Chapter 3; The Battle of the Sages
Zelda and Link, along with their allies, Leigh, the Avatar, Impa, Sage of the Shadow Temple, and Nabooru, Sage of the Spirit Temple had made it into Ganon's domain. Zelda has taken the Triforce of Wisdom with her and levitated it above her. The heroes were about to face off with several of Ganon's toughest forces. Link wondered about what creature they would face first.
Zelda: Yeah, Link?
Link: Which of Ganon's flunkies do you think will attack us first?
Zelda saw Gohma, the giant Crab behind Link.
Zelda: You really want to know?
Zelda: In that case...look out behind you.
Link turned around and saw Gohma, ready to attack. This made him a little nervous.
Link: Oh, boy. This isn't good!
Gohma was about to attack Link, when all of a sudden, a flying Deku Seed hit the creature's eye, which is its weak point. Gohma was blinded...for the moment.
Everyone, but the two Sages was surprised about what just happened.
Link: Who did that?
Zelda: I don't know,
Leigh: Me neither.
Impa the Sage: I think I know.
Nabooru: Yeah. I know who did that as well, Impa.
Zelda, Leigh and Link wanted to know who sent a Deku Seed flying to their foe.
Link, Zelda & Leigh: WHO?
Nabooru pointed to a green-haired girl with blue eyes, and a green outfit.
Nabooru: She did.
Link asked the girl what her name was.
Link: Who are you, little girl?
The girl answered Link right away.
Girl: I am Saria, The Sage of the Forest Temple. It is an honor to finally meet you, Link III.
Zelda was amazed that Saria appeared to help them out.
Zelda: (in amazement) You mean you're THE Saria?
Saria: The one and only.
Leigh, who is Saria's descendant, was overjoyed to finally meet her distant relative.
Leigh: Saria, I am Leigh, your descendant. It is an honor and a privelige to finally meet my ancestor.
Saria: The pleasure, Leigh is all mine,
Link interrupted the meeting with news of Gohma's recovery.
Link: Um, guys...could we skip the formalities until LATER? Gohma's recovered!!
Everyone turned to see the enraged Gohma.
Zelda: Uh oh...looks like Gohma isn't defeated yet!
Impa the Sage: So it isn't.
Nabooru: Who wants dibs on finishing this giant crab off?
Leigh: I'll do it. (looks at Gohma) Adios, Gohma. Give my regards to the Evil Jar!
Leigh sent a magical blast straight to Gohma's eye. This blast sent it to the Evil Jar.
Gohma: (disappearing) GGGRRRRR!!
As soon as Gohma disappeared, Saria made a quip about the creature.
Saria: That's funny. That looked NOTHING like the Gohma that attacked the Great Deku Tree centuries ago.
Link was confused on this one.
Link: What type of creature was the Gohma that attacked this Deku Tree, anyway?
Saria: A Parasitic Armored Arachnid.
The mere thought of a parasitic armored arachnid version of Gohma made Link appreciate fighting Gohma the Crab more.
Link: YUCK! I'd rather face Gohma the giant Crab anyday! Just thinking about arachnids makes me shiver!
Saria, who decided to spook Link, told him there was a spider on his shoulder.
Saria: Well, I hate to break it to you, but there's a spider on your shoulder.
When Link heard that, he jumped all around, thinking there was a spider on his shoulder. It was so funny, everyone laughed.
Link: THERE IS?! (jumps like crazy) AAHHH! Get it off, get it off, GET IT OFF!!
Zelda: (laughs) Link, you're so silly.
Leigh: (laughs) Yeah, Link. Calm down a little.
Impa the Sage: (laugh) Yes. There is no spider on your shoulder.
Link: There isn't?
Nabooru: (laughs) Nope.
Link looked at his shoulder and saw there was nothing there.
Link: (looks at shoulder) WHAT THE HECK?! There's nothing there!
Saria: (giggles) Made you look.
Link was confounded and embarrassed.
Link: Oh great! I just fell for one of the oldest tricks in the book!
Zelda: Yep, you sure did. Now, let's get going!
"After Gohma's defeat, and Saria's little prank on Link, Our heroes now journey onto what seems to be a giant drum. Impa, who is the Sage of the Shadow Temple, recognized it, and got worried.
Impa the Sage: Oh dear. This is not good. We're all on a giant drum.
Link: Are you sure, Impa?
Impa the Sage: I'm absolutely certain, Link.
At that moment, something was pounding on the drum. Everyone looked up, and saw the Phantom Shadow Beast...BONGO BONGO!
Saria: It's just as we feared, Impa. It's Bongo Bongo, alright.
Impa the Sage: Yes. Good thing I've got just the item for the situation.
Impa got into her satchel and got a strange-looking lens out. She then gave it to Zelda, who was highly skilled in archery.
Impa the Sage: Zelda, take this. (gives Zelda a weird lens) This is the Lens of Truth. With it, you'll be able to see Bongo Bongo even after he becomes invisible.
Zelda: (takes Lens of Truth) Thanks, Impa. Does Bongo Bongo have any weaknesses?
Impa the Sage: Yes, Princess. Use your bow and arrows on his hands first, then aim for his eye. Finally, Link must slash at it with his sword.
Link: Got it, Impa. I'll do my duty.
Just as they finished speaking, Bongo Bongo's body became invisible. Using the Lens of Truth, Zelda was able to see it. Then, she fired arrows at both of the monster's hands, which were both paralyzed.
Zelda: Take that, you ugly Phantom Shadow Beast! (fires arrows at Bongo Bongo's hands)
After paralyzing Bongo Bongo's hands, Zelda sent a third arrow at its eye.
Zelda: (sends 3rd arrow at Bongo Bongo's eye)
Now, Link! Attack that creature!
Link: You got it, Zelda.
Without hesitation, Link slashed at Bongo Bongo's single red eye with his Cressword. Then, after a flurry of sword thrusts, Bongo Bongo stopped drumming, and went into the Evil Jar.
Link: Wow. That was close.
Zelda: It sure was. Now let's get going.
Nabooru: Let's go this way. It'll save us half the time.
Leigh: Good idea, Nabooru. Seems as good a way as any.
And with Bongo Bongo's defeat, the three heroes, and the three Sages went further into the Underworld."
As the heroes went deeper into the Underworld, they suddenly were blocked by some Moblins, Stalfos and a Dodongo. As always, they wanted Zelda's Triforce.
Moblin Leader: Give us the Triforce, NOW!
Stalfos Leader: If you give us the Triforce of Wisdom, we will be merciful.
Instead of giving the monsters what they wanted, Link and Zelda used their weapons on the monsters, thus sending them back to the Evil Jar.
Link: Oh, really?! EAT THIS!! (zaps the squad of Moblins with his Cressword)
Zelda: And, have some of THIS! (fires magic arrows at the squad of Stalfos)
Stalfos Leader: (to Moblin Leader) They did it to us again! (disappears)
Moblin Leader: (to Stalfos Leader) I know. At least the Dodongo is still standing. (disappears as well)
As the Stalfos and the Moblins disappear, the Dodongo, much in the way of a rhino, charged at its opponents. Fortunately, Link sent a bomb into its mouth.
Link: (throws bomb into Dodongo's mouth) Take that, you dumb lizard!
Dodongo: (swallows) Ulp.
After Dodongo ate the bomb, it exploded, hurling it into the Evil Jar as well.
Dodongo: RRAARRGG!! (disappears)
When the Infernal Dinosaur disappeared, Link made a comment about how easy that was. He also asked Zelda for a kiss....AGAIN.
Link: Well, that was a piece of cake. (turns to Zelda) Kiss me, Princess. I need a reward.
Of course, instead of kissing Link, Zelda slaps him on the face instead.
Zelda: (slaps Link) Why don't you think less of ME, and focus on the mission, ALRIGHT, LINK?!
Link: OW! Alright, Zelda...I get the picture. (exasperated sigh) Let's get going.
Then, as the group of heroes continue on, they go into a room with a red platform. As they step onto it, Nabooru recognizes the design of the platorm and realizes that they're in trouble.
Nabooru: Uh oh....
Link: What is it, Nabooru?
Nabooru: I think....we're in trouble. The design on this main platform is EXACTLY IDENTICAL to the one in the boss chamber of the Spirit Temple.
Impa the Sage: In other words...we're about to face Koume and Kotake, aren't we?
Nabooru: Yep. Afraid so.
But that fight was not to be...at least, not yet. The Twin sorceresses instead sent a Guardian Ironkunckle after them. The armored knight was on a metallic stallion.
Ironknuckle: I am Ironknuckle! Whoever desires to combat the Twin Sorceresses, Twinrova must first defeat me!
As the Ironkunckle charged, Nabooru sent a blast of magic at the horse, which was instantly whisked away into the Evil Jar.
Nabooru: (zaps the horse) Take that, you lame excuse of a horse!
Now that the Ironknuckle was on foot, it unseathed its sword.
Ironknuckle: You have done well so far, brave warrior. But now, you will feel the power of IRONKNUCKLE!
Nabooru scoffed at the Ironknuckle, and made a scimitar materialize in her hand.
Nabooru: Oh, please. (makes a scimitar appear out of nowhere) You Ironknuckles are nothing but dumb old suits of armor. I should know, because I was once one...of course, I had no choice in the matter.
The two warriors battled each other in a swordfight. After a few minutes of dueling, Nabooru quickly gained the upper hand in the fight by disarming her opponent, and thus demonstrates her superior fighting prowness.
Nabooru: (disarms the Ironknuckle) Ha ha! Looks like I win. Bye bye, Knucklehead. (thrusts sword into Ironknuckle)
With that final swordthrust, Nabooru sends the Ironknuckle into the Evil Jar. Before it vanished, it saluted the Gerudo warrior for her skills.
Ironknuckle: You are the superior warrior, but then all Gerudo warriror women are great warriors. It has been an honor to be beaten by one such as you. Farewell. (disappears)
Nabooru was impressed with the sense of honor that the metal knight displayed.
Nabooru: That was quite a battle. That Ironknuckle was a worthy adversary. It seems to have a sense of honor, too.
Link agreed entirely with what Nabooru had said.
Link: Yeah. The Ironknuckles I face are all like that.
As Nabooru and Link were talking, their conversation was abruptly interrupted by the appearance of Koume and Kotake. They immediately power up.
Koume: (appears) Did you see that, Kotake? Nabooru is still a worthy adversary.
Kotake: (appears) Yes, Koume. I noticed that. But, with my fire, I will burn her to the bone! (hair goes on fire)
Koume: And with my frost, I will freeze her to her soul! (hair freezes over)
Link, who wasn't about to let Nabooru get hurt, challenged them instead.
Link: Oh no you don't, you old hags! I'll take you both on!
Koume and Kotake: Alright, we'll take you on!
Nabooru, who was amazed at Link's bravery, told him how to beat them.
Nabooru: Link, in order to beat them, you have to turn their own magics against each other.
Link: Thanks for the advice, Nabooru. (gets out some Reflect Magic and sprinkles it on his shield) This Reflect Magic should do the trick.
Using the Reflect Magic on his shield, Link sent Kotake's flames to Koume, and vice versa. That got them really steamed.
Koume: Alright! It's time to get serious now, Kotake!
Koume: Oh, OK Koume.
Kotake & Koume: (flying in a circular formation) Kotake and Koume's Double Dynamite Attack!
Link watched in awe as the Sorceress Sisters merged into one being...TWINROVA!
Link: What the heck?!
Nabooru quickly told Link how to counterattack Twinrova's evil power.
Nabooru: That's Kotake and Koume's combined form. you have to use your shield to gather three bolts of fire energy or three bolts of ice energy to reflect it back at them.
Link: Thanks for the advice, Nabooru. I'll use that to my advantage!
Twinrova: (laughs) Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. You're no match for me, Hero.
Now that I've become Twinrova, I am INVINCIBLE!
Link: We'll see about that!
Doing as Nabooru instructed, Link used his shield to absorb three like energies, and reflected it back at her. Then, with a few well placed blasts from the Cressword, Twinrova split back into the two Sorceress Sisters. As soon as that happened, halos formed on their heads.
Koume: Alright, let's get really serious now! (halo forms on head) Wha?
Kotake: (halo forms on head) What?
Koume: Hey, Kotake, what's that thing on your head?
Kotake: I don't know, Koume, but you've got one, too.
Koume: But this can't be! I'm only 400 years old!
Kotake: and I'm only 380 years old!
Koume: We're twins! Don't lie about your age!
Kotake: You must've gotten senile!
Koume: Senile?! Is that any way to talk to your older sister?
Kotake: We're twins! How can you be older?!
Koume: Keyaah! How heartless you are!
Kotake: And you're ungrateful!
Koume: You're heartless!
Kotake: You ungrateful...
After arguing with each other, Koume and Kotake finally disappear into the Evil Jar.
Koume & Kotake: We'll come back to haunt you! (disappears)
Link, who was speechless around the time the Sorceress Sisters started arguing, finally asked Nabooru a question.
Link: Were those two old hags Ganon's surrogate mothers?
Nabooru: Afraid so.
Link: (laughed) I guess old Pig-face IS dumb enough to send his mommies after all.
Meanwhile, at the chamber with the Evil Jar, Ganon watched as almost all of his forces were sent back. It was time to send in the evil twins.
Ganon: It is time. Dark Link, Evil Zelda and Dark Leigh...
Evil Zelda: Yes, my lord?
Dark Link: What do you wish of us?
Ganon: It is finally time to face off with your goody-two-shoe counterparts! ATTACK!
Dark Leigh: Yes, your majesty. It will be done.
Ganon: Oh, and one more thing...I don't want to see any mushy stuff, alright, Dark Link and Evil Zelda?!
Evil Zelda & Dark Link: Y..y..y..y..y..y..yes, sir!
As the evil twins teleported to action, Saria talked to her descendant.
Saria: Leigh, I know all about what happened. Ganon shouldn't have used that dark mirror to make that evil doppelganger of you. He messes with one of my descendants, he messes with me.
Leigh: Thanks for coming to my aid, honored ancestor. I'm glad you're here, on my behalf.
As the conversation was warming up, it was abruptly ended with the appearance of the three doppelgangers.
Dark Link: Not so fast, you two!
Evil Zelda: Now, it's our turn to fight!
Dark Leigh: We're going to clean your clocks!
Link asked the Sages to help them.
Link: Impa, Nabooru, Saria, help us beat our evil twins.
The three sages, knowing that only the three heroes could face their evil twins declined.
Impa the Sage: I'm sorry, Link. That is something we cannot do.
Saria: Impa is right. This is a grudge match between you three and your evil selves. This you must face on your own.
Nabooru: But don't worry, guys. We know you can beat them.
Link: Thanks...I think.
As Zelda, Link and Leigh prepared for battle, they saw the unthinkable occur. Dark Link and Evil Zelda argued over who should attack who...and both acted like their real selves.
Dark Link: Alright, Evil Zelda. I'll take on the Princess. Link is all yours.
Evil Zelda: Oh no, you don't! You should handle YOUR good counterpart, and not mine!
Dark Link: Well Excuuuuussse me, Princess. I didn't know I wasn't supposed to handle your goody-good counterpart!
Link and Zelda watched in awe as their evil twins argued.
Zelda: Yikes! They're acting just like we do, Link.
Link: I know. It's scary. I'll settle their argument with a well placed blast from the Cressword. I'll leave Evil Zelda to you.
Zelda: Thanks, Link. I've wanted a rematch with that double-dealing doppelganger for quite a while, anyway.
And so, without a second thought, Link zapped his shadowy twin, sending it to the Evil Jar.
Dark Link:YIPE! We'll talk about a smooch later, Princess. Gotta go.
As Dark Link vanished completely into the Evil Jar, Zelda handed Link the Triforce of Wisdom, so he could take care of it until the battle was over.
Zelda: Link, please take care of the Triforce, ok? (hands it to Link) I won't be long.
Link: (holds Triforce of Wisdom) Ok, but don't be too long. (strains)
This thing is heavy.
Dark Leigh was ready for a slugfest, and so was the real Avatar.
Dark Leigh: I've been waiting for this moment, Leigh!
Leigh: So have I.
With those last words, Zelda and Leigh started to have an all-out brawl.
Link got a bit worried.
Link: I hope they don't fall into a mud hole.
Saria: Why not, Link?
Link: Because if they do, Saria, it'll be virtually impossible to tell them apart.
Saria: I see. I hope they don't. And Link?
Link: Yeah, Saria?
Saria: Sorry about the prank I pulled.
Link: It's ok, Saria.
Just then, the unexpected occur. Zelda and Leigh tackled their evil selves, rolled down a hill, and all landed in a mud. Link's worries were justified as their clothes were completely covered in mud.
Link: (looking at both Zeldas and both Leighs) Oh, NO! Not again! Now I can't figure out who to zap.
Leigh: Zap her, Link. She's the evil one.
Dark Leigh: Don't listen to her. I'm the real Leigh. She's the evil one.
Zelda: What're you waiting for, Link? Zap that impostor.
Evil Zelda: Don't be decieved! You know I'm the real Zelda.
Link was so confused, he decided that there was only one thing to do.
Link: I know how we can tell you four apart, ladies. Time for a kissing contest. (points to Evil Zelda) You first.
Evil Zelda, who resisted the temptation to kiss Link back at the Castle, gave in to the urge to do it this time.
Evil Zelda: Alright. Here's your kiss. (kisses Link on the lips)
Link: Very good. (goes to Zelda) Now for you.
Zelda, who always thinks Link is a pigheaded fool, gives him a slap on the face)
Zelda: (slaps Link) Don't even think about it, you stupid jerk!
Link now knew who the real Zelda was.
Link: YEOWTCH! That's my Zelda.
Evil Zelda was about to attack, but was stopped by a blast from the Cressword. She was sent back into the Evil Jar.
Evil Zelda: WHY I OUGHTA!! You haven't seen the last of me!
Link: Well, it's Leigh's turn. (points to Dark Leigh) You're up.
Dark Leigh, who was also created by Ganon's Doppelganger Mirror, had the irresistible urge to kiss Link as well.
Dark Leigh: If you say so, Link. (kisses him on the lips) Mmmm mmm mmm!
Link: WOW! That was hot! (points to Leigh) Now, it's your turn.
Of course, Leigh, who hardly knew Link, gave him a left hook to the jaw...at the same place Evil Zelda hit him.
Leigh: (gives Link a left hook to the jaw) FORGET IT! I don't know you that well!
Link: OWTCH!! (rubs his jaw) I guess you're the real Leigh.
Dark Leigh: Gggggrrrr...Curse you, Link!
Dark Leigh was ready to blast Link from behind, when Zelda fired an arrow from her Magic Bow.
Zelda: Sorry, sister. Not today.
Dark Leigh was instantly transported into the Evil Jar as well.
Dark Leigh: OH NO! You guys haven't seen the last of me! I'LL BE BACK!
After Leigh was hurled into the Evil Jar, Zelda got the Triforce back.
Zelda: Okay, Link. You can give me the Triforce now.
Link: About time, Zelda. (hands her the Triforce of Wisdom) I was about to collapse here.
Zelda: You'll get over it.
Ganon, who had watched everything through his crystal ball, was very furious.
Ganon: RARRG! I DON'T BELIEVE IT! All of my forces beaten by those fools! If you want something done right, you'll have to do it yourself.
Ganon immediately teleported into the tide of battle. Link and Zelda were wondering when he'd show up.
Ganon: (teleports) This is the last straw, Link! Prepare for the final battle!!
Link: Ganon! I was wondering when you'd show up, Pig-Face!
Zelda: Yeah, Ganon! We were wondering when you'd go into the fray!
Ganon: Well, you know how I am. I wait for the right moment to strike.
And that time is NOW!!
Ganon blasted Link with a energy bolt. Link stopped it with his shield, and fired two bolts from the Cressword.
Link: (zaps Ganon) Double Zap, Ganon! One more zap, and you'll be sent back into the Evil Jar!
Ganon: We'll see, Hero! (zaps Link with another energy blast)
Ganon counterattacked with a blast which hit Link.
Link: UUNGGH! (falls down) Somebody get me out of this.
Impa of the Sheikah, who hasn't fought until now, sent an energy blast of her own at Ganon. That last hit sent him back to the Evil Jar.
Impa the Sage: Sorry, Ganon! Better luck next time. (zaps Ganon)
Ganon: I had him! I ALMOST HAD HIM!! (disappears)
With Ganon's defeat, the battle was finally over. Saria, Nabooru, Impa the Sage, Zelda, Link and Leigh were now able to get back into the Overworld.
Saria: Well, I guess that's that.
Zelda: I'll teleport us out of here.
Using the Triforce's powers, Zelda brought everyone back to Hyrule Castle safely.
Back at Death Mountain, An enraged Ganon was trapped within the Evil Jar. He vowed to get Link next time.
Ganon: AARRGGHH!! I'll get you next time, Link! Just you wait! I'LL GET YOU YET!
Unluckily, for Ganon, Dark Link and Evil Zelda were in the middle of an arguement, and were interrupted by their own master.
Dark Link: HEY! Will you quiet down?! We're fighting, here!
Evil Zelda: YEAH! Lower your voice, alright?! We're busy!
Ganon: (groans) I knew I shouldn't have got out of bed this morning.
Back at Hyrule Castle, the time has come for Link and Zelda to say goodbye to their new friends.
Link: Are you sure you can't stay, Leigh?
Leigh: Yes, Link. I'm sorry I can't stay, but my people need me back in Arcadia. I have to go to them. (turns to Zelda) I'll see you around, Zelda. And thanks.
Zelda: Don't mention it.
Leigh: Later, everyone.
As Leigh departed for Arcadia, it was now time for the three Sages to return to the Sacred Realm.
Saria: It was good to fight by your side, my friends. But now, we have to return to the Sacred Realm, where we belong.
Impa the Sage: Yes. Our mission has been completed. Now, we must depart.
Nabooru: Farewell, my friends. We Sages will always remember you.
Zelda: Goodbye, Saria, Impa of the Sheikah and Nabooru...and thanks.
Link: Yeah. See you guys later. (turns to Saria) And Saria?
Link: Say hello to Kylara for me, please Saria?
Saria: I will, Link. I will. Farewell.
With those last goodbyes, the three Sages returned to the Sacred Realm in Green, purple and orange lights. Now that Link and Zelda were alone, they could share a kiss.
Link: Now can you kiss me, Zelda?
Zelda: Oh, alright. But don't expect it too often.
But, just as they were about to kiss, Leigh tripped Link up with a magic spell, as a parting gift.
Leigh: Hee hee hee. Just thought I'd give you a little gift, Link.
Link: Aw, man! THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS!
Zelda. who saw what Leigh did, laughed at the fallen Link.
Zelda: (laughs) Some things never change.
And, as Leigh left, Everything was normal once more in Hyrule. But when Ganon strikes again, whenever darkness comes, Zelda and Link will always be there to face whatever challenges are ahead.
Back to Story Menu