email: NoMan 'at' sbcglobal.net

 

This is intended to be a radio program based on the videogame series The Legend of Zelda.  The presentation is set up so that we hear the ambient sounds as the characters speak, as they perform actions, or when the narrator is speaking.  The story is original, but is intended to contain almost every cliché that exists in the series.  This was written shortly after Oracle of Ages and Oracle of Seasons was released and has been unmodified from its original version except to convert it into HTML from MS Word.

 

NOTABLE CHARACTERS:

 

Rinku:              (Male)  Rinku is a mercenary and the narrator of this epic quest.  As the narrator, he is much older and has gained a good perspective of the adventure he once had.  Rinku, in his youth (played by a different actor), is running headfirst into a quest he doesn’t understand, but is quickly learning.

Zelda:              (Female)  She is the Princess of Hyrule.  Worrying what is best for her kingdom and for others, she is willing to put even her own life on the line to do what is right.  But due to political restraints, she secretly has Rinku do her bidding.

Leon:               (Male)  Leon is the Captain of the Guards of Hyrule and a descendant of the heroic Knights.  He is also rumored not only to be the descendant of the Legendary Hero of Hyrule, but also to actually be the Hero incarnate.  Like Zelda, Leon was born with the kingdom crest on the back of his hand.

Tingle:             (Female)  Tingle is a forest fairy who follows Rinku around.  She is always happy and will give Rinku a lead to follow.  However, because nobody believes in fairies anymore, she can not be seen or heard.

King:                The stern ruler of everything.  After he was rescued from a hostage situation, he became overly protective of the Triforce until it disappeared.  He is important, but rarely seen.

 

 

OTHER CHARACTERS

 

Bridge-Man (M), Man 1 (M), Man 2 (M), Woman 1, Woman 2 (F), Great Fairy (F), Ghostly Man(M), Dead Hand (?), Guard A (M), Guard B (M), Guard C (M), Tipsy (M), Turvey (F), Fake Rinku (M), Diplomat (?), Carock (M), Guard 1(M), Guard 2 (M), Guard 3 (M), Piaba (M), Jonesi(M), Demon (?), Triforce (F), Woman (F).

 

CHAPTER ONE

 

(The wind blows as footsteps are heard.  It is night.)

Rinku:              (A bit fatigued.)  Is that it up ahead?  I sure could use the rest from this bitter cold.

Tingle:             We’re there at last.  Saria Town.  Bid the mountains good-bye.

Rinku:              Good riddance.

(Walks some more until a voice hollers out.)

Bridge-Man:     Who goes there?  What business do you have in The Republic of North Hyrule?

Rinku:              My name is . . . unimportant.  I seek refuge from the night and the ice.

Bridge-Man:     And what guarantee do we have that you are not a spy from the Kingdom of Southern Hyrule?

Rinku:              (Long pause.)  Uh, I suppose that you don’t.

Bridge-Man:     (Thinks long and hard.)  You may enter, but don’t try anything.  (Bridge lowers and Rinku crosses.)

(Wind sound slowly fades out as Narrator speaks.)

 

Narrator:          As I entered the large stone citadel that hid Saria town from the attacks waged on it by the creatures of Death Mountain and Southern Hyrule, I knew that a new chapter of my journey was beginning.  I had lived to see more than my prophetic dreams told me, I was on my own.

                        According to Tingle...

 

Tingle:             Saria Town used to be a happy town on the river.  Legends say that when recovering the Triforce of Courage, the adventurer Link stopped by and helped the people here.  Known for its beauty, arts, architecture, and inspiration to the literary legends, this city was destined to be the next Venice!

 

Narrator:          But now I beheld the town as I finally crossed the heavy wooden bridge.  Scarred walls protected the muddy huts, militaristic soldiers and mercenaries fought in the streets, the citadel was designed to ward off all who tried to enter, and despair clung to the sinking sanctuary.  Perhaps I wouldn’t be getting the rest that I needed.

 

(Bar sounds: people are shouting, laughing, crying, angry, but mostly loud.)

Rinku:              It is so nice to finally sit inside a building, regardless of where it is.

Tingle:             Not the friendliest of places.  You don’t suppose that the Hylian Guard will have followed us here?

Rinku:              Only if Leon or anyone else knew that I was still alive.

Tingle:             And do they?

Rinku:              For our sake, and our mission, I pray not!  (Pauses to listen to the people and to reflect.)  So, what happened after . . . you know.

Tingle:             I’d rather not think about it.  I almost lost you that night!  (Pause.)

Rinku:              (Encouraging sound to make her speak.)

Tingle:             (Giving in.)  Well alright.  As you know, I left angry that night.  I felt bad knowing that the wretched Princess was going to break your poor heart, so I went back to find you only to discover that you still had plans to encounter this man on Death Mountain.  By the time I got there and finally found you, (begins to cry, but still holds her composure) you were so badly wounded . . .  Your armor had been destroyed and your body laid on the cold tile as your insides oozed out and began to freeze. . . I was so scared that you would die, (sniffs) so I went to the only one who could help you: the Great Fairy.

Rinku:              The Great Fairy?

(A fight in the background reaches the climax.  Tingle and Rinku pause to look and then return to the conversation.)

Tingle:             (Still emotional, but holds her composure gracefully.)  Yes, the Great Fairy.  She is the Fairy Queen who has not been well since the centuries have passed with nobody believing in her.  This has weakened her, but she was still able to return you from the brink...  (Begins to lose her composure.)

Rinku:              If I look like shit right now, I would hate to have seen what I looked like before.

Tingle:             (Losing it.)  The Great Fairy, whom the ages have betrayed, was more weak than ever after restoring life to your damaged body.  Now she lays on her deathbed.  If ever Hyrule needed a hero to save it, now is the time.

Rinku:              (In disbelief)  Do you believe that I am the hero?  I couldn’t draw the Master Sword, Leon did that; I can’t return to Southern Hyrule where the Princess is; I can’t—

Tingle:             (Interrupts.)  Rinku!!  The Legendary Hero, you may not be, but you are still our only hope!  (In the distance, a crash is heard followed by screams.)  So long as Leon doesn’t find out that you survived, or anyone else for that matter, we still have a good chance of restoring peace to this war-torn—

Rinku:              (Interrupts; alarmed.)  What was that?  (Strains to listen through the noise.)

Tingle:             What was what?

Rinku:              We gotta go.  I think Saria is being attacked.  And in my situation, I can’t afford to be he here if it is.  (Stands up so quickly he knocks his chair over as he scoops up his bag and draws his cloak.)

(A crowd runs by outside screaming.)

Man 1:             (In distance.)  Evacuate the town at once, we’ve been breached!

(Glass shatters and the bar patrons scream.  Beast roars.)

Woman 1:       (Stunned but not scared, as if she’s already accepted the fact that she might be dead in seconds.)  Holy shit, a daria.

Man 2:             (Unlike the woman, he hasn’t accepted death, but fears it; his voice trembles.)  Get back, sweet thing.  I’ll get this rotten sack of puke and teach him a—(screams as an axe cracks into his ribs, the daria hisses happily).

Tingle:             It appears that they are looking for something, you don’t suppose that they know about you..?

Rinku:              I gotta get out of here now!  (Darts for the door across the broken glass and splintered wood.  Daria hisses angrily as Rinku escapes.)

 

(Rinku is outside now as more people scream all at once.  The voice talent can come up with some clips that the people of Saria might yell when being attacked by lyonels and darias—keeping in mid that the town is made up of mostly hardened soldiers, their “for-hire associates,” and human cargo who have only heard about these creatures from childhood bed-time stories.  They are all crowding and shoving, trying to evade the monsters who are murdering and burning the miserable town.  Others are eager to slay the bizarre creatures.)

 

Woman 2:       (Panic.)  The gate is locked!

Man 1:             (Frantic.)  We’re trapped in this burning city with these beasts!

(Another crash and a giant reptilian squeel.)

Fighter 1:         (Gitty.)  Good, ‘cause I wanna slay myself that thing that just rode in!

(Creatures laugh at this as they continue to tear things apart, the dodongo roar again.)

Rinku:              (Disappointment-fear.)  Oh damnit!

Tingle:             (Pointing out the obvious.)  As if the lyonels and darias weren’t bad enough, now we have a lizardolf mounted on that dodongo!!

Rinku:              And here I thought they had all been slain when Piaba, Jonesi, and I recovered the Triforce of Power.  (Pause.  Speaking with adrenaline high.)  Wait...the dodongo that tried to kill me that day took out an entire stone wall out of the mountain.  That dodongo should have no problem knocking that iron gate open.

Tingle:             Don’t tell me you are going to act like a matador, are you?

Rinku:              (Smiles.)  That’s pretty much what I did last time.  (Either that or “Good idea, Tingle!”)

Tingle:             You are still recovering from happened to you on Death Mountain..!  (Voice fades out by the time her lines are read because Rinku has already run out to get the attention of the dodongo and its rider.)

Rinku:              ¡Olé!  ¡Olé!

(The daria growls and makes the dodongo charge at Rinku who darts away with the monsters in pursuit.  He dodges people who in turn dodge the charging dodongo.)

Rinku:              (Leaps out of the way.)  Alley-oop! 

(Dodongo slams into the gate and falls.  Mounted lizardolf goes flying off to who knows where?)

Man 3:             I’m free at last, free at last!  (Runs away with the towns people on his heels because they want out of the inferno which is Saria Town.  Everyone who leaves runs across the iron gate before reaching the gravel path which has patches of snow on it.  But almost everyone stays to fight.)

(Dodongo growls and gets back up.)

Tingle:             Rinku, it still has some steam left; run for it!

Rinku:              (Runs across gate and onto gravel as dodongo resumes chase.)  So much for resting here for a while!

(The chase goes on for a short bit with Rinku running in fear and the dodongo occasionally roaring to show that it is getting closer and closer.  Then, quite unfortunately, Rinku trips and falls, sliding across the ground as the roaring dodongo jumps on top of the screaming Rinku.  Any action music is over now and the night sounds fill the air.  Rinku keeps screaming for quite a while until he realizes that he is still alive and that the creature is standing over him.  He stares wide-eyed, panting heavily.  This part is filled with awkward silence between Rinku’s lines.)

Rinku:              (Very scared.)  Hello there...  (Dodongo growls.)  ...is that so?  (Breaths heavily in fear for a little bit.)  Are you going to eat me?  (Silence.)  I’ll take that . . . as a “no.”  (Pause.)  I . . . am going to stand up now.  (Stands up.)  So, you aren’t going to eat me?  (Dodongo snaps and Rinku yelps.)

 

Narrator:          And so, in an ironic twist, the water town of Saria was burned to the ground.  I was unable to rest for my all-night journey through Northern Hyrule.  But, at least I escaped with my life and a new friend.

                        As it turned out, the dodongo happened to be the one that I saw that night before I walked into the ambush.  It happened to recognize me after all the time I was recovering under the Great Fairy’s care and was following me presumably for more of my beef jerky.  I was happy to oblige; I would rather it eat my food than it eat me.

                        The dodongo may not have been quick on its feet, but any chance that I didn’t have to walk, I took.  Knowing that something else was able to ride the dodongo, I decided that it could carry me and my equipment to my next destination.  I had a new form of transportation; transportation that could eat any creature that dared fight me as I made my way across the country.

                        As for the name of my new “pet,” I opened a map, so that it would have a name indigenous to the land where I found it, and arbitrarily picked a location.  My finger landed on the town of Kasuto, and thus the dodongo came to be called “Kasuto.”

                        With the exception of being tried for theft and treason, that near-death experience on Death Mountain, being alienated from my two best friends and the Princess, being hunted by minions of an ancient evil, and having only a single night to save the kingdom, things seemed to be going quite well for me.

 

 

CHAPTER TWO

 

Narrator:          I thought that my quest to recover the Triforce required a lot of backtracking.  Well, the quest to RID myself of the Triforce would require much, much more.

                        Riding on Kasuto’s back, with Tingle supposedly asleep on my lap, I finally had a chance to clearly reflect on the events that had transpired since I had fallen, butchered by the monsters of Hyrule, many weeks ago.  Truth be told, not much seemed to make sense.

                        Huddled in my cloak and cowl, I tried my best to remember the events of that night.  I remembered talking to a man in elaborate, royal armor who had the Master Sword at his side.  Then, I was attacked and managed to wound the armored man who ran away.  I don't remember the battle that followed, but I remember wanting to fall down and rest—but I couldn’t.  Zelda...Hyrule was depending on me.  The soul was willing . . . but my body betrayed me and I fell.  Half in a dream, I saw Zelda for a brief moment and I was cold and in pain.  The next thing I knew, I was in a pool of warm water: the Great Fairy’s fountain.

 

(Flashback, everything is echoy.  Water runs and a soothing tune is heard.)

Tingle:             (Concerned.)  Oh, Great Fairy!  Rinku is going to die!!  Is there anything else you can do?

Great Fairy:     Child, It is not by my powers that this foreigner has survived this long after sustaining such serious injuries.  Something else is sustaining him.  All I can do is lend him my strength to soothe his wounds and aid in his slow recovery.

Tingle:             I don’t understand.  There is no way he could have survived without some really powerful magic.  No one but you holds such power anymore.

Great Fairy:     (Worried.)  I know.

 

Narrator:          I woke up believing that the Great Fairy’s fountain was the afterlife, but I soon was confronted by Tingle who, between sobs of joy, filled me in on events.  Tingle found me laying partially covered in snow apparently after I was left for dead by Zelda.  She immediately called for all remaining fairies in Hyrule to bring me before the Great Fairy, who was to thank for my rapid recovery.  However, the Great Fairy was old, and since the belief in her and her kind had all but gone, she had very little strength left as it was.

 

Great Fairy:     Rinku, I am old.  The ways of yore have been forgotten.  Hyrule has turned its back on its heritage.  But something has spared your life.  You must return Hyrule to the way it was.  I have given you the last of my strength so that you could recover...

Rinku:              All I was asked to do was recover the Triforce!  No one asked me to be a savior.

Great Fairy:     We seldom are asked to do the things that we are required.  Hyrule is slowly being destroyed by evil.  First the Sheika vanished, then the Great Deku Tree fell victim to darkness, the Knights of Hyrule were slaughtered in the Imprisoning War, then the Gorons died off.  (Pause.)  Now my time is neigh. 

Rinku:              (Confused.)  Wait, what was that about the Knights of Hyrule?

Great Fairy:     This is the myth that has been handed down, one that I have borne witness too.  (Depressing sigh.)  Centuries ago when we all were still young, a thief of the Guredo people from the western deserts laid siege to the land of Hyrule.  He managed to somehow steal the essence of the creator Goddesses, the Master Force.  Desperate to stop the Gerudo, the Knights of Hyrule gave up their lives to protect the seven sages who had the power to defeat the evil man.  Few Knights survived, but their lives were not in vain.  The Gerudo thief was banished from our world.  Unfortunately, the ranks of the Knights of Hyrule never replenished.  Although their bloodline continued, they were replaced by the Royal Guard.

Rinku:              Who was this thief?  Whatever happened to him?

Great Fairy:     His name was Ganondorf Dragmire, better known as Mandrag Ganon.  Before he was banished, he managed to keep possession of a fragment of the Master Force: the Triforce of Power.  With it, he became an evil wizard and managed to manifest himself in Death Mountain.  From here, he set out to reclaim the missing two pieces of the Master Force: the Triforces of Wisdom and Courage.  But he was unable to.  The Royalty outsmarted him and a traveling adventurer seemingly destroyed Ganon and recovered the Triforce of Power.  Now a hero, the adventurer returned the Triforce of Courage, reuniting the Master Force.  But the minds of Hyrule do not seem to remember.  As history became legend and legend became myth, nobody knew that Ganon had returned.  Disguised as the magician Agahimn, he was able to once again take control of the Master Force.  And to ensure his survival, he banished the descendants of the seven sages that had defeated him the first time.  But a descendant of the Knights, wielding the Mater Sword that the Knights used to defeat Ganon, put an end to Ganon’s scheme.

                        Ever since then, the Master Force has resided in Hyrule Castle under the protection of the descendant of the Legendary Hero who defeated Ganon. 

Rinku:              So if most of the Knights were wiped out in a war centuries ago, how could they fight the Royalty for possession of the Triforce?  How could they raid villages?  How could they . . . it doesn’t make sense.

Great Fairy:     They aren’t.  The Captain of the Royal Guard, Leon, is the sole surviving member of the Knights of Hyrule.  That is why the King wants him to marry his daughter.  When Leon dies, so does the Knights of Hyrule.

 

Narrator:          “When Leon dies, so does the Knights of Hyrule.”  If anything about this mystery bothered me, this bothered me the most.  My entire quest was to recover the Triforce which Zelda would use to end the fight between the Knights of Hyrule and the Royalty.  But if the Knights of Hyrule has whittled down to being made up of only one single person, what was the war really about?  Who was the enemy?  And why was everyone convinced that the Knights of Hyrule actually existed in greater numbers?

                        This made more questions.  Who did our mercenary unit speak to when we found the Knights of Hyrule?  Who was attacking the villages?  I voiced these questions to the Great Fairy.

 

Great Fairy:     These are dark times, Rinku.  I am wise, but in my age find it hard to see through deceit.  But the Triforce is once again threatened after all these centuries.  Times have changed but the conflict is always the same.  It has been proven that the Triforce has been and always will be abused.  You must leave this place and rid ourselves of the Triforce.  Return it to the place from whence it came: the Golden Land.

Rinku:              And how will I do that?  I can’t smash it with a rock?

Great Fairy:     The Triforce is vital to Hyrule, it mustn’t be destroyed.  The Golden Land is where the Goddesses originally hid the Triforce and there it shall return.  Go north of Death Mountain to a territory once ruled by the King.  The hero named Link who recovered the Triforce of Courage set stones to release a seal around the Great Palace so he could enter.  You must do the opposite.  Remove those stones, restore the Binding Force around the Palace so that no evil may enter.

Rinku:              I can do that.  Then what?

Great Fairy:     You will then journey to the Great Palace.  With the Triforce you will be able to pass through the Binding Force.  Inside you will need to find the only surviving gate into the Golden Land and open it.  Enter the Golden Land, restore the Triforce to its former location, and then seal the gate as you leave.

Rinku:              How?

Great Fairy:     By any means necessary.  To aid you in your quest, search the Death Mountain cemetery for an item.  (Sighs.)  I must rest now.  With little strength left, I will not last much longer in this world.

Rinku:              I thank you for your help.

Great Fairy:     I thank you more for the mission you have begun.

 

(Wind blows and grass rustles.  Kasuto growls.)

Rinku:              (Startled, he bolts up and looks around.)  Woah, what is it?  Why did you stop walking, Kasuto?

Tingle:             (Wakes up, flies in the air, and shivers.)  Why’d we stop?

Rinku:              Shhh.

(Silence as Rinku and Tingle strain to hear through the wind.  Then, Tektites leap out from the tall grass and attack.)

Rinku:              (Startled.)  Tektites?  I thought these things were only water and mountain dwelling!

Tingle:             In Southern Hyrule, yes.  But here, things are a little different!

Rinku:              (Draws his sword, shield, and then spurs Kasuto and shouts.  Eager for the challenge, he speaks to Tingle.)  Lets see how well I can fight mounted.  (Spurs Kasuto again—who groans—and shouts.  Swings sword and slices a Tektite who squeals and disappears in the typical green smoke.  A bunch of Tektites are jumping all over the place as Kasuto stomps around and through their clusters.  Then, Kasuto lunges at one.)  Ha!  I was right, Kasuto will eat anything.  (Rinku deflects a Tektite with his shield and then cuts it open.)  Where are all of these creatures coming from?  (Cuts up another Tektite.) 

Tingle:             I don’t know, but here comes another one!

Rinku:              (Makes a sound as he dodges the Tektite and then Kasuto stomps it.)  The map I have says that there is a bridge a bit farther north.  We should be able to make it there even while under attack.  Let’s go!  (Spurs Kasuto towards the bridge and kills another Tektite.)

(A terrible bird’s cry is heard, followed by a few more.)

Rinku:              What’s that?

Tingle:             Birds called Mobies.  They are evil creatures, keep going!

(Kasuto gallops along as a few Tektites leap up and Rinku swats them down all the while a few Mobies swing down only to be brushed away by the blade of Rinku’s sword.)

Tingle: (Panic sound.)  Rinku, stop!  The bridge is out!

Rinku:              There are too many creatures to fight on this side, I really have no choice, I need to cross.  (Spurs Kasuto.)  Giddy-up!  Come on, faster!  Yah!  Yah!

Tingle:             I’ve heard stories of horses leaping across severed bridges, but a dodongo!?  I hope you know what you’re doing.

Rinku:              I hope that Kasuto knows to jump once we get to the canyon’s edge.  (Spurs Kasuto one last time.)  Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

(The lumbering dodongo makes a stumbling trip and plummets off the canyon with the tektites jumping after because Rinku is still sitting on it.  The birds dive after as well.  Kasuto hits the water below with a giant splash with little splashes and squeals of the Tektites behind.  The river rages with fury as Rinku and Kasuto are tossed down the rocky waters.)

Rinku:              (Spits water out of his mouth.)  That was a disappointing failure!  Kasuto, I hope you know how to swim because these white waters are full of rocks and enemies!

Tingle:             Rather than repeat your experience in the swamp, if you see an Octorock, just deflect its attack with your shield, concentrate on the skeletal fish that will try to leap out and eat you.

Rinku:              Skeletal what?  (Bago-Bago fish jumps out at attacks.  Rinku yelps and blocks.) 

(Octorocks jump out of the water and spit rocks as Rinku spills down the waterway on Kasuto, who can’t swim very well and groans to stay afloat.  The Tektites keep jumping at Rinku as do the Bago-Bago.  This is accompanied by the Mobies swooping down to peck at Rinku’s face.  Rinku fights them off while still trying to stay on the wet and slippery Kasuto.)

Rinku:              The good news is that the water’s so rough that the creatures can’t follow us anymore.  The bad news is that I think we won’t make it either.  (Water roars and Rinku, Tingle, and Kasuto yelp as they are washed away.)

(Water is softer now and Rinku is heard wading to shore with Kasuto at his side.  Fade in his voice as he approaches the beach.)

Rinku:              (Freezing cold.)  Well, at least that time I didn’t pass out.  The past few times I’ve been around water I’ve almost drowned.  But that water is so damn cold and the wind isn’t helping me get any warmer!  (Shivers and opens bag.)  I hope my map survived.  I could really use to know where I am.

Tingle:             From the looks of it, we are by the Kings’ Tomb.  It is where the Kings of North Palace are buried, at least before North Hyrule became a Republic.

Rinku:              When did that happen?

Tingle:             Shortly after the King was returned after his kidnapping.  Disputes arose over the Triforce and over land and taxes and other boring stuff.  But the result was something that split Hyrule into different countries again.  Not since before the Imprisoning War has Hyrule ever been so divided.

Rinku:              I found my map.  You are right...Kings’ Tomb.  According to the Great Fairy, there should be a temple around here.  Before the ocean receded, it used to be the Island Palace, right?

Tingle:             Yes.  But now it is the Mountain Ruin.  Although it is part of Eastern Island, there should still be an ancient passage from the mainland someplace in this cemetery.

Rinku:              I hope that this doesn’t involve more grave-robbing.

Tingle:             What do you mean?

Rinku:              Remember back at the Great Fairy’s fountain..?

 

(Flash-back.)

Great Fairy:     Enter the Golden Land, restore the Triforce to its former location, and then seal the gate as you leave.

Rinku:              How?

Great Fairy:     By any means necessary.  To aid you in your quest, search the Death Mountain cemetery for an item.  (Sighs.)  I must rest now.  With little strength left, I will not last much longer in this world.

Rinku:              I thank you for your help.

Great Fairy:     I thank you more for the mission you have begun.

 

Rinku:              And so you stayed to attend to the Great Fairy while I gathered my repaired belongings and set off to find that item.  It was almost dusk and so I needed to hurry if we were going to be departing for North Hyrule at nightfall.  I rushed to the cemetery, not knowing what I would find...

 

Rinku:              (Searching for anything, brushing off the dust from grave markers, checking an old tree, and the like.  He mumbles.)

Voice:              (Startled.)  Halt!  Who goes there?

Rinku:              Wha...Princess?

Zelda:              (Now she is scared.)  Rinku?  Rinku is that you? 

Rinku:              Yes, it’s me!

Zelda:              How do I know that you are not a Poe spirit playing tricks on me?  I have not disrespected these graves, so why do you come after me?

Rinku:              I’m not a ghost.  The Great Fairy rescued me the night I was ambushed.  Look, I still carry the wounds of that night.

Zelda:              . . . I don’t believe it.  I thought you had died! 

Rinku:              You are not the only one.  And we should keep it that way.

Zelda:              I agree. 

Rinku:              What happened to Piaba and Jonesi?

Zelda:              I don’t know.  I am not allowed in the dungeon anymore under Leon’s orders.  Not even Father is.  I don’t know what Leon is up to, it frightens me . . . Rinku, I saw you wound that armored man at Spectacle Rock that night.  I later saw Leon bearing a wound in the same place.  Leon was the one you spoke to that night.

Rinku:              The Great Fairy gave me some more information on Leon.  He is the last of the line of the Knights of Hyrule.  When he dies, the Knights are extinct.

Zelda:              (Confused.)  Are you sure that you heard her correctly?  Leon may be the last of the line of the Legendary Hero, but of the Knights of Hyrule?  If that were true, who would the Royalty be fighting against in this civil war?  I’ve grown up with the Knights, the Great Fairy must be mistaken.

Rinku:              All I know is that almost every member of the Knights of Hyrule perished in the Imprisoning War.  And how come you never told me that your father was kidnapped?

Zelda:              That?  It wasn’t important, it happened shortly after I was born.  My mother died in childbirth and Father went to visit her grave shortly after her burial when he was captured.  In fact, the reason I am here is to visit my mother’s grave.  What brings you here?

Rinku:              I was told to find an item here.  I wasn’t told where, I wasn’t told what it was, I was just told to look here.

Zelda:              Rinku, where is the Triforce?

Rinku:              Actually, it is with the Great Fairy right now.  She believes that the only way to stop the fighting is to return it to the Golden Land.  There is a portal in North Hyrule that will take me there.  I am leaving tonight.

Zelda:              Truthfully, I don’t know what to do right now.  I am so confused.  I didn’t even know she existed!  But I am sure that it would be wise to listen to the Great Fairy.  The legends say she is a wise being.  In fact, I could help you in your quest!  There is a diplomat going to visit North Palace this evening.  I could convince my father to let me go.  We can meet up there and return the Triforce to where it belongs.  I owe it to you to help this time after what happened...

Rinku:              Are you sure that is wise?

Zelda:              If I help you find this item you are looking for, you will have to let me come.

Rinku:              (Sarcastic, as if Zelda would be dead weight in his quest for the hidden item)  Uh, okay.  It’s a deal.

Zelda:              Good.  Now follow me.

Rinku:              (Stunned.)  What?

Zelda:              The Great Fairy probably sent you out here to find a sword.  That is the only thing I can think of that would be out here.  The adventurer Link of Calatia was buried here centuries ago after reuniting the Triforce, waking the sleeping Princess, and helping rebuild Hyrule.  He was buried with his magical sword which legends say could “zap” foes. 

Rinku:              (Stunned still.)  You tricked me!  You knew what was here and you tricked me.

Zelda:              Hmm.

(The two walk over to a grave.)

Rinku:              Not very fancy.

Zelda:              He wasn’t a fancy man.  He spent most of his youth wandering the world until he came to Hyrule.  Help me push the grave back.

Rinku:              No problem.  (They push and strain and eventually it moves back revealing stairs.  They descend.)  Could sure use a light in here.

Zelda:              Shhh.  (Whispering.)  Ghosts haunt these graves, we shouldn’t disturb them.

Voice:              Ghosts, you shouldn’t be afraid of ghosts!

Zelda:              (Whispering, annoyed.)  Rinku, did you hear what I just said?

Rinku:              (Whispering.)  I didn’t say that.

(Torches light the room.  An old man sits in the middle of the room.)

Rinku:              Who are you, old man? 

Ghostly Man:   Well, perhaps grave robbers should be afraid of ghosts, breaking into tombs and all.  (Floats into the air and transforms into a shadow with a sword and shield.)

Rinku:              Get back, Princess!  (Draws sword and shield.)  I haven’t had a one-on-one sword and board fight in a while.  (Attacks and swords clash.)

(The fight features clashing swords as Rinku agressively attacks and the shadow swings at the same time, their swords clash.  The fight can go on for a little bit, like a minute or so in total.)

Zelda:              (Alerting Rinku.)  Rinku, the shadow is mimicking every move you make.

Rinku:              (Grunts.)  I’m up against the wall!  It’ll take all I have to just keep it away from me!  (Kneels and begins jabbing repeatedly.  The shadow blocks, but when it tries to attack, it steps into a jab.  The creature screams in agony and fades away.  A door is heard opening.)

Zelda:              You did it!

Rinku:              (Sighs and stands up.)  Fortunately it didn’t know how to block and throw an attack at the same time.

Zelda:              I think I heard a door open in the back of the tomb.

(The two walk over to the back of the tomb and through the door.)

Rinku:              Here is his coffin.  And look!  In the back, you were right!  A sword.  Pretty short, though—looks more like a dagger!  (Pulls it from the pedestal.)  But woo! is it light!  A little polishing and the rust will come right off, right Princess?  (Pause.)  Princess?  (Startled.)  What the--?

 

Rinku:              The Princess had fallen to the ground.  I carried her outside where she regained consciousness.

 

Rinku:              Princess, are you alright?

Zelda:              I don’t know.  I set my hand to rest against the sarcophagus when I fainted, I guess.  But I had a dream, a terrible one!  I dreamt that come dawn, Hyrule will be covered in evil’s shadow and no matter what we do, it will never leave!  Rinku, if the Great Fairy said you need to return the Triforce to the Golden Land, you must do it now, you can not wait!

Rinku:              What about you?

Zelda:              I’ll be fine, we can meet up at North Palace for the diplomat event.  Just hurry!

Rinku:              (Gets up and runs off.  He shouts back.)  See you soon, I hope...

 

Rinku:              And so I returned to the Great Fairy’s fountain for you and the Triforce and we set off for Saria.

Tingle:             Why didn’t you tell me you met up with the Princess?

Rinku:              I guess it slipped my mind as I was hurrying to be off!  But now you know and now you understand my apprehension to go digging around strange graves.

Tingle:             (Sarcastic.)  Thanks for telling me.  (Back to normal.)  Now let’s get looking for that passage to the ruins.  If we have until morning to cover ALL of North Hyrule, we’d better search fast!

 

Narrator:          And as we searched, another cold wind blew and particles of snow drifted upon my wet body.  Kasuto crawled off for shelter from the wind, but I couldn’t afford to rest this time, not even to dry off from the river.  We needed to find that entrance as soon as possible.

 

 

CHAPTER THREE

 

Narrator:          I must say that my night in North Hyrule was filled with more adventure than I had in one day in South Hyrule.  Saria was attacked, I got a ride, was attacked, fell in a river, and now I was in a tomb that led to the ruins where I would find my first crystal to re-create the Binding Force around the Great Palace that a hero name Link undid centuries ago.

                        To my great misfortune, all of my belongings were soaked after my trip down the Moruge River, including my towel.  To make matters worse, the frigid night air made drying anything out impossible.  In fact, if I left them out to dry, they would sooner freeze solid and do me less good.  So the only thing left to do was suffer through the night in my wet clothes.  Even though I didn’t think I would actually use it, I put on all my armor just to retain what little warmth my body still had.

                        But things appeared to look up when Tingle and I were able to quickly locate the grave with the secret passage that led to the ruins.  The key word here is “appeared.”  Once we got to the ruins, things didn’t look so great.  The ruins had completely collapsed.

 

Rinku:              (Still very cold.)  Just searching for that crystal could take all night, not even thinking about how long it would take if the other five temples are in such disrepair.

Tingle:             It isn’t the crystal itself that we are looking for, we need to find the figure stone of the temple and remove the crystal from that.  And the figure stone is very big.

 

Narrator:          The search quickly led us into the inner reaches of what used to be the Island Palace.  The moon barely provided enough light through the collapsed ceiling, but I wasn’t about to complain.  But there was one thing that I would bring to Tingle’s attention.

 

Rinku:              There are a bunch of passages that lead to other areas of the ruins, but stones and fallen blocks keep me out!  I could use Jonesi and his bag of bombs right now.

Tingle:             Rinku...you left Kasuto in the cemetery, right?

Rinku:              Yeah.  Why?

Tingle:             Then where is that snorting sound coming from?

(The snort is now audible.  Rinku turns and jumps just as a spear crashes down on the ground.)

Rinku:              (Scared.)  What the hell is that!?

Tingle:             It looks like a mounted Ironknuckle, but it’s a ghost.

Rinku:              Phantom Ironknuckle.  Great.  (Slaps on helmet and draws sword and shield.)  I suppose I’ll be needing my armor after all.  (Steps out to attack, but IronKnuckle rushes him and he dodges.)  Tingle, any ideas on how to dismount it?

Tingle:             Get Kasuto.

Rinku:              I don’t think that is an option right now.  (Dodges another attack.)

Tingle:             Well, the boomerang dismounted the goriya from the aquamentus.  This guy is heavily armored, so try something stronger, like that crossbow you repaired while fighting the Ghoma Queen.

Rinku:              (Whips out the crossbow and loads a bolt into it.  Then, he whispers to himself.)  Ready...aim...(Shots the bolt and misses.)  Damn!

Tingle:             Try again!

Rinku:              (Dodges a spear thrown by the IronKnuckle, loads bolt, and takes aim.)  Ready...aim...(Fires bolt and misses.  Ironknuckle laughs.  Rinku hisses.)  For the love of..!

(Ironknuckle charges Rinku on the horse and Rinku leaps away and slides across the floor.)

Rinku:              (Angrily loads a bolt.)  I don’t have enough arrows to carry on like this!  (Aims.)  Ready...aim...(Fires bolt, Ironknuckle stops on horse and screams.)

Tingle:             It’s stunned, do something!  Knock it off!

Rinku:              (Throws crossbow to the ground and draws sword.  Darts at his enemy, jumps, and crashes into IronKuckle, sending it on the ground.  Ironkuckle swats Rinku who flies across the room and into some fallen rocks.  Rinku yells in an inverted, contorted pain.)  Aaaagh!

 

Narrator:          After being hit clear across the chamber, I impacted some fallen stones.  My body shuttered with that special kind of pain you get when your body is almost frostbitten.  Everything throbbed and my wounds from the Death Mountain ambush reopened.

 

(Slow, steady steps of the dismounted IronKnuckle approach the fallen hero.)

Tingle:             Rinku, get up!  It’s coming for you!

Rinku:              (Groans miserably.)

Tingle:             You didn’t let pain get the better of you at Spectacle Rock.  Don’t let it now!  There were hundreds of enemies there, here there is just this one, do something now!

Rinku:              (Yells and swings his sword, slashing the Ironknuckle who stood inches from him.  The IronKnuckle stumbles back and moans as it disappears into a smoky fire.)  And I have how many more Palaces to go?

Tingle:             Five, after this.  But get up, Rinku.  There is something on the floor where the IronKnuckle met his end.

Rinku:              (Groans and sits up.)  It’s a bracelet.

Tingle:             Hylian lore says that some bracelets give the wearer great strength.  And this looks like this might be one of them. 

 

Narrator:          In much pain and with much skepticism, I tugged off my demi-gauntlet and clasped the bracelet around my wrist.  I was suddenly nauseous.  Although I still throbbed and shivered in my water-soaked armor, I didn’t care.  A wave of power coursed through my tired limbs and I was ready to continue my quest.

 

Tingle:             Are you okay?

Rinku:              I feel terrible, but I do feel somehow stronger.

Tingle:             Try pushing one of those boulders.  (Rinku gives her a funny look.)  Humor me.

Rinku:              (Sighs.  Places both hands on the rock and pushes and it scrapes across the ground.)  Hm!  You were right!  (Pause.)  I wonder how many more times I will be breaking the laws of physics while here in Hyrule?  (Walks down path he just cleared and Tingle flies after him.)

(Walking down passage.)

Tingle:             So, um, Rinku...what do you plan on doing once you return the Triforce to the Golden Land?

Rinku:              (Pause to look at Tingle.)  I plan on finding Piaba and Jonesi.  Too many mercenaries have died here in Hyrule.  I will not let them go too.

Tingle:             And if you find them?

Rinku:              We’ll probably catch up with the rest of the group.  They’re most likely wondering why no one has contacted them after our months of absence. 

Tingle:             And if you don’t find them?

Rinku:              I would leave Hyrule.  I couldn’t bear knowing that this was the land where so many of my friends were tortured and slain.

Tingle:             (Twinge of sadness.)  So either way, you leave.

Rinku:              I suppose so.  (Longer pause.)  I see something ahead; it might be the figure stone.

(A whistling noise suddenly appears.)

Tingle:             Jump!!

Rinku:              (Leaps as a giant axe swings down and splinters the tile on the ground.)  I found the figure stone alright, but it seems that our friend Phantom Ironknuckle still wants to play!

(IronKnuckle groans as it pulls the axe from the ground.)

Tingle:             Watch out, Rinku.  It may be slower with an axe, but remember what it did to you without it.

Rinku:              (Sarcastic.)  Thanks for the reminder!  (Swings sword which bounces off the armor.)  My sword does nothing!  (Jumps as the axe smashes into the ground.)  I need something stronger! 

(IronKnuckle pulls axe from ground.) 

Tingle:             Those rocks look pretty heavy, grab one when the Phantom IronKuckle is incapacitated and bludgeon it!

Rinku:              (Leaps as another axe attack closes in.  As the IronKnuckle strains to pull its axe free, Rinku strains to lift a fallen boulder and, upon doing so, chucks it at the IronKnuckle.  He makes a throwing sound.  The boulder smashes the IronKnuckle flat.)  Would you say that was a crushing defeat, Tingle?

Tingle:             I never knew you to make bad puns...please don’t start now.

 

Narrator:          With the IronKnuckle defeated and an artificial strength to assist my journey, I removed the first crystal from the temple’s figure-stone.  If any of the ancient legends were true, the Binding Force surrounding the Great Palace would begin to surround the ancient ruin.  I gathered my belongings that were strewn about during my two encounters with the enemy and returned to the cemetery where Kasuto was waiting patently.

                        According to my map, there was a harbor town north of the cemetery called Mido.  Although I didn’t have time to rest, I was dead set on detouring to this town to buy a towel, dry clothes, and to see if they provided transportation to the eastern island.  Fortunately, the trek wasn’t too far away from where I was off to next.

                        Being in a hurry, I was unable to absorb Mido’s rustic charms.  It was a quaint little town built on the shores where the ocean met the dry desert.  Commerce was based on sea-side shops and inns, so keeping the old-fashioned look was actually good for business.  And to my great fortune, there were still some retailers open.  I purchased a towel and dried my clothes by a fire in the town square.  Sure I got a few awkward looks for walking into town in cold, wet armor with a dodongo at my side, but I was too tired to care.

                        I soon departed the town dry and refreshed for the Midoro Palace, hidden in a deep, swampy valley.

 

(The scene is in the swamp and Rinku is walking through it.)

Rinku:              This is terrible!  The swamp waters are frozen.  Riding Kasuto may save my strength, but it is a bit slower than I would care and now this ice swamp will slow us down even more.  I think that I’m going to have to go in on foot.

Tingle:             Looks like it.  Be careful not to slip.

(Rinku steps/slides over the frozen mud.  But, he soon slips and yelps in pain.  He gets up and continues.  Sound of a Bubble from “Ocarina of Time” is heard.)

Rinku:              It may be because I am tired, but I think I saw something up ahead.  Like a floating light.

Tingle:             Swamp gas reflecting the moonlight?

Rinku:              I don’t know, but it is pretty spooky.  Everything around here is dead.  The trees are dark and so frozen that they can’t decompose, the dead vines hang limp like empty nooses.  This whole valley is death in abundance!  When the map said I was walking into a swamp, I was expecting some sort of life, fungus, mold, algae...I see it here, but it is all just so...dead!

(Bubble sound again.)

Tingle:             Gah!  Rinku, look out!  (Rinku draws his sword but the bubble attacks, knocking the blade from Rinku’s hand.)  Kill it, it is a Bubble, a will-o-the-wisp of the swamps!

Rinku:              I can’t kill it if I can’t swing my sword.  It was knocked from my hands and fell someplace over there!  The best I can do is block it with my shield until you find it for me!

Tingle:             Use the sword you found in the cemetery with Zelda, the one you said you went grave robbing for!

Rinku:              (Annoyed as he blocks attacks.)  I left it and some of my other gear with Kasuto so I could traverse the swamp easier.  I didn’t think I’d be needing my bed sheets, food, drinking cup, or an extra sword with me when in the swamp!

Tingle:             Rinku, there are two more coming your way!

Rinku:              (Blocking more attacks.)  Then hurry up and find my sword!  I’ll see if my boomerang can keep them at bay.  (Like in the NES game, the boomerang slows them down, but Rinku still is doing mostly blocking and running/sliding around until the ice begins to crack under his feed.)  Hurry!  I’m skating on thin ice over here!

Tingle:             I’m looking!  I’m looking!  (Pause.)  I found it!

Rinku:              (Leaps, slides across the ice to his sword, snatches it, and slices the enemies to ribbons who disappear into a puff of smoke.)  Why does every enemy I defeat have to disappear in a puff of smoke like that?

Tingle:             You’re welcome for finding your sword.  (Answering his question.)  The smoke?  I figure that they are returning to their evil master.  What comes from Ganon should return to Ganon.

Rinku:              (Walking again.)  So you believe in Ganon?

Tingle:             Even though he hasn’t been heard of since the Legendary Hero Link destroyed him centuries ago, his beasts still roam Hyrule.  It is the likes of Leon that it seems we need to worry about.

Rinku:              I’ll second that!  (Silence as he walks.)  I see the Midoro Palace ruins ahead, lets go get that second crystal!

 

Narrator:          Fortunately, the figure-stone was easier to locate this time.  Unlike the Island Palace ruins, debris that blocked our path was easily cleared with the Power Bracelet.  Unfortunately, nothing in Hyrule ever comes easily.

 

Rinku:              Okay, two crystals down and four to go!  (A hand tears through the ground and grabs Rinku.)  Aaaagh!  (Another hand sprouts and clutches Rinku.)  Tingle, what are these!? 

Tingle:             I don’t know!  I’ve never seen anything like it before, but if I had to guess, I’d say it is a Dead Hand.

(As if Tingle was announcing it, the Dead Hand rises from the ground to eat Rinku.)

Rinku:              (Struggling.)  Looks more like the evil dead!  Get me free!  (Struggles more.)  Yah!  (Rolls away as Dead Hand attacks.  But more hands sprout, grasping at Rinku.)  Hands off!  (Severs hands with sword, but more return.)

Tingle:             Aim for the body, not the hands!

Rinku:              Gotcha.  (Leaps and makes “ha” sound as he cuts downward onto the creature who screams and burrows under the ground.)  Its gone, but its hands are still attacking me!  (Hands grab him and begin pulling.)  They’re bringing me under!!  (Struggles to get free.  Screams the following.)  Tingle, help!

Tingle:             There isn’t much I can do, I’m a fairy, remember?

Rinku:              (Panic-filled.)  Then use magic or something!  Or get Kasuto!  Don’t just stay there, hurry!  Go, go, go!  (Squirms and fights but continues being pulled down.)  I guess I’m gonna find out how long I can live buried alive.  (Takes a deep breath as his head goes underground.  Silence.  Then, Rinku is hit.)  Agh!  (He is hit again.)  Aowuh!  Wh-where am I?  Why can’t I see?

Dead Hand:     (Spits while talking, vocal cords are decomposing.)  In the underground labyrinth.  These dark caves be-ith where many have died before yeh.  Ye shall join them, ye who has the Triforces.

Rinku:              Over my dead body; you aren’t getting your hands on them!

Dead Hand:     Yeh don’t have a choice.  I know ye have them, handeth them over or I will remove them from yeh cold corpse.

Rinku:              Come and get it.  (Insulting.)  But why does a pathetic beast like you want it anyway?  You can’t handle it.

Dead Hand:     (Hissing.)  The Master has sent for it.  He has-ith removed the Master Sword as a threat against him and now all that is left is yeh and the Triforce.

Rinku:              (Insulting even more.)  So I’m right.  You can’t handle the Triforce, you’re just some hired-hand to do the dirty work.  And then, when you are all alone here in the dark, you will say to yourself, (mocking) “I-ith wish-ith I-ith had-ith kept-ith it-ith.”  Because you know, your Master will be living it up in his rich castle macking on all the lovely ladies.

Dead Hand:     Mind yeh tongue.

Rinku:              Be a pawn for the rest of your after-life.  I don’t care.  I’ll be dead.  (Hands tighten, Rinku’s ribs pop as he groans in agony.)

Dead Hand:     I can crush-ith you now, “hero.”

 

Narrator:          The Dead Hand was tightening its grip, I couldn’t breath and I could have sworn my ribs had just collapsed.  I could only stall until Tingle and Kasuto found me.

 

Dead Hand:     Yeh cries of agony amuse-ith me. 

Rinku:              (In pain.)  If you crush me, you crush the Triforce.

Dead Hand:     Nay, I know ye have the Triforce in yeh back bag.  But the more I squeeze, the more it presses into yeh body, like a knife slowly being pushed into yeh soft flesh.  The Master will take pleasure in seen the Triforce bathed in blood once again.

Rinku:              (Gets squeezed more and he screams.)

(A pounding sound is heard, steady and constant.)

Dead Hand:     (Hisses.)  What-ith is that?

(Ceiling crumbles and then a roar is heard as Kasuto crashes down with no grace what-so-ever.)

Rinku:              (Groans as he struggles free in the chaos.)  Free at last! 

Dead Hand:     Daaagh!  Suffer-ith a fate worse than death should you leave these caves.  No matter what yeh do, come dawn Hyrule will be owned by the Master!  Death by dawn!  Death by dawn!  Death by dawn!

Rinku:              (While Dead Hand screams “Death by dawn.”)  But your death comes now.  (Grabs sword and plunges it into the creature who screams, falls to the ground, and disappears into the typical green smoke.  Rinku stops to breathe.)

Tingle:             Are you okay?  When you weren’t there when we returned, I figured that we needed to dig to find you.

Rinku:              Thank you Tingle.  (Turns to Kasuto and pets it.)  And you, you are so much better than a horse.  You’re not graceful, you can’t move fast or swim, but you’re swell.  (Kasuto growls.)  So how are we going to get back up?  I can’t even see where we are to know where to go.

Tingle:             Judging by our fall, we can’t climb out, just see where this path leads.

Rinku:              I suppose.  (Begins walking and trips.)  Ow, when I can’t see where I’m going, it will be pretty hard.  What is this I am walking on.  (Feels the ground.)  Bodies!  Dead Hand was right, several had died down here.  I feel rusted swords . . . ruined armor . . . arrows!  I was running low, I could use to re-fill my quiver.  (Picks up the arrows and pockets them.)  What else is here?  More rusted stuff . . . bones . . . what the?  What is this gizmo?  (Rolls it around in his hands, it clinks and rattles.)  I’ll keep it until I get into some light to see what it is.  Come on Tingle, let’s go.  We can’t spend all night in this cave, we have four more crystals to find!

 

Narrator:          The prospect of escaping the caves before dawn was dim, but we had to try.  There were now two people, Zelda and the Dead Hand, who said that Hyrule would be covered in darkness come morning.  I needed to hurry up and enter the Golden Land, but I first needed to rendezvous with the Princess.  Twelve hours is not enough time to save the world!

 

 

CHAPTER FOUR

 

Narrator:          Whoever constructed the underground labyrinth designed it so that it would open up to the overworld in almost every thinkable location.  The passage I came upon fortunately opened up in an obscure cave just southwest of North Palace. 

                        The castle looked as if one had reached into the heavens and strung stars across its turrets.  The white lights shimmered in the cold night air.  Like Hyrule Castle, North Palace was an ancient building, but this palace seemed somehow more sophisticated.  Outside the palace were a few pavilions and wagons that I immediately recognized as belonging to the circus that found me when I stumbled down Death Mountain after finding the Triforce of Power.  They still hadn’t patched the hole I made when I came crashing down.

 

(Outside the Palace.)

Guard A:          Halt!  Dismount that creature at once, put your arms in the air.

Rinku:              (Dismounts Kasuto and raises arms.)  I wish no harm, sir.  I wish to enter North Palace.

Guard A:          You wear armor, bear arms, and ride a beast of evil’s creation.

Rinku:              Inquire within to the Tipsy-Turvey Traveling Troupe and tell them that their daredevil juggler has arrived...with an animal show: the only tame Dodongo.  They call me Fly Boy.

Guard B:          (To Guard A.)  They never mentioned an animal show in the list of performances.

Guard A:          (To Guard B.)  Check just in case.  (To Rinku.)  You stay here.

 

Narrator:          My only hope of entering the castle was if Tipsy or Turvey remembered me from that night I fell into their laps.  I just hoped that the guards wouldn’t search me, because if they did, they would surely arrest me for having in my possession the complete Triforce and two crystals from the ruined palaces.

 

Guard B:          (Walking back.)  Yeah, they know you.  They confirmed it when they called you Fly Boy.  But they didn’t know anything about a Dodongo.  It stays out here.

Rinku:              Very well.  I hope that the crowd won’t be disappointed too much when they don’t see that particular act.

Guard A:          It’s for safety.  Hurry up, the show is starting in the back courtyard.

Rinku:              Yes sir!  (Darts off.)

 

Narrator:          My ruse worked.  I hurried to the Courtyard where I was shocked at the number of people.  I was shocked even more so when I noticed how much Leon stuck out in the crowd, searching for something, most likely me!  I didn’t know how he got here, but I needed to change out of my armor to hide!

 

Turvey:            (Excited.)  Fly Boy, you’re back!

Rinku:              Eh, yeah.  Listen, Tipsy, Turvey, I’m not a performer . . .

Tipsy:              You’re a daredevil!  Let’s get you into the Tipsy-Turvey garb!

Turvey:            Here, put this on.  It is baggy enough to fit over your armor so you can do those wild stunts without getting hurt.

Rinku:              (Belt is undone.)  Tipsy, what are you doing?  That’s my sword!

Tipsy:              It will get in the way of your juggling.  We’re gonna have you juggle something larger than those three triangles.  It will get in the way.

Rinku:              I don’t have time, I need to find Princess Zelda immediately.

Turvey:            Oh, yes.  She is in the crowd.  As a diplomat from Southern Hyrule, she is sitting in the balcony to the left of the stage.  I even saw the dreamy Captain Leon roaming the crowd

Tipsy:              Now go put on your clothes, hurry, your special act will be starting soon.

 

Narrator:          The conversation was so quick and one-sided that it hurt.  Before I knew it, I was wearing a costume that resembled my surcoat with the addition of a dopey green cap.  In the event of an emergency, which seemed to follow me since my arrival in Hyrule, I slipped the tiny lightweight sword from the Hero’s grave under my costume.  Perhaps having a short sword wasn’t such a terrible thing.

 

(In front of the giant crowd.)

Tipsy:              (Announcing.)  And now, simple peasants, ladies, and gentles: both I, Tipsy . . .

Turvey:            (Announcing.)  . . . and I, Turvey, present to you the last-minute addition of the daredevil Fly Boy.  The juggler who . . .

Rinku:              (Loud whisper to the leaders from off stage.)  I can’t juggle!!

Tipsy:              (Thrown off-guard.)  . . . who, uh, makes up for his mediocre skills with the addition of breath taking acrobatic feats . . .

Rinku:              (Loud whisper.)  I’m not an acrobat!!

Turvey:            (Trying to recover from this second admission.)  . . . while being, uh, launched into the air by that trebuché!  (Crowd gasps in horror and begins muttering.)

Rinku:              (Too shocked for words.)