The Courting of Thou Noble Link!
Dedicated to 'The Chosen One'

By Dagger

Well, it has to be said, the hottie for the girls in Zelda is definitely Link, and there's just too many girls in Zelda to grant a winner! *cough!*(NABOORU!)

Anyway, lets zoom in and take a look at the COURTSHIP OF THOU NOBLE LINK! P.s. this is Link as an adult and after saving the world from the evil Ganon blah blah….


Ah here we are, Link is 'chillin' in his tree house, getting some milk from the cow that Malon gave him for some strange reason, probably to woo him, by tweaking her udders like taps and squirting the milk into an already invented wine glass. He swirled it around like whisky or whatever drink you do it with and drank it regally. Suddenly there was a scuffling noise and Saria clambered up, mud smeared on her hands and knees.

'Hey….Link….' She gasped, clearly out of breath.

Link smiled and put his arm around her and from the kindness of his toenails said quite poshly; 'Saria, my dear! Come take a rest by the fire! I'll shall be taking my tea by the veranda! Pip pip.' And he started to stroll to the super hip cool balcony that I WANT!!! *breathes heavily* smoking a pipe as he went. Ooh ooh! And a monocle! Yeah! Anyway, Saria grabbed the back of his super cool hip tunic that-well, we've aaallll bin there-and pulled him back, her eyebrow raised (she had a tweezer accident) and said; 'Uuh, Link, I just scrambled up your ladder to tell you Zelda has come to see you, in a LOT of make-up and some weird high heels.' She shrugged and shuddered, and jumped out of the tree, breaking a leg in the process. Meanwhile, Zelda soared in, caressed with lilies and a beautiful hairdo, getting rid of that AWFUL BRIGHT BLUE EYE SHADOW THAT SO DOESN'T GO WITH HER COMPLEXION!!! ARGH! *breathes hard*

Anyway, so Link is totally gob smacked that a princess, a beautiful princess at that, wanted to see him in his Gruesome Grotto! I mean, mould and flies everywhere, not to mention that old stuffy cow hanging round. YES, I mean Navi! And the….actual cow….AHEM! Anyways, so Link asks Zelda what she's doing here.

'Um….what're you doing here?'

Zelda giggles. 'Um…I dunno....Oh yeah! Just to tell you that I hate you and we will never go out together, because we are SO not each other's type! Kay? Because you're very big headed. Like Navi.'


Link shrugged. 'Ok, I didn't like you that much either, too frigid!'

Zelda nodded and left, just after muttering 'Jackass…'

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