1, 2, Three Questions

By Kat Schleck

Link dies and goes to heaven. The pearly gates are closed, however, he has his first meeting with the three goddesses. Din, Nayru and Farore. “Hi Link!” says all. Din begins to speak,

“It is now our policy to administer an entrance examination before you can get to heaven.”

“No one ever told me about any of this before. I hope it ain’t to hard, life was a big enough test as it was…

Are gonna tell me?” asked Link

“The test we have for you are only three questions.....

Name the days of the week that begin with the letter ‘T’.

How many seconds are there in a year? And…

What is God’s first name?” says Farore. Nayru has her say.

“Go away and think the questions over, the come back when you think you have the answers.”

Link goes away goes away to think about it. He returns the next day. Din waves him up and says,

“Now that you’ve thought about it tell us your answers.”

“Well, the first one, how many seconds in a year? That one’s easy! That’d be Today and Tomorrow.”

answers Link. “Link that was not what I had in mind but, I guess I’ll give you credit for that answer.” says Din.

Nayru asks her question,” Now Link, onto the second question. How many seconds in a year?”

 “That one was a bit hard. But I thunk and I thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.” says Link. Nayru screeched, “TWELVE!! TWELVE!!! How in heaven’s name did you come up with twelve!?”

Link stood and said, “Well there’s gotta be twelve. January second, February second, March second………”

“Hang on a second!” Nayru interrupted. “I see where your going with it, so, I’ll give you credit for that answer too.” says Nayru. Farore awaits her answer anxiously.

“Link…Link…Link…” Farore says breathing heavily. You could always tell when she was nervous because she always wore a lot of makeup. “Hurry up angel, I gotta get into heaven.” says Link.

“Who says you’re going to heaven?” asks Farore. Link answers,

“Says me! Ask me your question!”

“Alright Link. What is God’s first name?” asked Farore.

“I know God’s first name. Everyone probably knows it. It’s Howard!” says Link.

“Why do you think it’s Howard?” says Farore.

“It’s in the prayer.”

“Prayer? Which prayer?”

“The lords prayer.” Link answers, “To our Father, who art in Heaven, Howard be thy name…” 

The End

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