The Amazing Race:
Nintendo Universe

By Stephen Stephano


Race Leg #2 – Eagleland


“This is Peach’s Castle.  This majestic marvel of Mushroomian might is an oracle to the monarchy of Mushroom Kingdom.  It is now the starting point of the second leg, in a race around the world.”


“Mario and Luigi won the last leg, so they will depart first, at 11:18pm.”


Mario: Let’see go!  **tears open the clue.  “Make-a your way to the Republic of Eagleland!”


“Teams must now make their way onto a bus and travel four hundred miles to Eagleland, where they will stop in the town of Onett.”


“Onett is the site of the Gigyas invasion, where a group of aliens led by their leader of the same name began to attack the population and sought to bring Eagleland under its ultimate control.  The initial meteor impact containing alien life landed here, in the backyard of Ness’s house.  Today, a stone tablet marks the landing point.  Right behind the stone tablet is where the racers will encounter their first task.  There is a giant pile of meteor fragments behind me.  Each team has a color-coded group of fragments that when combined, form a 3-dimensional puzzle of the Gigyas Meteor.  When teams find the pieces, and then assemble them on the tables across the yard, they will receive their next clue.”


Mario and Luigi start the leg first, at 7am.  Donkey and Diddy Kong open their quest just a few minutes afterward. 


Mario: There’s the house, right over there. 

Luigi: And there’s the clue box.  Let’s-a-see what it says.  Grab the meteor pieces with the green markings and assemble your replica of the Gigyas Meteor.

Mario: It’s a construction challenge…right up our alley.

Luigi: It’s not the same as plumbing you know.

Mario: Close enough. 


Donkey and Diddy meanwhile, for obvious reasons, have difficulty communicating with the taxi driver and get lost as a result. 


Fox and Krystal get on the course at 7:09am, they are followed by 2 other teams at 7:13am, one of them Sonic and Tails. 


Sonic: Find the orange-marked meteor pieces and assemble a replica of the Gigyas Meteor.

Tails: It’s a 3D puzzle. 

Sonic:  Yeah but we have to find the pieces first.  Looks like the plumbers are already starting to assemble theirs. 

Tails: I don’t see the Primates, they must’ve gotten lost. 

Sonic: Either that or DK couldn’t fit his fat butt in the taxi. 


After a few minutes, Sonic became very frustrated with his team’s lack of progress in locating the orange-colored pieces within the gigantic stack.  Tails could tell what he was thinking, and although he tried to dissuade him, Sonic couldn’t be stopped.  He took out a power ring.


Sonic: Sonic-Boom!  He charges up and runs himself right into the pile, sending all the pieces into the air and all across the yard.  Some of them pieces land on the roof of Ness’s house, and some at the base of the nearby nursery.  The falling pieces land on Mario and Luigi’s halfway-completed meteor, forcing them to start over. 


Mario: Momma-Mia! 

Luigi: Those-a-hedgehog creatures are crazy.  Now we have to find our pieces over again!


The two teams of the medieval world, Ike and Lyn and Link and Zelda, both start their journey at 7:22am and arrive at the clue box at the same time. 


Lyn: Create your own replica of the Gigyas Meteor using the blue colored pieces.

Ike: Sweet, blue’s our color, and puzzles are our lifeblood!  Let’s go!


Link: Our pieces are yellow Zelda.  Let’s find them!

Zelda: Somehow I don’t think this yard should be so…disorganized.  Looks like a tornado came through here.  It was probably that crazy hedgehog over there.

Sonic: Well excuse me, Princess!


The puzzle has proven to be very difficult, so when Donkey and Diddy finally arrive after touring halfway around Onett, nobody has completed their puzzle yet.  With their long history and emphasis on strategy and puzzle solving from their militia upbringing, Ike and Lady Lyndis complete the puzzle first and take the lead.  Ness’s mother hands them the clue.


Lyn: We have to take the El Train to New Pork City to Alien Station!


“Teams must now head on the passenger train and subway line to New Pork City.  This bulging metropolis, Eagleland’s biggest city, is home to over 90% of the commercial and economic infrastructure in Eagleland.  Their first destination in this urban metroplex is Alien Station.  This area is a major commercial as well as educational mecca of town.  Here the teams will encounter a detour challenge.  They can either spark it, or mark it.”


“In spark it, teams will head to New Pork Electric Power Co, where they will have to work together to power up an energy tower by unleashing psychic energy from their own being.  They do that by watching the sequences of light they are shown on the touch screen, and then tapping the colors in the correct order.  Once their energy tower is supplied with enough voltage to power the generator, they will be handed their next clue.”


In mark it, the teams will go to New Pork Museum of Natural Sciences.  There, they will have to find 5 franklin badges using the clues given them by the museum guides.  These franklin badges could be found anywhere, but the clues will always reveal their location. Once the teams have recovered the required number of badges, they will receive their next clue.”


Ike: We have a detour coming up! 

Lyn:  Find the franklin badges at the museum or power up an energy tower with mind powers.

Ike: I don’t like either, but we did pretty well in finding the meteor pieces.

Lyn: I agree, let’s do the museum challenge. 


Back at the puzzle yard at Ness’s House, the remaining teams have arrived on the scene.


Ness: Lucas I know everything about this meteor, we find the pieces and I’ll assemble it in two minutes flat.


Ness’s mom comes out onto the back porch.  Ness gives her a quick wave, and then goes to his work while Lucas gathers pieces. 

Ness’s mom: I’ll have your favorite spaghetti and meatballs at the pit stop honey!

Ness: Yeah whatever mom, in the middle of a race here!


Across the way, some of the teams are getting more frustrated, especially the Racers.


Captain Falcon: God I want to Falcon Punch this thing…the pieces don’t fit!  Argh!

Jody Summer: Boy, I will slap you upside the head…get your anger under control before I do it for you.

Captain Falcon: What did you say to me?!

Jody Summer: You want to go, right now?  I dare you to try me.


Mario: This is-a-terrible.  I just can’t figure this thing out Luigi.

Luigi: Maybe we should watch Ness do it.


A big crowd gathers around Ness and Lucas.  Meanwhile several other teams are about done.


Krystal: I think we have it…have them check it Fox. 


Fox and Krystal have correctly completed the meteor and receive their clue.  They quickly depart for the train station. 


Sonic: Haha!  Got it!  We’re outta here! 


Zelda: There, everything looks right.  Are we good Link?  Link?  Yes, we can move on!

Luigi: Oh my dokey…4 teams have gone past us now Mario.


Meanwhile, the primates, plumbers, and a few of the teams that just arrived all gather around Ness and watch him work the pieces.  The 3-dimensional model doesn’t even faze him, and it only takes 90 seconds for him to complete the puzzle.


Ness: You’re all bunch of cheaters, just like the ones in the front row at my school!

Dedede: There’s nothing in the rules against us watching!

Ness: I just hope you brought some Whispy Woods apples to leave on your teacher’s desk.

Dedede: Sorry, Kirby ate most of them and the rest couldn’t clear customs.  Something about bringing alien fruit into Eagleland, the TSA had us impounded for three hours.  They suck!


Ness feigns anger for a moment, but then turns back to Lucas as the latter grabs the clue.  They are moving forward in the race.


Over the next several minutes, many of the other teams complete the meteor model based on Ness showed them.  All of the teams except for Ash and Gary, who started the latest at 8:19am and didn’t get there in time. 


Ash: So how do we put this thing together? 

Gary: Do I look like an instruction manual? 

Ash: Uggh, the sage of wisecracks strikes again.


Up ahead, Fox and Krystal are on the train about the get off at Alien Station.


Krystal: The clue box is across the street, let’s get it!

Fox: Power up the towers with mental psychic ability or find the franklin badges at the museum.

Krystal: Powers of the mind, I like that, let’s do that one.

Fox: Fine, but this one’s all you.


Zelda and Link are right behind the foxes and they choose the same challenge.  Sonic and Tails elect to head to the museum, where they catch up to Ike and Lyn, who are having some difficulty navigating the various exhibits. 


Ike: I believe we’ve been through here already…the microwave ovens and the automobiles right?

Lyn: How do I know, I’ve never even seen any of this stuff before.  I mean electricity and direct current, what in the world is this? 

Ike: Now I know how Link feels whenever he time travels into the future.

Lyn: Link can travel through time?

Ike: We chatted about it while in Subspace…long story, tell you more at the pit stop. 


Meanwhile at the power plant…Krystal and Zelda are at power stations next to one another.


Krystal: So it’s a great code of sorts…you have to get your mind to predict the buttons to press based on what you’ve seen before. 

Zelda: But it’s also a matter of timing…the colors brighten when the thing is active.

Krystal: The thing?

Zelda: I mean what we’re working on, the power station…apologies, I’ve never seen electricity before much less an advanced trinket like this. 


With Krystal’s technical expertise and Zelda’s ability to predict patterns and the future, the two help one another through the challenge and complete it quickly.  They are both handed their next clues.


Fox: We need to go to the stadium next.

Link: What’s a stadium?

Fox: A place where sporting men and women fight for superiority.

Link: So they hold tournaments there…good thing I brought my sword.


Fox grins.  The innocence of Link and Zelda were rather refreshing, but they would never make it as mercenaries. 


Meanwhile at the museum, Ness and Lucas have come tearing in and, knowing the museum like the back of their hand, have found the 5 franklin badges.  Ike/Lyn and Sonic/Tails are still struggling. 


Ness: The stadium is our next location.

Lucas: We might get to use our bats, that would help us.


“Teams must now take a taxi to Legends Field.  This baseball stadium, home to the Onett Golden Eagles of the Nintendo Baseball League, is one of New Pork’s crown jewels.  Built in 2004, the stadium seats over 37,000 people and is noted for its retro construction, harkening it back to Eagleland’s early days when the country was largely built of concrete and steel.  Here the racers will encounter today’s roadblock.  One member of each team must grab a home run bat and proceed to home plate.  There they will attempt to hit home runs in a home run derby style event.  If multiple teams are present then they will take turns every 5 pitches.  Once a player hits 3 home runs, they will be given their next clue.”


Meanwhile…back at Ness’s House…the pokemon trainers can’t seem to figure out the puzzle.  Ness’s mom eventually starts walking around the yard sprucing things up now that the meteor pieces have all been picked up. 


Ash: This is embarrassing Gary.

Gary: You always were a loser Ash.  Ever since the first day of trainership in Pallet.

Ash: You always were a pompous jerk who never admits when he’s wrong!

Gary: Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.


Up ahead at the stadium, Ness and Lucas have now moved into the lead after starting the leg in 10th.  They reach the clue box outside the stadium. 


Ness: Roadblock challenge…who’s ready to mash?

Lucas: This is definitely a baseball challenge, I want to do it.

Ness: Fair enough…I did the last one.


Trouble is that the challenge is to hit home runs, not singles or something less.  Lucas, because of his small size, has trouble with this, allowing the other teams to catch up.  Fox and Krystal and Link and Zelda are next on the scene.  Link and Fox elect to do the roadblock and start taking turns with Lucas. 


Fox: **swings, the ball flies deep to right center, but falls on the warning track.  (Oh…nearly had that one)


Zelda: Get a good swing on this one Link, you can do it!

Link: **swings, the ball ends up flying behind him…foul.  This is definitely more difficult than swordfighting.

Lucas: You really think so?

Link: You have a much bigger target to swing at during a swordfight.

Lucas: But don’t you have to worry about…I dunno…dying?

Link: Yeah but you get over that after a while.


Lucas looks petrified.  Link swings again and gets a perfect hit, driving it deep over the wall in left center field.  Zelda cheers, and there are a few claps from the others as well, just as Olimar and Louie arrive on the scene.


Meanwhile back at the power plant…Donkey and Diddy are having trouble with the power plant.  Despite messing around with the controls and watching the buttons flash for twenty minutes, they just can’t get it right. 


Diddy: Ooh-Ooh!  Oooww!    **pushes DK out of the way and starts pressing random buttons in a rapid, random fashion. 


Donkey Kong quickly becomes aggravated with Diddy and punches him out of the room.  He starts following the flurry of lights that Diddy produced.  Before long the station is powered up, mostly out of blind luck.  DK flexes his muscles as he receives the clue.


Lyn and Ike finally make it out of the museum and to the stadium, right behind Captain Falcon and Jody Summer.  At this point they have gone from leading to way back in 8th place, but luckily for them nobody has hit the required home runs yet. 


Ike: I’ve waited all race for a challenge like this.  I think I can do this, first rotation.

Lyn: I have little doubt that you can.  Show them your strength and toughness, big boy.


Ike steps up to the plate, and on the first pitch he smashes one extremely deep, clearing the 420 foot wall in dead center.  The hit brought out oohs and aahs from the crowd, which now included all but three of the teams. 


Ash and Gary finally get off the train at Alien Station, only to find out that they’ve been u-turned by Mario and Luigi.

Ash: Man this isn’t our lucky day.
Gary: Would you stop complaining and help me complete some challenges?
Ash: If only you weren’t so brash, so arrogant, and so unlikeable.
Gary: And so superior in every way.

Ash just shakes his head as they go to collect the Franklin Badges at the museum.

Meanwhile back at Legends Field, team Racer has already hit two home runs, including a towering shot deep to center.

Jody Summer: I bet you ten greenbacks Falcon hits his 3rd homer before Ike does.
Lady Lyndis: You’re on! Besides what’s a greenback anyway, I thought the money was dollars in Eagleland.
Jody Summer: It is, greenback is just another term for it, it was initially a fiat currency that was issued during this land’s civil war.
Lady Lyndis: They have war in Eagleland that doesn’t involve aliens? You mean, people fighting against other people? I knew there were some dirty secrets this place was hiding because it seemed way too…nice.
Jody Summer: Not like your own country huh?
Lady Lyndis: Unfortunately…people go to war over the stupidest things in our realm. King Ashnard would invade Gallia over his sandwich getting too cold!

Meanwhile, Falcon takes his next turn and on his third pitch smashes one deep to left center. He thinks he’s got the round tripper only for it to hit the wall.

Jody Summer: Oh, that was so close! Keep trying honey, you’ve got this!

Falcon can’t get it done this turn. Luigi, Fox, and Link hit next, and after the turn Luigi and Link are one away as well. Ike steps up next and on the first pitch uncorks one deep to right field. It’s a no doubter, and many oohs and aahs from the crowd as the ball lands in the upper deck.

Ike: That was too easy. He bows for the small crowd in the stadium as the other racers applaud.
Lady Lyndis: I guess those are my greenbacks Jody. See you at the Pit Stop!

Ike brings the clue over to Lyn.

Ike: Proceed on foot to the Brawl arena…it’s the Pit Stop.

“Teams must now head on foot across downtown to New Pork Smash Arena. This facility, which is one of the largest fighting arenas in the Nintendo world, was built in 2007 and is where Lucas plays his home SSBB matches. The arena was built of modern construction and features a model of the city complete with skyscrapers, helipads, and many other obstacles to keep fighters on their toes. The arena is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. The last team to reach this spot, may be eliminated.”

Lyn and Ike enter the arena, and run down the steps to the field that lies beneath the floating platform where the fighters fight. A young girl named Paula and a boy named Ninten, both friends of Ness and Lucas and defenders of Onett during the alien invasion, side on either side of host Phil Keoghan.

Paula: Welcome to New Pork City.
Ike: Thank you it’s good to be here.

“Ike and Lyn.”

Lady Lyndis: Yes?

“Congratulations you are team #1.”

Ike and Lyn let out a battle cry and then hug one another. They can scarcely hide their excitement.

“As the winners of this leg of the race you two have each won $10,000 in cash as well as an official replica Onett Home Run Bat.

Ike: Wow, these are just like the ones we use in the SSBB arena.
Lyn: You can put it next to your SSBB championship trophy from last year.
Ike: You’re so sweet. They hug once more.

As Phil and the two youngsters look on, another team comes bounding down the stairs.

“Falcon and Summer…you are team #2.”

Falcon: Alright! The two clap amongst themselves.

“You two made up a lot of ground on this leg…how did you do it?”

Summer: I think we did a good job working together through the museum exhibits, we made up some time there, and then he caught us up almost to the lead in the home run challenge.

Falcon: I sure showed them my moves.

Meanwhile back at Legends Field, four groups are down to their final home run when Metaknight and Dedede enter the park.

Dedede: Just give me a bat and watch me work.

On the first pitch he sees, Dedede crushes it deep to center, very nearly out of the ballpark and onto the street beyond the entrance gate.

Link: Dear Farore…
Krystal: My Krazoa spirit…

Dedede needs just four pitches to hit the three needed home runs, completing the challenge in less than 2 minutes. He grabs the clue from the hands of the hitting coach.

Dedede: You all just got hammered!

Fox: He’s a riot! He’ll be here all week!

Dedede looks to get into a confrontation with Fox but Metaknight steers him away and out of the park.

As the time goes on, each of the teams completes the challenge in the ballpark and heads for the smash arena. Ness and Lucas are the last team left in the stadium as the sun starts to go down, but there is still no sign of the pokemon trainers, who have been trailing all day.

Ness: Come on Lucas, just one more!
Lucas: It’s been almost an hour since I hit the last one. I’m tired.
Ness: Just concentrate. Think, you don’t even have to swing hard, if your timing is right the ball will just shoot off the bat. Think of your smash brothers training!

Lucas takes Ness’s words to heart and waits for the pitch. He swings fluidly and connects with the pitch, sending it down the left field line. The ball is hooking toward foul ground but clips the foul pole, making it his third homer.

Ness jumps out of the seats while Lucas grabs the clue. They start making their way on foot through the city.

Ness: You don’t suppose Ash and Gary found a fast forward and got past us, do you?
Lucas: Oh, man I hope that didn’t happen…I wouldn’t be able to live down getting eliminated at home.
Ness: You take things way too seriously, always have. The sunset looks beautiful tonight.
Lucas: Won’t mean much if we lose.

Ness shakes his head. They eventually make to the smash arena, where the twilit sky reflects off of the glass ceiling, resulting in a rainbow-like glare dropping to the field. Lucas gets even more nervous when he sees Ninten and Paula, to the point where sweat beads off his forehead.

Ness and Lucas…you are team #10.”

Lucas: Oh thank goodness…he let’s out a big sigh and Paula gives him a hug. Ness is visibly relieved as well but doesn’t show half the emotion.

Hours following everybody else, and well past darkness, Ash Ketchum and Gary Oak finally reach the Pit Stop following their mistake-prone, bickering-filled misadventure.

Paula: Welcome to New Pork City.
Gary: Yeah whatever…

“Ash and Gary…you are the last team to arrive.”

Ash: Yeah I kinda figured that.

“And I regret to inform you that you have both been eliminated from the race.”

Gary: Well, that does that. Time to get back to hanging with my girls and beating your butt and pokemon battles.
Ash: You’ve got yourself a deal, and I’m going to beat you this time!

Leg 2 roundup –
1st – Ike and Lyn
2nd – Falcon and Summer
3rd – Dedede and Metaknight
4th – Mario and Luigi
5th – Link and Zelda
6th – Donkey and Diddy
7th – Fox and Krystal
8th – Sonic and Tails
9th – Olimar and Louie
10th – Ness and Lucas
11th – Ash and Gary (eliminated)



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