Let's Ask Link!

By Miriam

Author's Note: Basically Link is addressing the Interviewer throughout. She's female, unluckily for her, because Link- behind the scenes of course- is just a leettle bit of a flirt. COUGH (humps anything with a skirt).

Hey, Baby. How psyched are you to actually be meeting…wait for it…the Link. I mean, if it was me, then-seriously-I'd be like all over me.

Why wouldn't I be?

What's that, hun- Arrogant? Tch. We all know that it's one of the sexiest qualities in a dude-not-that-I-like-dudes. I'm very much Macho. I mean, I don't bat for the other team if you know what I mean. I don't butter the other side of the bread if you catch my drift. I- oh you get it? Good.

But yeah, arrogance is one of the most sexy things about a guy, that and jealousy. (winks)

What do you mean it doesn't turn you on?

…Can we just get to the questions please?

'Who did I get on best with in the Cast?'

WELL! That's a hard decision- did you SEE how many hot babes there were on the set? I'm telling ya- like a kid in a candy store. And of course, they all wanted to get to know me a little better- well a lot better if you know what I- wow you interrupt a lot don't you?

What do you mean it's important that you do?

So what if you're recording this?

Fine, I'll get to the point…

I think it'd have to be…Zelda. I mean, she was the co-star. Although she didn't get as many lines or any action. I don't think she could cope with all the work, really, bless her. We had a really intense partnership, y'know? She was all like, "Link you're so amazing. We should hook up after this."

Uhhh no actually we didn't hook up.

Of course it was my decision. I mean, why wouldn't she-


So…you talked to Zelda?

Well, (laughs uncertainly) she can be a bit…well she lies. A lot. She's crazy.

Ok, I did give her my number.

Yes, of course she asked for it! I'm not desperate…

Did she call me?

…Y-yeah of COURSE she did! I mean, it's me Link! The Link! (shifts in his seat)

What was my favorite part of the game?

WELL, there wa- what do you mean it can not be about the ladies? What else is there to the game?

…Quests? Pfft.. ok there might have been a few but it's not like they were the main element of the game! HOT BABES, babe!

Fine…I'll answer the question 'maturely'…

(Bored voice) I think the most enlightening part of the game- which helped me blossom as a human being- was probably defeating the evil Ganon and saving all of Hyrule from certain peril blah de blah but I did also enjoy spending time with the la-

Hmpf. Fine.

What was it like working with a horse? …Well it was OK I guess. I mean, she was a total babe magnet- OK! OK! Just put your shoe BACK on...

Ok...that's better, isn't it?

But yeah she was too tame y'know? Click your fingers- well, just play a song on the Ocarina- and she'd come running.

I look for a certain rebellion in a women, yeah?

Cos I'm, like, a Free Spirit. (Flips fringe)

…It does SO make sense!

..Next question please!

My fan base? Yeah it's HUGE! They like the tights, ya see. But of course my looks and skill and natural charm win the argument.

…Well what would YOU know?

Tch. Whatever, I love a challenge. (winks)

OUCH! Those are sharp points on those boots, you know! What's your problem?!

Suuure you just slipped…(dark look) Anyway- you have statistics on my Fan Base? Awesome!

So what percentage of them is hot?

…90 percent.. Is a (whispers) gay fan base?

(wild screeching laughter as he wipes brow) HAHAHA! Oh stop it! That's FUNNY! Heh

No seriously, stop it.

…You're serious?!

… (broken voice) Next question please...

We're finished? You mean that's it?

Thank God..nothing! I didn't say anything!

Well, it was definitely fun talking with you, Hun. As I said, I like a challenge, a quest as you put it...and I think you might be on the 'easy' setti-


(clutches face) Well…(swallows) that's not the first time I've been slapped…

What do you MEAN you're not surprised?!


Next Interview: Ganon

SPECIAL REQUEST: I'd really appreciate some suggestions for what Questions the Interviewer should ask Ganon :D That way, it'll be as if you guys are personally asking them, and my questions aren't FAB and I'd love the Fic to make you readers feel included!


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