Summary: Link_fan and I thought that our favorite tv character, Cheeze from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends and our favorite video game character, Link, to get to know each other. Enjoy!Warning: Don't drink anything while you read this. You will be spraying it all over your computer. Enjoy!
*A peaceful night in Hyrule...or is it?*
Link: *snoring and talking in his sleep* Today isssss applesaaauuccccce day. Sea-monkey took my mmmmooooooneeeeey. *huge snore* Yes, this tunic is a naaatuuurrrral greeeeeen...
Link: *like a girl* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!
Link: My wife is a mutated freak!
Zelda: *wakes up and slaps him really hard across the face* LINK!!!
Link: If you're there...and I'm here... *points to other side of bed* then who is that?
Link and Zelda: Ooookay....
*Cheeze walks off*
Link: Oh thank Din.
*Cheeze comes back with tons of make-up on*
Cheeze: Cheeze pretty. Pretty Cheeze!
Zelda: Link, do something!
Link: I don't even know where he came from!
*a short pause*
Zelda and Link: Ganondorf!
Cheeze: Who's dat?
*Grabs Cheeze and gets on Epona and gallops to Ganon's castle. Remind you it's still 3 in the morning*
*A note stuck to door by a knife that says, "On official 'evil' business. Be back in about 3 hours. And if you're reading this, Link, get lost!*
*Bang Bang Bang goes the door*
Link: Ganondork! I know you're in there! Let me in!
*a female gerudo answers door*
Gerudo: *yawn* Hello? Link!?
Link: I know he's in there! Let me atem!
Gerudo: WHY!?! It's 3 in the morning!
Cheeze: Pretty lady.
Gerudo: Ah! What is that?
Link: You tell me! I know Ganondork has something to do with this!
Gerudo: Probably just one of his experiments gotten loose. Go away.
Link: How could he be even smart enough to come up with this!? *points to Cheeze* I mean come on! Ganondork can't even zip up his own fly!
Gerudo: Good point.
Ganondorf: *stomps up, wearing a pink bathrobe with yellow horses all over it and a matching cap and a fluffy teddy bear* What are you doing here? Do you want to knock down my tenth castle?
Link: *looks down at boots* Well, actually it's the eleventh but...*looks up* What the... I didn't know you were... never mind! Who is this?!?
Ganondorf: *looks down* Dunno. Maybe he's your better looking twin brother.
Link: *sarcastically* Hahaha. At least I don't sleep with a bwabwa...or wear a pink horsy bathrobe.
Ganondorf: That's all they had in my size...and it was on sale.
Link: Oh I'm sure! What are you, 15 plus?
Ganondorf: You calling me fat?
Ganonodorf: *puts hand on forehead* Look, I've never seen anything like that!
Link: Yeah! And Zelda is pregnant!
Link: NO! I'm pregnant!
Link: No! Ruto is my wife.
Ganondorf: Wait... are you calling me a liar!?!
Link: I ain't calling you a truther!
Ganondorf: That's it!
*they get into a fight like 5 year olds, until Nabooru comes out*
Nabooru: What is going on out here?!?
Ganondorf: *grabbing onto Link's hair* Uhh..
Link: *has a hold of Ganondorf's shirt* Well...
Ganondorf: I was about to pull his hair out.
Link: And I was about to slug him in the chest.
Nabooru: What time is it?
Link: Oh I know! *pulls out his ocarina* I can find out what time it is without even looking at a sun dial! *starts playing a really high note*
*all the windows in Ganondorf's castle shatter and from far in the distance and boot comes flying and hit Ganondorf in the head*
Far off voice: SHUT UP! IT'S 3:3O IN THE MORNIN!!!!!
Link: There you happy?
Ganondorf: NO! *squeezing Link's neck*
Link: *pointing to windows* I hope those had a warranty.
Ganondorf: They didn't!
Link: Maybe I wouldn't have done it if you would have put me down!
*Ganondorf drops him*
Link: GEEZ! If you're going to drop me from 6 feet up, give me a warning first!
Cheeze: I like the fair.
Link: I dunno where you came from...
Ganondorf: And I don't know where you're going...
Nabooru: And I have no idea what you are...
Other Gerudo: But please...
All: GO HOME!!!
Cheeze: *sucks in thru teeth* Okay.
(Five minutes pass)
Nabooru: He's still here...
Link: Well, I know one thing...
(Ganondorf and Link, at the same time)
Both: HE'S GOING WITH YOU! *point to each other* NO, YOU!! I'M NOT TAKING HIM!
Link: Let's settle this like men!
Nabooru: Oh, Din. Here we go...
Both: ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS...
Ganondorf: *loses* Shoot!
Ganondorf: Best two out of three...
Both: ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS...
Ganondorf *notices something* Hey, you've got the lens of truth! No fair!
*Link eventually loses*
Link: Aww! Fart Ruto!
Ganondorf: What's a fart Ruto?
Link: Do you own a mirror?
Nabooru: This could turn into a wrestling match.
Link: Good idea!
*Link and Ganondorf start wrestling.*
Nabooru: Why do I even bother?
*Later at Hyrule castle*
Cheeze: *looking at a painting* Ohh... *tries to touch it*
Cheeze: Ahh...*tries to touch another painting*
Link: NO!!! BAD CHEEZE!! *Grabs Cheeze's hand*
Cheeze: Da, da, da dum...*wedding march music...*
Link: Yikes! *Lets go* great, now I've got to boil my hand...it's infected! What should I do with you? Like I always say, if someone is always happy, you have to make their life miserable...*hollering down hall* IMPA!
Impa: What? For pity's sake, it's early! Leave me alone!
Link: I think you're forgetting who I am...
Impa: A self-centered moron...Link: I'm not self centered! I'm married! THAT PROVES TO EVERYONE I'M A MORON! Wait...anyway...I'm not just a moron...I'm...come on, say it...
Impa: *mutters* king.
Link: I can't hear you...
Link: Thank you...now, he's your problem! I suggest giving him cereal...
Cheeze: I like cereal...
Impa: Oh...I'm not sure about this...
Link: Hey, you were able to deal with Zelda. This should be a day at the beach!
*in the kitchen*
Impa: I think you know what you're looking for, so why don't you just get it?
Cheeze: WHERE IS THE CEREAL?!?!?!?!
Impa: In the cabinet...
Cheeze: *looking in cabinet* No it's not...
Impa: Well, I guess we're out.
Cheeze: But lady, you said! You said, lady!
Impa: Ugh! I'll look in the pantry.
Impa: Right... upupupup... here! *pulls out a box of cereal* Here ya...
*Cheeze empties the box in 2 seconds*
Cheeze: I like Chocolate milk.
Impa: Oh gracious.
*after walking all the way up to Lon-Lon ranch to milk the cow and then add chocolate to it, Impa finds out that Cheeze is lactose intolerant*
Cheeze: OWOWOWOWOW!!! Stomach hurt!
Impa: I should have left him at Lon-Lon...Ranch. That's it!
*Later that night*
Impa: This is your new home.
Cheeze: I like the fair!
Impa: Yes...yes! This is the fair!
Impa: Bye. *runs away*
Cheeze: Ba ba black sheep... *makes shooting noises with his mouth* Sheep? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Malon: *waking up* Epona! Did you come down here and step on the cuccos again... hello? Can I help you?
Cheeze: You? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Malon: Stop screaming. Uh... *singing* Rock-a-bye baby, on the tree tops, when the wind blows the cradle will rock...
*Cheeze starts to calm down*
Malon: When the bow breaks, the cradle will fall...
Ingo: *walking out with a candle and rubbing his eyes* Would you shut that...thing up!?!
Malon: You try!
Ingo: Oh fine! Patty cake patty cake...
Cheeze: *really high voice* Cake! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
Malon: *covering her ears* He's going to wake father up!
Talon: *coming out* Too late.
Talon: What is that?
Ingo: I dunno, but it won't shut up! Like Malon when she got chased by the cuccos for the first time.
Malon: I was five! Cut me some slack.
Cheeze: Slack? AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
Talon: Maybe we should stop talking?
Cheeze: Hi doggies! *petting a cucco*
Malon: Well that seemed to work.
Ingo: He's flat!
Malon: Oh yea, he is.
Talon: He's your pet, Malon.
Malon: Since when?
Talon and Ingo: NOT IT!!!!!!!
Malon: I hate when you do that! Oh fine I'll be the mature one. What's your name little fella?
Malon: Oh...all righty then...Cheeze. You stay with the 'doggies' okay?
Talon: *about to leave for Hyrule castle* Don't let the cuccos peck Cheeze to death.
Malon: *mimicking* Don't let the cuccos peck Cheeze to death. He didn't say anything about mortally wound him... Oh, Cheeze!
Malon: Why don't you go play with the cuccos. They love it when you step on them.
Cheeze: *sucks in through teeth* Okay!
*the cuccos are carrying him across the ranch*
Cheeze: AHHH! Jiggily!
*Splash! The cuccos drop him into the water troth, but not before pecking him a whole bunch of times!*
Cheeze: Lady you said! You said they would like it!
Malon: Oh brother.
Malon: Ah... so peaceful. *Starts singing Epona's song"
Cheeze: *starts running around and chanting* YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!! PUT THE PICKLE IN THE CAR, PUT THE RELISH IN THE JAR!!!!!!!
*Malon goes up to a pole and starts banging her head against it*
Cheeze: *Bangs his head too* I lihike this gahahame!
*Epona trots up and kicks him all the way to Zora's domain*
*Link is in Zora's Domain, buying fish. And along come Cheeze*
Link: *Looks up to see the Cheezer flying into Ruto's room* Oh no.
*in Ruto's room*
Cheeze: I like the fair.
Ruto: Would you just shut up!
Link: *leaning in the door way* Now you know how we feel.
Cheeze: Hi kitty.
Ruto: What the Jub-Jub is a kitty?
Link: *sarcastically* How dare you take your "god's" name in vain.
Ruto: Shut up, you two timed, two eyed, son of a...
Cheeze: *while Ruto is throwing cuss words at Link* Beep bop boop! Beep boob bop, beep beep, bop booooop! Beep bop boop...
Ruto: And Zelda is a...
Cheeze: *really high* BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! *sticks tongue out and sighs* Paaaaaah!
*Ruto and Link look down at Cheeze*
Link and Ruto: CHEEZE, GO HOME!!!!!
Cheeze: *sucks through teeth* Okay! *walks off*
Link: I'm actually thankful Cheeze was here 'cause I didn't hear a word you just said!
Ruto: Than allow me to repeat myself. *takes a deep breath* YOU...*in
* Goron City
Link of the Gorons: Here's some candy! *hands Cheeze a rock*
Cheeze: I like candy. *sucks on rock for a few seconds* Candy broken. *tosses it behind his shoulder and it hits Link of the Gorons and knocks him out*
Darunia: What in the world is that?
Cheeze: I like chocolate milk.
Darunia: Okay.... *puts dirt into a cup and pours water into it making it look like chocolate milk* Here ya go.
Cheeze: *snatches cup from Darunia* I like chocolate milk. *slurps a huge mouthful and then sprays it into Darunia's face* CHOCOLATE MILK BROKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Cheeze unleashes an ear piercing screech*
Darunia: *covering ears* Shhhhhhh. *sings* Rock a bye Goron on the mountain. When it explodes...
Cheeze: ExpLODES! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!
Darunia: Ahoy! Link! Get down here and help me.
Link: He's following me I tell you!
Darunia: Then you know what to do?
Link: Hehe *nervous laugh* DUH! Why would I not know?
Darunia: Well it's not an octorock.
Link: *sighs* Cheeze! *whistles*
Cheeze: LICOLN!!!! *runs and jumps on him*
Darunia: What did he just call you?
Link: My full name...Darunia: *starts smirking* Full name? Lincoln? WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
*a boom of laughter can be heard all the way to the castle. And it is so strong, it blows Cheeze away.
Cheeze: I like Chocolate... *voice trails off*
Link: *sticking his feet out* I've got iron boots!
Darunia: *still laughing*
Link: Darunia!!!!!! *throws a Deku nut at him*
Darunia: *feels the pop on his butt* YOW!!!!!!!!!!
Link: Don't blow the whole mountain away!
Darunia: What ever.
*in Kokori forest*
Mido: It's the apocalypse! Flat objects falling from the sky and yelling "milk"!!!!!!
Know-it-all brother 1: It's a sign!!
Twin 1: Quick! Go get Link's cow!!!
Cheeze: *finally landing on top of Mido* Cow? AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Saria: What is going on out here?
Mido: You tell me!
Saria: I thought your cousin was coming next week.
Mido: I may have been raised by a tree, but I'm not that stupid...or gullible.
K-i-a brother 2: What do we do with him?
Twin 2: Feed him to the Morblins in the lost forest?
Saria: No, let's save that for Mido.
K-i-a brother 3: Stuff him into that soft patch of dirt behind my house? Maybe when the magic plant grows it'll take that thing with it.
Link: *coming to see Saria* Hey Saria, do you have any..... Oh no...
Mido: You know this thing?
Link: Unfortunately yes.
All but Link: *give one smirk and then* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link: May I remind you that I'm the one who saved your never growing butts from Gohma?
All but L.: *everybody looks down* No...
Link: Good. Now, He's your problem! *leaves*
Mido: I have feeling we aren't the first ones this thing visited.
Saria: Why's that?
Mido: 'Cause he has a hoof mark on his head, has rocks wedged in his teeth has a bit of makeup on, and he smells like fish.
Twin 2: To the top of the Deku tree!
*on top of the Deku tree*
Mido: Catapult ready?
K-i-a brother: Yup.
Mido: Bad omen ready?
Twin 1: The bad, yellow omen is secured.
Mido: Where do we aim this fella?
Twin 2: *rubbing her hands together mischievously* Gerudo Fortress.
Mido: On five. One, two...Five!!!!!!!!!
*they release the catapult (I think this was the first commercial air flight) and Cheeze flies all the way to Gerudo Fortress. Da da da dum!*
Cheeze: Hi lady hi! *flying over a Gerudo thief* Bye lady bye!
Gerudo thief: Get him!
*Cheeze lands and they immediately throw him into the Gerudo Fortress tower...and guess who's there too*
Link: What did I do to deserve this Farore? What did I do?
Cheeze: Hhhhi! Blah blah blah dancing around! Blah blah blah...
Link: *throws a Deku nut at him and stuns him* Don't do that! *takes out his fairy bow and ties Cheeze to an arrow* FORE!!!!!
*Link releases the arrow and Cheeze along with it*
Cheeze: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *Hits ground* YEEESSSS!! DO IT AGAIN, DO IT AGAIN, DO IT...
Nabooru: (In Desert Colossus) You again? (Mutters) Wow, the goddesses must be mad today!
Cheeze: GODDESSES? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Nabooru: WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP?
Cheeze: SHUT UP? AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
Nabooru: Why you little....
Cheeze: Why you little....
Nabooru: Stop copying me!
Cheeze: Stop copying me!
Nabooru: THAT IS IT!
Cheeze: THAT IS IT!!!
*Takes him to top of temple and tries to throw him AFAP...as far as possible, that is...*
Nabooru: LET GO!
Cheeze: AHHH! AHH! AHHH! AHH! AHHH!
(Screams every time Nabooru tries to yank him off)
Nabooru: *Finally gets rid of him* And don't come back!
*in the Goddess' dwelling*
Nayru: What a lovely day isn't it?
Din: I'm just glad I'm not one of those losers that that thing keeps ending up to.
Farore: Losers? Din! I'm surprised at you.
Nayru: *going all hippie* Yeah. Like the world is a delicate blossom, just about to bloom. It has not yet fully reached its peak in its primitive state.
Din: What are they, cave men?
Farore: I think Nayru is trying to say that they haven't invented electricity or any type of mechanical devices.
Cheeze: *walking into the room reading Din's diary out loud* Ahem! Dear Diary, I really wish the Mother goddess hadn't named me Dinial. I'm not like destined to be a true goddess or anything, am I? Oh well.
*Cheeze closes the diary. Din is as red as Death Mountain's crater and Farore an Nayru are jaw dropped and speechless for a moment*
Farore: *covering her mouth* Hehehe...
Nayru: *trying not to laugh* Hmm hmm hmm.
Farore and Nayru: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Din: What's so funny?
Farore: You didn't know you were a goddess?
Nayru: Hehe. You have a diary?
Both: Your name is Dinial?
*they both burst out laughing again as Din stomps over to Cheeze*
Farore and Nayru: *stop laughing* NO!
Cheeze: Fall... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nayru: What was that for?
Din: It's for you!
Farore: Din! Why did you do that? Now he'll never shut up! Nayru, do something!
Nayru: Why me?
Farore: You're the goddess of wisdom! Think of something!
Nayru: You're the goddess of courage! Dive in and shut him up!
Farore: Din is the goddess of power. She should force him to shut up!
Din: Oh fine.
*Din waves her hand and a zipper appears over Cheeze's mouth*
All: Whew! *fall back on couches*
Nayru: Why the mother goddess named you that I will never know.
Din: I'll take out the trash. *kicks Cheeze through some clouds*
*at Ganondorf's castle doors*
Ganondorf: *answering the door* I told you, we're not buying any more tooth paste!!! *looks down at Cheeze* Oh no...
*Cheeze's zipper unzips*
Cheeze: No...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cheeze: End... AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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