Ganondorf's Christmas Carol

By Ben Fuller


Play Characters:

 

Navi ††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††(The Narrator)

Ganondorf †††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††(Mr. Scrooge)

Link †††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††(Bob Cratchit)

Mido ††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††(Tiny Tim)

Talon††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††† (Jacob Marley)

Zelda †††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††(Mrs. Cratchet)

Nabooroo ††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††(Belle)

Shiek †††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††(Peter Cratchit)

Malon ††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††(Martha Cratchit)

Mailman & The Windmill dude††††††††††††††††††††††††† (The Portly Gentlemen)

The Great Fairy, Twilight Princess Version†† (The Ghost of Christmas Past)

The King of Hyrule††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††† (The Ghost of Christmas Present)

Majora††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††(The Ghost of Christmas Future)

The Happy Mask Sales Man††††††††††††††††††† †††††††††††††††††††(Fezziwig)

Cremia†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††† ††††††††††††††(Fan)

Ingo†††††††††† ††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††(Fred)

Impa††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††† ††††††††††††††††††††††††††††(Teen Ganonís School teacher)

†††††††† ___________________________________________________________

 

 

Navi: We see the grumpy and greedy, GanondorfÖ.

 

Ganon: (Threateningly) Hey! I am not grumpy, just greedy. Are we clear?

 

Navi: Ok ok! Sheesh! Anyway, we see the ĎGREEDYí Ganondorf in his office on the eve of Christmas with Link in the Hyrule Castle town square. Letís go over and see what they are doing. (Goes towards a window, and looks inside)

 

Ganon: Link! We need those reports in by tomorrow!

 

Link: But, sirÖtomorrowís Christmas. We canít go working on Christmas! Itís called FAMILY TIME? Ever heard of it?

 

Ganon: Bahumbug on Christmas, the only family I have is a bunch of warrior sisters, now get back to work! Or Iíll use the tri-force on you!

 

Link: No sir! Not the tri-force! Anything but that!

 

Ganon: Yes- (Gets interrupted by knocks at the door, bang his fist on his desk) Get that, now!!

 

Link: Y-Yes S-Sir

 

Link: (Opens the door to find the Mailman and The Windmill Dude outside it, and lets them in.) What can I do for you sirs?


Mailman and Windmill dude (Both carrying cups for cash): We have come here in hopes of collecting contributions for the poor & needy.

 

Ganon: No, you canít have my money! Now go away!

 

Mailman: But, Mr. Ganondorf, sir, we just need a green rupees worth, just for the poor sir!

 

Ganon (points to the door): I canít have anymore interferences with outside folk. Now go away, or Iíll blast you out! (Holds out his fist and shows the tri-force beaming within it.)

 

Windmill dude: Oh sir! You are a corrupted man! A cruel and greedy man, what have you done to corrupt your self!

 

Ganon: Five!

 

Mailman: I think we should get out of here!

 

Ganon: Four!

 

Link (Shoos them out of the door): Ganon! What did you do that for?

 

Ganon: Because, I have the money and I have the power. (Does an evil laugh)

 

Navi: Wow! I have never seen such an evil man. Well, we should come back in a few hours to check up on poor Link.

 

A few hours laterÖLink was writing like mad. Ganon had been counting his money; and all seems fine untilÖ.

 

Ganon: Link!

 

Link: Y-yes sir?

 

Ganon: Its getting late why donít you go home.

 

Link: Really, I mean ok! Thank you! Thank you!

 

Ganon: (Smirks)

 

 

Navi (Flies up to Ganons Bedroom window and Whispers): We now see Ganon, with his nightgown on; in his room sitting in his arm chair with his legs up, fireplace all set and then he smiles. Shh! He is going to talk.

 

Ganon: Ah, what a fine day at work! I should have been nicer to the beggars. Oh well!

 

Ganondorf all the sudden hears shackles clinging, his grandfather clock dinging and he doesnít know whatís happening. Then, a ghost appears in his stairwell.

 

Talon (in a ghostly voice): Ganondorf!

 

Ganon (all scared): Wha-what do you want from me, you-you ghost!

 

Talon (in a ghostly voice): You donít even recognize me, your old business partner?!

 

Ganon: Talon? Talon, is that you?

 

Talon (in a ghostly voice): Yes, I have a message for you! You will be visited by three spirits tonight!

 

Ganon: What? What are these spirits you speak of? Answer me now, or youíll get the power of the tri-force stuck in your transparent body!

 

Talon: I canít tell you!

 

Ganon: Five!

 

Talon: You were and still are, a horrible man!

 

Ganon: Four!

 

Talon: I am going to leave you this! Ganon, you will be visited by the first spirit at 7:00pm.

 

Ganon: Three!

 

Talon: Then, at 8:00pm, you are going to be visited by the second spirit.

 

Ganon: TWO!

 

Talon (talking really fast): After that spirit goes away, you are going to be visited by the third spirit! Goodbye! (Disappears in the stairwell)

 

Ganon: All that counting for nothing and I almost got to destroy somebody. Hmph! I wonder what he meant by the three spirits. (He looks at the clock) Wow! 11:00! I need to go to bed! Canít wait to fire Link tomorrow, tee hee!

Navi (Looking at the audience): Then, at midnight something strange is going to happen, this night is going to change Ganonís life forever! His first spirit, the ghost of Christmas past. (Flies to Ganonís bedroom window) Ganon is now lying sound asleep with his teddy untilÖ

 

 

Grandfather clock Dings, wakes Ganondorf

 

Ganon: Wha-Whatís happening! Oh no! I forgot the first spirit comes now! (Grabs his sword)

 

(Great fairy music comes on)

 

Great Fairy (with a sweatshirt on, and pants): Well, since you are awake, letís get going!

 

Ganon (points his sword at her, with teddy at hand): Who are you?

 

Great Fairy: I am the ghost of Christmas Past.

 

Ganon (points his sword down): Ghost of what?

 

Great Fairy: Christmas Past!! Has Talon visited you earlier??

 

Ganon: Oh! That ghost was supposed to tell me the names of my visitors?

 

Great Fairy (Smacks her forehead and sighs): Yes, he was SUPPOSED to tell you them! But that numbskullÖ..never mind that, let us get this show on the road.

 

Ganon: What show?

 

Great Fairy: I am going to show you your past Christmas when you were a loving, young teenager. Come on! Grab my shoulders and letís go!

 

Navi: Oh man! I better go with them! (Goes into Ganonís rupee pouch)

 

(Ganon does as he is ordered)

 

Great Fairy: LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

(A bright light appears and a few seconds later, they appear in Ganonís childhood, in the Kakariko Village where he saw a smaller version of himself going to school with Link)

 

Ganon: Hey! I remember this school! (Runs toward the window of the school looks in it)

 

Impa:Welcome Class! Today, we are going to start learning what the goddesses are today

Teenage Ganon (thinking to himself while looking at Nabooroo): I think I found my Goddess!

 

Teenage Nabooroo(thinking to her self while looking at Ganon): Why is he looking at me? That kid does not know what he is doingÖ

 

Impa: NABOOROO!

 

Teenage Nabooroo (Talking really fast): The proper way to use a bow is!

 

Impa (turns her back to Nabooroo to the chalk board): Who is the goddess of courage?

 

Teenage Nabooroo: Nayru!

 

Impa: Wrong! Youíve got to pay attention! We are going to have a test on this next week; it is Farore, Next question.

 

(Bell Rings, The Great Fairy, Ganon and Navi are looking at Teenage Ganon & Nabooroo)

 

Teenage Ganon (Approaches Nabooroo Holds both of her hands): NaboorooÖI have always wanted to say this, but, Naboo, I love you!

 

Teenage Nabooroo: Oh Ganon, you are too sweet butÖ (Breaks into a ten minute romantic song, with Teen Ganon, and Ganondorf all singing at the same time.)

 

Teen Ganon: Wait, so you are breaking up with me?

 

Teen Nabooroo: Yes Ganon, you have been consumed by the power and lust over the tri-force and greed. I canít have a husband like you to be married to who is overpowered with greed. Ganon, I am seeing another person. (Goes into tears) now goodbye! (Kisses him and runs off crying.)

 

Navi: Adult Ganon now breaks into tears, and kneels down with his hands covering his eyes. The Great Fairy goes over to Ganon and comforts him.

 

Great fairy: Its ok Ganon. Shhh, shhhh. Holdís Ganonís head and puts it on her lap.

 

Ganon: Great Fairy, why have you shown me this? Why? (Still tearing)

 

Great Fairy: (Still holding his head on her lap, and looks down) Because Ganon, I wanted you to know what you were like when you were younger, here is another person that mattered in your whole life as a teen. (Points to a merchantís place)

 

The Happy Mask Sales Man: Oh hohohhoho! (salesman theme music comes on) Good work Ganon! At this rate you will be a successful business man like me!

 

Teen Ganon: But who is going to own the business when you retire?

 

THMSM: You are! I trust you that much! I have taught you everything I know about greed and what good it can do to take all the time out of your life!

 

Teen Ganon: Well I donít like greed! It will just make me into a horrible man when I am older.

 

THMSM: hohoho! That is not true young one! See how I am now? I am as happy as can be! Do you know why I am so successful?

 

Teen Ganon: Why?

 

THMSM: Because, I am kind and I am not selfish with my money. I give it out to the poor if I have too much of what I donít need.

 

Teen Ganon: Why would you want to share? Sharing is so stupid!

 

THMSM: Oh Ganon, you need to share! Sharing is what makes the world go around! You wonít be as happy as me when you grow older, why? Because you wonít have as many friends; and you wonít be loved or cared for.

 

(A bright flash appears and now Navi, Ganon, and the Great Fairy flashed into Ganonís old, cold bedroom. Ganon and the Great Fairy get up off of the wood and just stood there.)

 

Ganon: Why have you shown me this tonight?

 

The Great Fairy: Youíll figure it out all in the end, Ganon, youíll figure it out. Now the next spirit; is the ghost of Christmas present. Goodbye Ganon! (Waves and disappears in a bright light.

 

(At 8:00pm, Ganon heard some strange, jolly noises coming from his kitchen.)

 

Ganon (Whispering): An intruder! Oh, he is going to get it! (Grabs sword from under his bed and ever so slowly, crept towards the kitchen downstairs from his bedroom)

The King of Hyrule (stuffing his face with Ganonís food from his cabinet):

Hohohoho! How are you Ganon? Iíve seen you just barely when you crept all the way down here to see me!

 

Ganon (Smiles): Itís an honor to be in the presence of the king (Bows)

 

The King of Hyrule: Now rise! Do you know why I am here with you tonight? Because, I am going to show you what you are like now and how Linkís family is doing.

Ganon: Why do I care about Linkís family!?

 

The King of Hyrule (Finishing a leg off of a chicken that Ganon had yesterday evening): You should care! Here let me show you why. (Snaps his fingers and then, they are immediately outside Linkís house.)

 

Navi: Well, I donít know why the King of Hyrule is showing Ganon this, but letís just watch and see how it goes with this one.

 

Ganon: Hey! That is Link with his wife Zelda! And who is that kid on a crutch?

 

The King of Hyrule: That kid, Ganon, is Mido. He has a leg injury that Link canít pay off the doctorís because they canít afford it.

 

Ganon: They are talking! Shhh. Lets listen in.

 

(The King of Hyrule and Ganon both look in the window of Linkís house and both listened)

 

Zelda (setting the table): How was work today sweetie?

 

Link: Oh it was alright (sighs)

 

Zelda: Whatís the matter? Did that horrible Ganondorf do something again to threaten us?

 

Link: Yes, he said if I donít get the business reports in by tomorrow, I am fired!

 

Zelda: Ooooh! That Ganondorf makes me so angry!

 

Link: I know; he makes me angry too.

 

Ganon: That Link I-!

 

The King of Hyrule: Still listen!

 

Mido: What will you do if you get fired?

 

Zelda: Thatís no support from the crippled kid.

 

Link: Mido has a good point, I donít know what Iíll do son.

 

Zelda: (Sets the turkey on the table with a little bowl of corn and peas.)KIDS! Time for dinner!

 

Shiek: Ok! Be right there in a sec

 

Malon: Be right down!

 

Mido: (Trips, gets up and sits by Link) All set for dinner! (Sitting at the table with a smile on his face)

 

(A few seconds later, Malon and Shiek came down and sat by their parents)

 

The King of Hyrule: Now Ganon, see that little boy?

 

Ganon: Yeah, whatís with him?

 

The King of Hyrule: He has a leg injury that Linkís family canít afford for, and he is dying!

 

Ganon: How is he dying?

 

The King of Hyrule: He has a body condition that freezes his body and the body canít digest nutrients as normal bodies can.

 

Ganon: Thatís horrible! IÖ..IÖI have to do something for Linkís family or that poor kid is going to die!

 

The King of Hyrule: The only way to do heal that kid so he can live longer, is give Link a raise and his pay + the raise, tomorrow, and not be selfish.

 

Ganon: No way! I am not going to doÖ..

 

The King of Hyrule (Looks at Ganondorf sharply)

 

Ganon: Oh well, Iíll take it into consideration

 

King of Hyrule: Good, now have you seen enough?

 

Ganon: Yes! Now please, let me go, so the third spirit could visit me and all this could be over with

 

King of Hyrule: Yeah okay, it is almost time for the last spirit to be here.

 

Navi (Whispers): Wow did you see that! Ganondorf finally has a little sympathy thatíll change his life! Now letís follow him and see where this goes on.

 

When all of them were into Ganonís home, the King did his Farewell, and parted without Ganondorf. At 9:00, a thick blanket of fog appears in his bedroom, Ganondorf looked outside and seeing where this mysterious fog is coming from. A tall dark figure, with a black cloak, came out from the graveyard that Ganondorf lived right next to.

Ganondorf looked towards the figure.

 

Ganon: Oh no, not the last ghost, now what was it, ah yes the Ghost of Christmas Future

 

When Ganon turned around to go downstairs to meet the ghostly figure, the Ghost had appeared in front of Ganonís face.

 

Ganon: Uh, (breathing heavily) Hi, Mr. Ghost sir, what have you to show me tonight?

 

Majora (points his index finger to the graveyard)

 

Ganon: WhatÖwhat is at the graveyard? You want me to go to the graveyard with you?

 

Majora (nods and immediately starts walking down Ganonís staircase)

 

Ganon: Y-yes, Iíll follow you then silent one

 

Ganondorf and Majora both went to the graveyard entrance, Majora as strange as he gets, he gets on top of a gravestone, squats, and points to Ganonís unsuspecting grave.

 

Ganon (Turns to Majora): Why have you shown this to me strange one? Why?

 

Majora: (No Answer)

 

Ganon looks at the grave next to his, it says

 

 

1860-1868

 

Here lies Mido; Link and Zeldaís wonderful, crippled child.

He is the most, kindest (and somewhat rude to his father) kid you would ever meet.

 

(Chuckles, and kneels down in front of Midoís grave) Ganon: Oh why did he have to die? I was going to make him vice president of Ganonís Funds

 

Majora: (gets down from the grave and starts walking towards the entrance)

 

Ganon: Wait! Where are you going?

 

Majora (walks down the dark, cold street, to a building with bright lights and laughing)

 

Ganon (following Majora as he stops in front of the building with a lot of people)

 

Link: I think itís sad that Ganondorf passed away and most importantly, Mido

 

Ingo (sipping cider): You know what I think; Ganondorf should have been kinder. And he wouldnít have such a lonely life if he had friends and a wife.

 

Cremia: Yeah, and we should give Mido and Ganondorf the respect that they deserve!

 

Link: Well, I thought of Ganon as a kind man that had some troubles in his life.

 

(Everything stops)

 

Zelda: What are you saying Link? He threatened you your JOB!

 

Link: I know, but I know that some where inside, he had a kind heart. I think I was hired because I thought I couldíve changed his grumpy heart into a kind one.

 

Ganon: Well, you almost had me there on family, Link.

 

Majora: (Raises his finger on where his mouth should be and shushes him, then points to the window)

 

Ganon: (looks)

 

Zelda: Well then, I think we should give recognition to Ganon. A toast, to Linkís boss, for he hade somewhat of a kind heart.

 

Old Happy Mask Salesman: To GANON!

 

All: To Ganon!

 

Ganondorf: (With a tear in his eye, he swept it away with a smile)

 

Majora: (Nods, and goes towards Ganonís house)

 

Ganon: (Goes with Majora)

 

Navi: After Ganondorf and Majora arrive at Ganonís house, Majora left him in a misty fog and Ganon retired to his bed and slept. The next morning, Ganondorf woke up with a smile

 

Ganondorf: What day is it? Iíve got to know! (Pokes his head out the window, sees a little kid and calls to him) You there, little kid! Why arenít you in school?

 

Little kid: Well, today is Christmas sir. All kids get out on Christmas day!

 

Ganondorf (throws a big red rupee)

 

Little kid (catches it gapes open): Wha-whatís this for sir?

Ganondorf: Go down to the butcher shop and find the biggest cuccoo you can find!

 

Little Kid: Are you sure about that?

 

Ganondorf: Yes I am, now go! We have no time to waste!

 

Little Kid: Ok! You can count on me!

 

Ganondorf (brings his head back in, gets dressed and immediately goes to Linkís house and knocks)

 

A few minutes later, Zelda had opened the door and braces her self.

 

Ganondorf (With a fake serious look on his face): Zelda, could you bring me Link, please?

 

Zelda: Yes hold on. (Looks at him kind of strange)

 

Link (gulps):Y-Yes S-sir?

 

Ganon: Why werenít you at work today?

 

Link: Iím sorry that I couldnít come in. I truly am!

 

Ganon: LinkÖÖÖÖÖ..

 

Link: (stares at him with a worried expression that he is going to get fired)

 

Ganon: You areÖ..going to get a raise plus your pay today.

 

Link: (Grabs Ganonís cloak) NOOOOOOOOOO! What was that?

 

Ganon: You are going to get paid and a huge raise!

 

Link: Are you serious?!? (Letís go of Ganonís clothing and has an excited look on his face)

 

Ganon: Yeah I am, and you are invited to my feast that I am going to have tonight!

 

Zelda: Should we bring anything?

 

Ganon: No, I will be providing everything

 

Zelda: Ok!

 

Ganon: Now let me go, I have other business to do.

 

Link: Okay, see you tonight!

 

Ganon: Good day!

 

Link: Good day to you too Ganon!

 

Ganon: Donít push it.

 

(Link closes the door and the little kid, carrying a pan with the uncooked cucoo, panting)

 

Little kid: huffÖhuffÖGanonÖ.IÖ.Got the Cucoo you wanted!

 

Ganon: Good! Come to my house and we can set it up.

 

Little kid: Okay dokay!

 

Navi: Well, Ganondorf had a lovely feast which, miraculously, everyone came to. In the end, Ganondorf got married to Nabooroo, and Mido got his leg fixed and Link became vice president of Ganonís funds. With that said, I hope you have a very, merry Christmas, and may the Lord bless you this year. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

 

Mido: God blesses everyone!

 

 

 

THE END!!



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