if she likes. And Revlon… will probably be told by Link." He said.

I sighed. My mind was a big black blur. My dad stood up and went to the kitchen. I was left in my room with my overflowing feelings.

I was going to go to Saria's place. I tossed on my fuzzy red coat and my black snow boots. Then I put on my red gloves and red earmuffs. I couldn't go out downstairs because Thalia would say I couldn't go outside without her. The only other way was out the window. I know it sounds suicide because my window is so high, but I had to do it. I had to see Saria. I opened my window all the way. It was just big enough for me to fit in it. I closed my eyes and did a silent prayer to Nayru. Then I jumped. Luckily for me the snow was there because otherwise, I'd be dead.

I ran to Lake Hylia. I saw smoke coming from her chimney. I smiled. That normally meant she was cooking. She was the best cook in Hyrule. She made really yummy stuff. I knocked. Saria answered the door.

"Hey Malon! Come in!" Saria said happily.

She ushered me to the couch by the fireplace. I sat down and took off my coat, gloves, boots and hat. She gave me mint hot chocolate with a candy cane in it. It was so good. "So what's new?" She asked. "When I got home today, my dad wanted to talk to me. He said we have to evacuate Hyrule. The good part is that you Revlon and Zelda get to come with us. But that's not half of it. Link has to help fight in the war." I concluded.

Saria gasped. "Revlon must heart broken." She said shocked.

"I'm not sure if she knows yet, but we should go to her place and find out." I said.

"Okay, just let me get my jacket on." Saria said as she put on her long green coat and gloves and hat.

I put on jacket and gloves and earmuffs. Then we put on our boots and left. We walked toward Kakariko Village. We walked in silence.

When we got there we looked at each other and timidly knocked on the door. Revlon's mom, Rebecca answered the door. "Hello Ms. Pinkk. May we see Revlon?" I asked.

"Oh come in girls. Link's here too." Ms. Pinkk said happily.

We looked at each other. We knew why he was here. The time we waited seemed like an eternity. It was only about twenty minutes though. Link then came out but Revlon didn't. "Hi Saria and Malon. I have to tell you guys something." Link said.

"We already know. My father told me and I told Saria. Did Revlon take it well?" I said.

"No she didn't. But listen, this is very important. You guys have to pack your bags tonight. Tomorrow morning meet here in Kakatiko village. You're leaving for a safe place. Tell Thalia and Talon, okay?" He said quickly and then he left.

I don't want to be mean but he was kind of rude. He just told us that and ditched. What kind of person does that? Then Revlon came out. She wasn't crying but she was tearstained. I felt really, really, really, really bad. What if he got freaking killed? I would have ditched the war and left to whatever this "safe place" is. Revlon smiled her normal smile at us. "Are you okay Revlon?" Saria asked.

"Yeah, I guess I'm okay. I just don't like the thought of war. That's the reason we left Sunset Island. Because of war against our twin island, Sunrise Island. I don't want to leave again." Revlon said sadly.

"Oh honey, were not leaving. Were going to a safe place like your boyfriend said." Ms. Pinkk said soothingly.

Revlon smiled happily. "That's good." She said.

Then we left. I waved bye to Saria and I headed for the ranch. Then I saw someone behind a tree. It noticed that I had noticed it and it charged at me. Naturally I screamed and ran, not looking back. This someone had a knife and I was scared half to death. It caught up with me and forced me to the ground. I closed my eyes. Then I felt the weight of this thing lift off of me. I opened an eye and looked to my right. The snow around the thing was all bloody and gross. I could feel myself turn pale. I opened my other eye and looked to my left. I saw Link standing over me, sword in his hand. I screamed. "It's okay Malon. It's just me." Link said.

Next thing I knew I fainted. I woke up in my bedroom. It was still nighttime. Link must've taken me home. At least he didn't leave me in the snow next to a gory body. Instead I was lying in my bed with my dad sitting in a chair snoring on my left. I looked to my right. My luggage was on a chair for the morning. I looked in the luggage. All my clothes, pajama's, hair stuff and everything were in there. I'm guessing Thalia did all that. I put on a yellow dress and no apron. I quickly brushed my hair and then went downstairs. I made some green eggs and ham and ate a yummy meal. Nothing compared to Saria's food but good enough for me.

Then Thaliana woke up. Thalia was wearing a green spaghetti strap dress with a full skirt and a green hat. "Oh kitten I've been ever so worried about you. How are you doing? Link told me everything. How you fell out the window and were attacked by a foul creature. He said he saw it all." Thalia said. Link had saved my butt once again. I was so happy. "Yes it was very frightening." I said with a microscopic grin on my face.

"Well I'm going to wake up Talon. Then we'll head to Kakariko village." Thalia said and then bounded up the stairs.

I got my stuff together and left. Saria and Zelda caught up with us. We saw other Hylian's heading toward Kakariko Village. Obviously, we weren't the only ones going. We made it to the village Revlon and her mom and her little sister Rachelle were waiting for us with there luggage. Royal Guard was hauling people onto a thing where you can get hayrides. I felt sorry for one of them because he had to haul a way overweight woman onto the thing. With ease he brought Saria, Zelda, Revlon, Rachelle, Ms. Pinkk, Thalia, Talon and I onto the thing. We were the last ones on the thing so we got moving fast. Then we saw Link all clad in armor and stuff for the war. He waved at us but especially at Revlon. She waved back until we could no longer see him.

We were going up Death Mountain at a frightening speed. We went to the way top. And a man told us we were going to a sheikah village. I could have died. A Sheikah village?! That is so cool. We made it. The place had green plants and big places with a million rooms. It was cool.

All of us shared a big place and each of us got our own room unless we wanted to share a room. In the first room were Ms. Pinkk and Rachelle, then Thalia and dad, Revlon, Saria, me, and then Zelda.

I decorated my room the way I wanted and so did everyone else. A Sheikah told us there would be a meeting in the Church. We went. "Welcome to our humble village. From the kindness in our hearts, we have decided to let our village be used as a refuge for poor, defenseless people." Said a Sheikah man.

I didn't agree with this. We were not defenseless people. Apparently, Zelda, Saria and Revlon didn't agree with him either. I could tell with the look on their faces. He talked on. "You will be safe from harm till the war is over." He said.

And that was the end of it. "Meet in my room in five minutes. We need to talk." Zelda said angrily.

Five minutes later we were all in her room. "I'm assuming you know what I want to talk about." Zelda said.

All of us nodded. "That is plain stupid. We are definitely not defenseless people. They just think women can't do anything. I think we should find a way to help in this war and prove were not defenseless people." Saria said.

We all tried to think of something we could do silently. Then, it hit me. We could ask the Gerudo's! "Hey guys! We could ask the Gerudo's to help us! There women and there smart and know how to handle a sword. We could ask them!" I said.

"Yeah! That would be terrific!" Revlon said.

All of us agreed. "Meet back here in twenty minutes. Then we can sneak out of here." Zelda said.

We left. The first thing I was gonna do was take a shower. Who knows when we were again. I put on a simple blue dress with yellow flowers on it. Then I put my hair in a ponytail. It seemed all of us took a shower and changed. We were all smart. Good to know. We met in Zelda's room. "Okay, I think we should sneak out of here real quiet like. They'll never know we left." Saria said confidently.

We agreed. We snook out without a trace. It was hard going down Death Mountain. There were little lava rocks flying everywhere.

One almost touched me. We made it down alive. I was surprised Kakatiko Village wasn't on fire. In the all story's I heard, the enemy's always burnt down villages. The village was deserted because everyone was in that stupid Sheikah Village. We went out of the village.

Hyrule Field had a lot of Ganondorf's henchpeople, men, or monster things. There was a lot of whatever attacked me. It was scary. We ducked behind trees and junk to avoid being seen. We finally made it. Saria peeked around a giant rock to look at what the Gerudo's were doing. I had never been to Gerudo Valley before. I had only heard the story's Link had told. It was pretty cool. "Wow! Look at all those women guarding their fortress!" Saria exclaimed.

"So should we just walk over there casually and ask if they can teach us how to fight?" Revlon asked.

None of us could think of any other options. We did just like Revlon had said. "Ahem. We come in PEACE." Saria said loudly.

Zelda, Revlon and I looked at her oddly as if she were crazy. She blushed. "Um… yeah… sorry." She said, embarrassed.

"Who are you!?" A Gerudo questioned. I stepped up.

"Um… I'm Malon, and this is Princess Zelda, Saria, the Forest Sage and Revlon, Link's girlfriend. We came here because we want to help fight in the war and no one else will bother teaching us because were girls." I said weakly.

The Gerudo got angry at this. Not at us but at who treated women and girls like dirt. I could tell, but I didn't know how. "Of course we'll teach you. I'll get you our finest warrior. She's not very patient but she's our best. Follow me to the training ground." The Gerudo told us.

All of us smiled at each other. We went to the back of the fortress. She told us to wait while she went to get the "impatient one" as I will call her until I know her name.

The Gerudo came out with another Gerudo with really red hair in a tight bun with a lot of loose hairs flying around. She was wearing a red tank top with a gold sword embroidered on the back of it. She was wearing those really baggy pants. She looked like she had fat legs. Then the other Gerudo left. "Hello. My name is Tasha-Kay. Call me T.K. okay?" she said, a little tense. "Alright." We all said in unison.

"Right. Let's start with footwork. This is called a grapevine. Take your left foot and cross it over your right foot. Then bring your right foot next to your left foot. Then bring your left foot under your right foot. Now keep on doing that in a circle until I say stop." T.K. said.

We did this for about five minutes. "Okay…. And Stop!" She said.

We stopped. "Very good. You guys are catching on faster than some Gerudo's." She said. We were pleased. "Now, let's do swords." She passed each of us a crappy sword.

We made faces. "If you guys pass this you'll get better swords and those better ones are for keeps." She said.

That made us happy. We worked extra hard. I did everything right. Not one single mistake. I was pretty proud. Zelda made a few blunders but she was still pretty good. I remembered why I was good. Seven years ago when Saria, Link and I went to Clocktown, I had sword and a shield. I had taught myself how to handle one. This was just a memory refresher. Saria was okay, and Revlon was pretty good. Better than Saria and Zelda. Then we were finally done. She gave us our better swords. They were never used before. So cool.

Then she snapped and a Gerudo came out with several outfits. Then I found out they were for us. They had four different colors. Red, pink, orange, and green. I chose pink for some very odd reason. Revlon chose orange, Saria picked green and Zelda was left with red. She wasn't disappointed. "Good luck during the war." T.K. said.

Then she and the Gerudo turned and left. All of us did a high five to each other. We then left to Hyrule Field. "Well how should we tackle our problem?" Zelda asked.

"What problem?" Saria asked.

"Where are we gonna put on our outfits?" She said as if that was the most important thing in the world.

"Well, we could go to my ranch." I said.

"Ah! Perfect idea! Let's go!" Zelda said.

We made it to the ranch unnoticed. We wanted to save our energy until we were actually ready. We all got our clothes on. We had the same baggy pants as T.K. had. I was the only one who had that golden sun embroidered on the back. That was cool. I glanced out the window. I stopped and looked at it again. Out the window, was about one hundred Lizalfo's. "Guys… look out the window…" I said as they crowded around the window.

Their mouths dropped about two inches. "Should we fight 'em?" Revlon asked.

"Are you freaking kidding? We'd get killed in the process." Zelda said glaring at Revlon.

"Uh, oh." I thought. I could sense the jealousy bug biting Zelda.

She had been a tad bit colder towards Revlon since the day she told me she more than liked Link. "Well, I think we should go on to the battle field and practice there." I said trying to steer away from a conversation about Link.

"Yeah I think so too." Saria said.

I think she knew Zelda loved Link. At least I wasn't the only one. I wouldn't be entirely left to blame if something happened.

"That works too. Maybe we can find Link!" Revlon said enthusiastically.

"Well, I'll find him first because he loves me not you and I love him back!" Zelda said angrily.

Uh oh. The secret was out. Saria and I looked at each other. I bit my lip.

"You… like… Link?" Revlon said shakily.

"Of course I do! And I bet he'd rather date a princess than some lowly villager!" Zelda said meanly.

Revlon was heart broken. I knew it. And so did Saria.

Then something out of the ordinary happened. Revlon punched Zelda right square in the nose. Zelda fell back a little. Revlon put her hand over her mouth. She couldn't believe she did that. Neither could I as a matter of fact. Let's just say Zelda was mad. Like as mad as Thalia gets. Zelda stormed off onto Hyrule Field. I didn't care. "Are you okay Revlon?" I asked cautiously to be sure I didn't get punched in the nose.

Saria kept her distance as well. "I'm fine. It's just that I'm shocked Zelda likes him too. She's right. A princess always gets what she wants." Revlon said.

Then she stood up sadly and left. We stood there in silence. "I think they should sort things out themselves." Saria said.

"Well, they'd probably beat each other to death." I said.

"Most likely. But I'm not getting involved. You can but I'm not." She said.

I agreed. I refuse to get involved in their catfight. Nothing I can do about it. "Should we go?" I asked.

"Yes." Saria said.

We did one last handshake just in case we got separated. Then we left. We took off. The creatures that were in the ranch did not notice us. We were out. I took a deep breath. I saw lots of soldiers and monsters fighting. It was overwhelming. Then Saria took off like a bolt of lightning. "Wait up!" I yelled.

Why had Saria ditched like that? I asked myself. "Malon, if we stay together, they will kill us in a flash. It's better off if we split up." Saria said seriously.

"But…" she cut me off. "Sorry Malon. See you." Then she was gone.

I was alone. I stood there for a long time. Then some ugly monster approached me with a small dagger. I sighed. I'd probably get killed by the first thing that came up to me. I sighed again. Suddenly, I yelled "BITE ME!!" It was slightly surprised so then I killed it.

"Wow," I thought. "I killed my first monster!"

Then I felt a presence behind me. I spun around. "Link?" I said surprised.

"Malon? What the heck are you doing here?" He asked surprised.

"Err… well… gee it's hard to explain…" I said nervously.

He looked at my Gerudo outfit. "You went to the Gerudo's didn't you?" He said suspiciously.

"Yeah, well Saria, Zelda, Revlon and I went there so we could help in the war because the Sheikah priest or whatever said we were poor defenseless people." I lectured loudly.

A little too loud. About five "things" came toward us with swords, butcher knifes, the works. He glanced at me and then killed two while I killed three. I smirked. Luckily he didn't notice. "C'mon let's go in the ranch." He said.

"Kay whatever." I said.

We walked in my dad's ranch. I grabbed his shirt and pulled him inside. "What was that for?" He asked.

"Err… there's a million mosquitoes out there and Saria got bitten by a million of them." I said.

He raised an eyebrow. "Fine don't believe me." I said trying to block his view from the window.

If he saw all the, the monsters he would go out and attempt to fight them but I knew he would die. "I can't believe this. Was this your brilliant idea?" He said.

"NO! It was ALL of OUR idea!" I said, half yelling, half talking.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to burst your bubble. I already know. I talked to Revlon." He said laughing.

I was mad. I was gonna lose my voice for not shutting my trap. "Then why did I have to explain it all over again?" I said trying to be calm.

"I was just bugging you." Link said.

"Grrr." I thought silently. "Who does he think he is the lousy buttmuncher?" I thought.

Then a strange feeling came over me. I don't know what it was but my stomach felt tingly. Then I remembered. When I was a kid about eleven I had a huge crush on Link. I felt tingly then. "Crap." I said.

"What is it?" He asked. "What? Oh nothing." I said.

Did I say crap out loud?

"Grrness." I thought. I'm such a klutz.

"What did Revlon say?" I asked.

"She… broke up with me." He said with no expression on his face so I couldn't tell what he was feeling like.

"Oh. Sorry. Why did she break up with you?" I asked shyly.

"She said she was afraid I would get killed and she'd rather be my friend than my girlfriend." He said happily.

He was smiling. I couldn't believe it. He was happy.

Revlon and I would always think up the most perfect wedding for her and Link. We'd design her wedding invitations, her dress and read Bride Magazine which had all the latest brides wear. I could not believe it at all. "You're happy about this?" I asked surprised.

"Well not really but now were friends. That's good enough for me. I found a new love." He said.

I gulped. It was probably some girl I didn't know. We didn't know Revlon existed until Link brought her for us to meet her. "Who… is… it?" I asked shakily.

"Do I know her?" I said.

"Better than anyone else." He said.

I thought hard. Who do I know better than anyone else? Hmmm. "I give up." I said.

He looked at me. "What? What did I do?" I said puzzled.

"Who have I known almost all my life?" Link asked smiling.

I thought hard again. Hmmm. Then a bell rang in my head.

"I know!" I said.

"You do?" He said.

"Yep. It's Saria." I said.

He laughed. "No, I've known her all my life. I've known this person almost all my life." Link said.

"Same difference." I said.

I honestly had no clue who it was. "I give up." I said.

"Alright I'll tell you. Promise not to tell?" He asked.

I nodded a tiny bit nervous.

"Kay…. It's you." He said.

I was speechless. It was very cool. Then I hugged him.

"I like you too." I said.

He hugged back.

"Why are you blocking the window?" He asked.

"Uhh… actually you can't see it." I said.

"Why?" He asked.

"Fine you can see it but don't go out there. Promise me?" I asked.

He smiled. "I Promise." He said.

I bit my lip. "Alright you can look." I said as I moved away from the window. He looked out.

He grinned. "Malon, I can take on the Lizalfo's in no time flat." Link said.

"No you can't." I said seriously.

I felt sorry for Revlon. No wonder she broke up with Link. She didn't want him to get hurt. "Well… not without me." I said confidently.

He frowned. "I don't want you to get hurt."

I gave him my puppy eyed doggy look. He smiled.

"Alright. Let's just be careful." Link said.

"You got it." Then I ran out the door.

"Wait up!" He yelled while running after me.

"Okay" I said and then I stopped and waited.

"Alright, let's go." Link said.

I sighed. There seemed to be a million Lizalfo's out there.

"Kay, I guess. Let's go." I said reluctantly.

We went outside. The snow was piling up higher. Surprisingly, I wasn't freezing my butt off. Then I saw Link kill five Lizalfo's at once. I grinned. I could do more than that. I ran up and killed six. Not at once, but I did it fast. We beat up all the monsters in no time at all. We didn't get a scratch on our bodies. Then I saw a Lizalfo's go into where we kept the milk.

"Look." I said while I pointed toward it.

He smiled at me. "C'mon lets go." He said and then he took off.

"Wait up!" I yelled.

We opened the door. "I don't see anything." Link said.

I looked around. I didn't see anything either. Then the Lizalfo grabbed me and covered my mouth with his nasty hand. I attempted to scream but it didn't work.

"Drop your sword." The thing said to Link.

I tried to shake my head no so he wouldn't drop it. The thing had a firm grip on me. Link dropped and slid it over by my feet. I noticed that nothing was tying my feet together so I was gonna kick his "area." I did. He let go of me. Then I quickly grabbed Link's sword and then I killed him slowly and painfully. I could tell it was slow and painful but I won't go into detail about that.

"Are you okay?" Link asked, worried. I nodded.

"He smelt bad." I said.

Link smiled. "Should we go onto Hyrule field?" Link asked while taking his sword back.

"Yeah." I said while getting mine from the corner of the room.

We went out of the ranch. The snow was red in many places. I frowned. There were black spots too. "What's the black stuff in the snow?" I asked.

"It's blood. Orc and Lizalfo blood. Probably other stuff too." Link said.

I made a disgusted face.

"Fight?" I asked him.

"Yes." He answered.

"Alright, let's go." I said and I ran off.

"Wait up!" He yelled.

Then I ran into a soldier.

"I didn't know Gerudo's were helping us." The soldier said.

"Err… I'm not a Gerudo…" I said a little nervous.

He raised an eyebrow.

"I'm Malon, Talon's daughter at the ranch." I said.

"Really. You should be at the refuge." He said.

"Really? Well I'm sorry but I'm not going. I'm helping here you selfish nutcase." I said.

Then I realized what I had just said. I held my breath. This was probably gonna be my last breath. Then he'd kill me. He did just that. He lifted his sword in the air. I ducked and rolled. Then I saw Link tackle him. I opened an eye. I could kill fine. I just had to learn to defend myself better. I sighed with relief.

"Don't kill her. She's a really good fighter." Link said.

The soldier frowned. "But she's a… girl." He said.

That was like a racist comment or something. I stood up and pointed my sword at his throat. I could have killed him. Luckily I didn't. If I did they would hang me because he was a general for the Hylian army. He was too important to kill. I put my sword in its sheath. "Stupid fruitcake. Doesn't have the brains he was born with." I muttered under my breath.

He seemed to mumble something to and then he left.

"That stupid fruit is about as dumb as a rock." I said to Link.

He smiled. "He's the general. General Rockfruit." He's a butthead. He's paid to be one." He said.

I chuckled. "Hey guys. What's up?" It was Saria.

"Oh, hello Saria! I missed you." I said.

She was all blood stained. Wasn't her blood just black blood from the monster things.

"Must've killed a lot of things Saria." I said, looking at her clothes.

"Huh? Oh yeah. Lot's of stuff." She said.

"What have you people been doing?" She asked us.

"Nothing. Just killing things too." Link said.

"Revlon told me everything, Link." Saria said seriously.

"Oh you've been gossiping huh?" Link said.

"Err… well she saw me and told me." Saria said.

"Mmmmmm" I said.

"Well tell her that Malon and I are girlfriend and boyfriend." Link said.

"Wow, really? That's good news. I don't know why but…" Saria said as she stabbed a monster.

She then froze.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Is Kokiri Forest being protected?" She asked.

Then Link and I froze. "We have to go there right now!" Saria said.

Then we sprinted toward Kokiri Forest. We had made it. Just in time too. The Kokiri's were doing their normal thing.


"Hey Saria long time no see!" Mido said happily.

"Shut up barfbag and listen up. I want you to order all the Kokiri's into their homes and lock up real tight. Got it?" Saria ordered.

"Why?" Mido asked.

"DO IT NOW!" Saria yelled.

"Geez alright, alright I'll do it…" Mido said.


"Good job." Saria said and smiled at Mido.

All the Kokiri's frantically went to their homes. It was weird. We saw all the Kokiri's go into their homes. Then I saw a cute purple haired Kokiri crying. She was different than all the others. Her hair was short in pigtails. She wore a striped black and white tank top shirt. Her skirt went down to her feet and it was a violet color. She looked like a Goth kid. She looked like… Amy Lee. I didn't know the singer of Evanescence had a kid. Of course I didn't know if it was hers or just a strange looking Kokiri girl.

"Guys look." I said as I pointed to the girl.

"C'mon." Saria said.

We carefully approached the girl. We didn't want to scare her.

"Hello little girl. Are you alright?" I asked nicely.

She looked up. She shook her head.

"I wandered away from mommy and daddy when we went to the safe place. I don't know where they are at." The girl said.

We looked at each other. We knew we had to take her to the Sheikah Village.

"We'll take you to your mom and dad. What are their names?" I asked.

She sniffed. "Amy and Ben." She said.

I smiled. "Ah and what is your name?" I asked.

"It's Tara." She said.

"Alright Tara we'll help you find your mom and dad." Link said.

She stared up at Link. "You're… the Hero of Time?" She asked wide-eyed.

"Yes I am." Link said and smiled at her.

She opened her arms so he would pick her up. He did. I smiled at him. "He's acting just like a real father would." I thought to myself.

"Maybe he will be a father." I thought to myself again.

We made sure there were no Kokiri's that didn't go into their homes.

"I think one of us should stay." I said suddenly.

"I mean… to protect the Kokiri." I said.

"I will stay." Saria said.

"I will protect the forest." She said.

"Are you sure?" Link asked.

She nodded. "I can handle it. I'm the sage of forest and I can do it." She said.

We nodded back. Saria and I did our handshake like we always did. Then we left.

"How are we gonna get there without getting anyone hurt?" I asked as soon as we were out of the forest.

"We'll just have to try." He said.

Tara was sleeping soundly on Link's shoulder. I grinned. She looked so cute.

"If I ever have a kid I hope it's as cute as her." I told Link.

He looked at me and laughed.

"Don't dress it like a Gothic kid though." He said as he was laughing.

I smiled. I was glad she was asleep because I wouldn't want her to see all the blood and gore that was going on.

We made it to Death Mountain. I was surprised to see no monsters there. At the top of the mountain was the village. We made it up there without getting hurt. I took a breath and we went in.

"My dad better not see me." I said.

"We'll try." Link said.

We asked where we could find Amy Lee and Ben Moody and the man pointed toward one of the fanciest house like places. We knocked on the door. A frazzled Ben came out and saw us with Tara.

"Oh my gosh you found Tara! Amy! Come here! The Hero of Time found Tara!" Ben said.

Then Amy came out. She didn't look frazzled like Ben did, but she looked worried.

"Oh thank you so much!" Amy said.

"I remember you." Amy said to me smiling.

"You do?" I said.

"Yeah you're Malon the ranch girl. You guys have the best milk." She said.

I blushed.

"Thank you." I said.

They took the sleeping Tara.

"You guys make the cutest couple. Thanks again." Amy said.

Then she shut the door. I blushed again and looked at Link. He was blushing too.

"Well… I didn't know they had a kid." Link said, his embarrassment gone.

"Neither did I." I said.

We went down the mountain. There were monsters on the way down the mountain. We killed them all. When we made it to the field we were shocked. Almost all the monsters were gone. It was snowing, covering all the blood. All the bodies were gone. Then a soldier came up to us. "Link. Ganondorf wants to fight you not anyone else." The soldier told Link.

"Alright. Where is he?" Link asked.

"No you can't fight him." I said.

"He's in the market. He says he wants you there now." The soldier said.

Then he left. Link started following him. I took a breath.

"Wait up. I'm fighting him too." I said stepping in line with him.

"No you can't. Its way to dangerous." He said.

"You're doing it so, so am I." I said.

He was considering it. I could tell. "Alright. But you better be careful." He said seriously.

"You got it!" I said happily.

We made our way to the market. Ganondorf was standing there.

"Hello Link… and Malon." Ganondorf said.

"Hello, fruitcake." I said without expression.

"Mmm." He said.

"Bite me." Link said.

He sighed.

"Link we've been through this. I'm the bad guy and I'm supposed to." He said.

"I have no clue what you just said." I said, puzzled.

Then, without warning, Link and Ganondorf went for each other. It was a simple battle. Link just chopped his head off and that was the end. His body disappeared in thin air.

"Huh. That was interesting." I said.

"It was simple." Link said.

We went out of the market and Revlon, Zelda and Saria were waiting for us.

"Hey Malon! Guess what? There's gonna be a party for the "We Win the War" party!" Revlon said.

"Oh… Hi Link." Revlon muttered.

"Well uh… your dad and Thalia are back Malon." Saria said.

"Alright. I'm gonna go home and say hi to them." I said.

"Oh the party's tonight!" Zelda called after me.

"Kay!" I yelled back.

I made it home.

"Oh Malon you made it back alright!" dad said.

"Hi dad! I missed you so much!" I said happily.

"Oh, honey how are you? We were so worried about you!" Thalia said as she came down the stairs with one fake eyelash on.

"Err… hi Thalia…" I said.

"I'm gonna take a shower." I said as I took off up the stairs.

The shower was the best one ever. I washed all the blood off of me. Then I put on a punky dress for the party tonight. It kind of looks like Tara's dress. I put my hair in a loose bun. Then I put on some purple boots. Then I figured out Thalia and dad are going. That really sucks. When they were finally ready we left. Evanescence was there again like it was for Zelda's birthday. This time it was playing My Last Breath. I never heard it. I'm assuming they just wrote it.

"Hey, hey Malon! Boy you look just like Tara!" Saria said happily.

She certainly looked refreshed.

"Hi Saria. Thanks for the compliment." I said.

"I know something you don't." Saria said suddenly.

"What are you talking about?" I asked puzzled.

She just shrugged and then she went to talk to the king.

"Hi Malon. How are you?" Zelda asked.

"Fine, thanks." I said still puzzled.

Then she flounced off. I saw Link talking to my dad. My dad was nodding and smiling. Then Link showed my dad something. My dad grinned wider. Link had his back to me so I didn't know what it was. Then Link turned around and came toward me. He looked at the band and they started playing My Immortal. I was very confused. Zelda, Saria and Revlon came around me. There was a big empty circle around me. I was very, very confused. Then Link was in front of me.

"Hi… what is going on?" I asked him.

"Malon?" He said.

"Yeah?" I said.

He kneeled down.

"Will you marry me?" He asked while he presented me with a diamond ring. I was speechless for almost once in my lifetime.

"Of… of course!" I squealed with pleasure.

He slipped the ring on my finger. I hugged him. It was the happiest day in my life. I saw Thalia crying tears of joy. For once since I've known her I liked her.

Then the party turned into our engagement party. It was fun. People were asking me a million questions. Link and I decided to have a spring wedding with Saria as the maid of honor, Revlon, and Zelda were the other bridesmaids. Link had to find a bunch of guys for his Groomsmen. [Saria seemed to take a liking to one of them.] We built a house after our wedding on the little island thing on Lake Hylia. Saria lived on the coast of it so we could talk whenever we wanted. I will never forget my engagement/wedding day. Those are the two best days of my life. So that's the story. The end. Bye, bye. See ya.


[Of this story]

^_^ So there you have it. My first finished book. Hope you liked. ^_^

C Randi all rights reserved

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