email: NoMan 'at' sbcglobal.net

 

This was intended to be a radio program based on the videogame series The Legend of Zelda.  The presentation is set up so that we hear the ambient sounds as the characters speak, as they perform actions, or when the narrator is speaking.  The story is original, but is intended to contain almost every cliché that exists in the series.  This was written in the year 2001, shortly after Oracle of Ages and Oracle of Seasons was released and has been unmodified from its original version except to convert it into HTML from MS Word.

 

NOTABLE CHARACTERS:

 

Rinku:              (Male)  Rinku is a mercenary and the narrator of this epic quest.  As the narrator, he is much older and has gained a good perspective of the adventure he once had.  Rinku, in his youth (played by a different actor), is running headfirst into a quest he doesn’t understand.

Jonesi:             (Male)  He is a few years younger than Rinku and a member of the mercenary fighting unit that raised them.  Fighting comes easy to him and he can be tricky, which is in part why he wears a fox’s tail on his belt in battle.

Piaba:              (Male)  The oldest of Rinku and Jonesi, Piaba is a reliable friend.  Wearing a wolf’s tail into battle and having a long, black ponytail, he is steadfast and fierce.

Zelda:              (Female)  She is the Princess of Hyrule.  Worrying what is best for her kingdom and for others, she is willing to put even her own life on the line to do what is right.  But due to political restraints, she secretly has Rinku do her bidding.

Leon:               (Male)  Leon is the Captain of the Guards of Hyrule and a descendant of the heroic Knights.  He is also rumored not only to be the descendant of the Legendary Hero of Hyrule, but also to actually be the Hero incarnate.  Like Zelda, Leon was born with the kingdom crest on the back of his hand.

Tingle:             (Female)  Tingle is a forest fairy who follows Rinku around.  She is always happy and will give Rinku a lead to follow.  However, because nobody believes in fairies anymore, she can not be seen or heard.

King:                The stern ruler of everything.  After he was rescued from a hostage situation, he became overly protective of the Triforce until it disappeared.  He is important, but rarely seen.

 

 

OTHER CHARACTERS

 

Old Man (M), Weno (M), Garee (M), Mercenary (M), Woman (F), Gruff Man (M), Lalana (F), Elder (M), Kid 1, 2 (?), Guard 1, 2, 3 (M), Raft Clerk (?), Old Lady (F), Zora Elder (F), Zora Elders 1-3 (?), Wounded Zora (?), Tipsy (M), Turvey (F), Kaepora (F), Lanrette (M), Person 1 (?), Person 2 (?), Iron Man (previously mentioned character, sex unknown).

 

CHAPTER ONE

 

Narrator:          I seem to have the same dream every single night.  Dreams have always been something that has been a part of my life.  Currently, my dreams are filled with images of the past.  When I was younger, I had dreams of the present.  But what started it all, way before anything happened, was when I had dreams of the future. 

                        Please, allow me to start from the beginning.  As a boy, I had a strange reoccurring dream, a different vision than the one that now haunts my slumbers.  I never was one to believe in dreams; I was taught that they were only a figment of my imagination, nothing to pay heed to.  But when it repeats, every night, it is a little hard to ignore!

                        I would find myself in a strangely familiar land, one I had never seen, and people around me are having a great celebration.  But I can see past their happiness, they fear for their lives.  I am foreign to them, so I creep behind the crowd, I long to escape.  I scale a wall, and find myself in a courtyard where I see a woman.  She is a few years my elder, but the most beautiful you will ever see.  She gives me a favor of hers just as the gray clouds that hung over the festival broke, sending rain pouring down.  The rain was so hard that it began to shred trees, castle walls, and the ground.  I can’t see anything, but I am in pain.  I hear screams.  Too afraid to see what will happen next, I wake up. . .

                        Confused, I finally went to the old wise man to help explain it to me.  And that is when things began to change.

 

Old Man:          What’s this?  A dream?  Come now, you should know better than that.  They simply are just products of your imagination running around.  Just enjoy them.  When you get to be my age, it is one of the few things you still CAN enjoy.  You can’t poop, you can’t see, you can’t have sex, you can’t fight . . . the only thing you can do to enjoy yourself is dream.

Narrator:          (A younger voice this time; he IS younger...this is a flashback)  But these dreams bother me.  How can I enjoy a dream where everything is being destroyed?  It is so real!

Old Man:          So is my dream where I can fly.  But it isn’t real.  If you don’t stop worrying, you will never succeed.  Now, get your ass out of my tent and into armor.  Get practicing soon.  We are going to be picking up camp in a few days.

Narrator:          Really?  (As he is opening tent flap).  Where are we going this time?  I thought we were going to rest from the last war we fought.

Old Man:          Rest?  Why do you think we spent the past week here, this IS our rest.  We need money.  We get it by fighting.  Sit around doing nothing and we go broke.  And when there is a war as big as where we are going, one side is going to pay top dollar for our services.

Narrator:          (frustrated)  Spare me the explanation.  I grew up as a mercenary.  I’ve been with you guys for as long as I can remember.  Just tell me where we are going.

Old Man:          Some small, hole-in-the-wall country.  I forget the name, which is a shame considering that I lived there for a few months.  All I recall is that it split in two when one side turned against the crown all for possession of some jewel.  This war has been tough for both sides.  Shoot.  I can’t remember the name.

Narrator:          You’re right.  Being old is hell.  I’m sure you’ll remember.  (pause)  Well, I’ll see you later, old man.  (Leaves)

Old Man:          Hey, I am only 43!  That’s old for our business!  You’ll be lucky to live past 20 years of age, Rinku!  (Pause)  And I remember where we are going…some place called Hyrule!  …I think...

 

Narrator:          (Older; from hence forth the young narrator will be referred to as “Rinku” and the voice in retrospect will be simply “Narrator.”  Though they are the same person, a different person will play each part.)  Well, I would live past 20.  That was the old man’s idea of a joke.  In that line of business, you are surrounded by death so much that to joke about yours or someone else’s demise was a way to cope.

                        But I digress; I left the tent that day to begin my daily practice.  I put on my armor, grabbed my whalebone sword, used only for practice, and my shield and went to find the nearest friend to whack.

                        That day it was Jonesi.  Jonesi was an interesting character.  About two years my younger, he had more skill than I.  We both used sword and board, a slang term for sword and shield, and within a few minutes of fighting, he had “killed” me, meaning that if it were a real fight, I would have lost my life.

 

Jonesi:             Rinku, you did pretty good that time, but…well, I don’t now how to phrase this because I’m not a teacher, but I just keep killing you.  Perhaps you are thinking too much.

 

Narrator:          Heh, think too much…  Sure.  I do that.

 

Rinku:              Let’s go again, then.  (Friendly, of course…after all, they aren’t using real swords)  I’ll kill you one of these days.

Jonesi:             (mocking) “One of these days?”  Rinku, please!  You’ve been fighting me for how long and have been slain every time?  But… if you are willing to still go at it, I’ll be willing to oblige.  Ready?

Rinku:              Ready.

Jonesi:             Then bring it on.

 

Narrator:          I lost again.  But that didn’t mean that I was without skill, it just wasn’t clicking yet.  After all, I grew up with the mercenaries, I had been in a few battles, and I didn’t lose every fight with Jonesi.

                        I spent the rest of that day goofing off and fighting my friends.  It didn’t matter who killed who, or how many times, we were just having fun.  And that is what made our mercenary group different than any other fighting unit in all the kingdoms.  So long as we gave a good fight and died happy, we fought a good war regardless of if we won or not.  We were taught to not fear death and to enjoy life because death could come with every battle.

                        Soon night came and I was again in bed, ready to fall asleep and experience my dream as usual.  Rather, that night, no dream came.  I imagine that the slumber I had that night was like death: a dark, empty void.  The only thing that stirred me from that void was a companion gently kicking me, telling me to get up and pack.  We were leaving.

 

 

CHAPTER TWO

 

Narrator:          In that one day’s travel, my group soon set foot on Hylian soil.  Two parties set off ahead of time to announce to both warring sides that we were arriving and would offer our services to the highest bidder.  Neither group had returned, so two more groups set off.  I was in the group that was elected to visit the monarchy of the land.  We strapped on our armor, sheathed our weapons, and with helm under arm, we set off.

                        I was in a haze that day; I could have sworn that I was still asleep because the scene that surrounded me was the same I saw in my dreams.  This new, empty land seemed familiar to me.  As we hiked, I turned to one of my companions,

 

(The group is walking the path before them.  Their footsteps can be heard.)

Rinku:              Hey, Piaba, have you noticed that the towns we are passing are empty?  …that nobody is in the fields?

Piaba:              I suppose.  The war in this land has damaged most of the commerce and trades in this land.  The people are probably hiding. 

Rinku:              (Unsure)  Well…  That makes sense, but, do you think that perhaps that they’re at a party?

Piaba:              (Laughs)  I’d enjoy that just as much as you, ya party animal!  But think about it: these people are being slaughtered by what used to be their guardian army.  They need to conserve resources to survive.  No way would they waste it on a fiesta of any sort.

Jonesi:             (Running up behind the two)  Hey, was Rinku talking about a party?

Piaba:              Yeah.

Rinku               Well, it would be nice.

Jonesi:             (Joking)  It would also be nice if the side that hires us pays us in whores!  That would be the best payment for fighting I ever would receive.

Rinku:              (Joking)  Yeah, because you couldn’t get any without paying first.

 

Narrator:          The conversation continued like that as we hiked toward Hyrule Castle.  With our strong love of fighting and the way we joked to each other, it is no wonder we had the reputation for being a crude, unruly band of mercenaries.

                        But our perverted conversation came to a quick halt when we arrived at the castle.  We explained ourselves to the guards who reluctantly let us inside.  They obviously had heard of us.  Our reputation preceded us, either that or the group that came before us made asses of themselves, which wouldn’t surprise you if you knew us.

 

Guard 3:          You may enter, but only one of you may speak with the royalty.  The rest of you dogs must stay outside of the keep.

 

Narrator:          That “dogs” comment didn’t phase us.  We DID fight with an animal tail hanging from our belts.  Jonesi wore a fox's tail, Piaba wore a wolf’s tail, and I, as a complete practical joke, wore a rabbit’s tail in battle.  Besides, we kinda took pride being like a pack.  As we entered the castle, we made jokes of who was the most dog-like.  The guard seemed disgusted that we were so keen to insult each other.

 

Piaba:              So, Weno, if you get married and have children, can I have a puppy?

Weno:             Calm down.  Remember, only one of us can enter the castle.  We should decide whom.  I nominate Jonesi, he’s the only one who can fit through the doggy-door…

Rinku:              Size doesn’t matter, we need someone who can speak dog to their princess!  Piaba is the perfect choice.

Jonesi:             I second that!  I hear that this princess is a true bitch.  Takes a true dog to speak to a true dog.

Weno:             And less you forget that I am top dog here.  Being in charge, I will speak to their royalty.  Anyone disagree?

Piaba:              Nope, just be careful not to scratch your fleas while in the presence of their crown.  It’ll make them nervous.

Mercenary:      Hey guys!  You won’t believe this!  Rinku was right, there is a festival going on!

Weno:             Rinku?  Being right?  That IS hard to believe!  Shoot.  I’m gonna miss the fun.  Now I regret being the one to go inside. 

 

Narrator:          We all were in disbelief.  In the middle of a war that had destroyed the land, a grand carnival was being held inside the castle walls.  People were cheering, laughing, and having fun.  But the threat of an attack was on their minds.  They couldn’t hide their fear.  The festival was intended to improve moral of the peasants, workers,  and knights.  But just as it was in my dream, I knew that their laughter wouldn’t last for long.

                        I was taught that death could come at any minute so I should enjoy a good time whenever I can.  So, my companions and I spent the next long hours mingling with the Hylian people.  We stuck out like sore thumbs, having not bathed longer than anyone else, being in blood-stained armor with an animal tail hanging from our belts, carrying weapons, shields, and a helmet, and not having those pointy ears of theirs.

 

(Noise is in the background as people sing, laugh, play games and other party things.)

Piaba:              (To his companions)  Jonesi, Rinku, you have to try these tarts!  It’s way better than that gruel we have to eat in camp.  Plus, because they’re in wartime, it’s cheap as dirt!

Jonesi:             Piaba, I help fix that gruel, mind you me!  Would you rather starve?

Piaba:              I’d rather that someone other than you contaminate my food.  Like Radia.  Ah, she could serve me any day.

Rinku:              Speaking of Radia, she was in the group that came to the castle before we did, right?  So how come none of us have seen them?

Jonesi:             Let’s ask…  Um, you!  Yeah, have you seen a group of armored folk like us roaming around?

Peasant:          Mercenaries.  Humph.  Taking advantage of Hyrule are you?  Sure, you enjoy our carnival now, but if the Knights pay you off, you’d be slaying us all now.  I spit on you (spiting sound).

Rinku:              Sure, but have you spit on any others of us recently?

Peasant:          I would hope not.  You make me want to vomit.

Rinku:              That sure was friendly.  Let’s ask someone else.

Piaba:              Ma’am, have you seen any others like us around here?

Woman:          (Scared)  I know nothing.

Piaba:              Hmm…  Perhaps we should ask a castle guard?

Jonesi:             That guy wiping his hands over there looks pretty fancy in the metal armor.  All the other guards I saw wore simply leather.

Rinku:              (Shouting)  Hey!  Guard!  Question over here!

Jonesi:             Here he comes.

Guard(Leon):   Yes?  What may I do for you (pause) …you foreigners.

Piaba:              Have you seen anyone else like us?  We sent a group several hours ago to speak to the King and they never returned.  We are here to follow up on them.

Guard(Leon):   I haven’t heard of any such thing.  Now if you will excuse me, I am in a hurry.

Rinku:              Well, he’s gone.  That was no help.  (Changing tone)  You guys can wait for Weno.  I am tired of being here.  It’s a bit hard to enjoy yourself when you know you aren’t wanted.  I’m going to return to camp.

Piaba:              Your loss, pal.  Cheap food and entertainment.  You won’t find that at camp.

Jonesi:             Besides, I tried to leave the castle about an hour ago.  I was told that it is too late in the day to allow guests of the castle leave.  Not even the peasants can go.  Rinku, you’re stuck here..

Rinku:              Well, I’ll just find my way out.

(End crowd noises.)

 

Narrator:          It wasn’t the feeling of being not wanted that made me want to leave the castle, it was the feeling of de-ja-vu.  Everything was playing out too similar to what I saw in my dream.  The sooner I could get to camp, the sooner I could prevent the dream from being lived out in my waking hours.

                        Not knowing where anything was located in the castle, I followed my inner voice to find a spot where no one was looking and I then took the pains of scaling the castle wall.  As I climbed, the voice told me where to place my hand and feet.  I realized that it wasn’t the voice that my thoughts normally sound like when I think.

                        When I noticed that, I realized that I was on the other side of the wall.  But rather than being outside of the castle, I was within the inner wall.  It was a garden of some sort.  It was a lovely garden, so well kept, that I knew that only royalty would be allowed here.  But it was so incredible that I could not bear to leave.  I simply dropped my helmet and shield to the grass and stared.  Slowly coming to terms with where I was, I dared to walk in the garden as the long evening shadows were cast against the red-lit walls from the setting sun.

                        Fireflies began to appear slowly.  They were out of season seeing that it was mid autumn.  I walked in a trance, not myself until I felt myself hit something soft.  I had just knocked someone to the ground without looking.  Obviously, neither of us had been watching where we were walking.  My first instinct was to run from the forbidden garden, but I was stopped.

 

Female:           Wait, don’t run.  Could you help me up?

 

Narrator:          In my heavy armor, when we walked into each other, she simply fell right over.  Feeling guilty, I extended my hand to help her up.  I saw her face.  She was so gorgeous, exactly like the woman in my dreams.  I was almost afraid that by simply being with her, the rest of my dream would come true.  But a mercenary can’t show fear at a time like this.

 

Female:           Thanks.  (Pause)  You’re another mercenary, aren’t you?

Rinku:              Um…yes.

Female:           I just finished speaking to one.  Do you know a “Weno?”

Rinku:              Yeah.  I came to the castle with him earlier today to speak to the King.  You know, to see if he could use our services.  I am pretty sure he is still in the castle speaking to the royalty.

Female:           He is.  But it is no longer about whether or not Hyrule needs mercenaries.  It is about whether or not you and your . . . kind . . . can stay in the castle for the night.  We have gone into lockdown for the evening and we don’t want to open our gates perchance that we might be attacked.

Rinku:              So, the Royalty doesn't want us?  Interesting.

Female:           Not so, I could use you.

Rinku:              (Confused) What?

Female:           I am a member of the Royal Family of Hyrule.  I believe that we could use all of the help that we can get.  RELIABLE help.  I am afraid that with all the corruption that has gone on in the past few years, outside help is exactly what we need.  But my father disagrees.  Sometimes I don’t understand him.

Rinku:              Is your father on the Royal Court?

Female:           (Laughing, despite the grim situation of her country)  On the Royal Court?  No, no.  My father is King.

Rinku:              . . .

Female:           Yes, you just assaulted the Princess of Hyrule.  My name is Zelda.

Rinku:              (Nervously)  Ah… hehe…

Zelda:              It’s all right.  Like I said, I could use your help.  I somehow could tell that you were coming.  (Throwing in a quick joke) I just didn’t see you coming.  (Pause for a laugh that doesn’t come, so she continues)  Yes, well, do you know anything about this war?  And, what is your name?

Rinku:              Rinku.

Zelda:              Rinku…  It sounds familiar, kinda like the bedtime stories my brother and I were told as a little children about a hero named Link who saved the lovely Princess Zelda.

Rinku:              Another Princess Zelda?

Zelda:              Oh, yes.  It is a law that all firstborn females be named Zelda.  But that is a long story in and of itself.  It makes it so that when someone yells out, “Zelda!” in a crowded room, almost every girl looks up.

Rinku:              (Slight laugh.)

Zelda:              (Feeling a little better)  Well, Rinku, this war started a few years ago, after Hyrule’s northern provinces broke away.  As with all major feuds, it is about power control.

Rinku:              I thought it was about some jewel.

Zelda:              Then you think wrong.  That “jewel” is a tremendous power source in this kingdom.  I was fearful that someone was trying to steal it as well as the throne.  My fears were proven when one night, three years ago, the Triforce went missing.

Rinku:              Triforce?

Zelda:              The, um, “jewel” as you put it.  The Triforce is made up of three triangular pieces, each symbolizing the gods that created Hyrule.  Instantly, upon it’s being stolen, fingers began being pointed.  The Knights of Hyrule accused the Crown of taking it out of greed.  The Crown accused the Knights of taking it so that they could have power and overthrow the monarchy.  And the split has divided Hyrule ever since.

Rinku:              So each side accuses the other for having this “Triforce” but no one can prove it?  No one knows who has it?

Zelda:              Exactly.  So, having an outside party who has chosen no sides find out who stole it would be a great help.

Rinku:              But I am not a detective.  All I do is fight.

Zelda:              Exactly.  You see, I know where the Triforce is.  The only problem is that it is heavily guarded.  It is also separated into three pieces so…

Rinku:              If you know where it is, then why don’t you tell your father?

Zelda:              I’m not finished yet!

Rinku:              Sorry.

Zelda:              As I was going to say, was that if a third party finds it and declares that neither side took it, it will help unify the country.  But if a Knight finds it, they will be accused of stealing it.  If a Royal finds it, they will be accused of stealing it.

Rinku:              So who DID steal it?  If you know where it is, would you also know who took it?

Zelda:              (Pause)  Yes.  But it was done because somebody was going to steal it and use it for evil.  So rather than wait for the worst to happen, I stole . . . I , um, had somebody steal the Triforce for me to keep it out of harm’s way.  And now it is time to have somebody bring it back.

Rinku:              So if I do bring it back, people are going to ask who took it.  What do I say?

Zelda:              Good question.  My best answer would be to say that Ganon took it.

 

Narrator:          A shiver went down my spine.  Was someone walking on my grave?  It sure felt like it at that moment.

 

Rinku:              Ganon?  Who is that?

Zelda:              Nobody really.  Like “Link,” he is a character in legends of old.  Whenever something bad happens, we blame Ganon.  But nobody believes in him anymore.

Rinku:              Then why blame it on him?

Zelda:              Do you like interrupting me?

Rinku:              Well excuse me, Princess…

Zelda:              While nobody sane believes in Ganon, there is a fringe group that warships Ganon.  They are a group of monsters, inhuman beasts, that always try to harm innocent people.  That and the fact that somehow they discovered where I had the Triforce hidden and are trying to steal it.

Rinku:              So when you say that the Triforce is guarded, you mean that cult of Ganon is trying to take it and I have to fight them.  And since I have to fight them anyway, they would make a great scapegoat for your mistake of taking the Triforce to begin with.

Zelda:              It was not a mistake.  Someone evil on one of the two sides is trying to get it.  But we mustn’t allow the cult to get it first.  I would do it myself, but there are rules about Princesses leaving the castle.

 

Narrator:          I could tell that she was sincere.  She needed somebody to fight her fight in her stead.  She seemed perfectly willing to go out and fight herself, but she couldn’t.  She needed me.  And I felt somehow connected to her; after all, I had dreamt about her and this meeting for the past few years.  I instantly knew that I would help her.

                        I stood there, however, not saying a word.  I was lost in the moment.  The sun had almost completely vanished from the sky, but the remaining rays of red light turned the Princess’ golden hair a dark amber color.  The fireflies danced around as a few leaves fell from the overhead tree.  I was lost in her beauty.

 

Zelda:              I know that there is a lot to consider.  And I understand if you don’t want to help.

Rinku:              Shhh.  Don’t worry.  I’ll help you.  Just tell me what to do.

 

Narrator:          And those words began the next phase of my life.  As a few raindrops began to fall, the fireflies scattered and disappeared.  I was told by the Princess to follow her into her chambers to further explain my quest.  After hiding my helmet and shield from the rain, she gave her cloak to me to disguise myself from the palace guards.  At this point, my fate was in her hands.  Only bad things could happen if I was found in the presence of Royalty.  Even worse things for her if she was found conspiring with a mercenary.  But for the benefit of Hyrule, we were willing to risk our lives.

 

 

CHAPTER THREE

 

Narrator:          I spent that night in Zelda’s chamber.  Neither of us slept; rather, we discussed what needed to be done.  The Princess seemed confident that things would work out in the long run.  She told me that she had reoccurring dreams where a stranger came to help her save the kingdom from darkness.  She was very much into dreams, unlike myself.  She believed that dreams could somehow tell the future.

                        Our discussions continued and every time the Princess brought up payment for my services, I somehow felt the need to change the topic.  Upon the dawn of morning, she had breakfast delivered to the room so I could eat in private.  Afterwards, she once again hid me within her flowing cloak and ushered me through the labyrinth-like palace, stopping to reclaim my helmet and shield, which was left in the garden.  My heart raced as we passed each guard, and I could tell that Zelda’s did too.  But finally we reached the place where I would be departing on my quest.

                        Before leaving, Zelda and I stood together silently until she simply placed something in my hand, a favor to remember her by while I was out fighting for her.  It was some kind of wind instrument.  With this, I finally left the castle.

                        As I was heading for the drawbridge, I felt something hit me in the back of the head.

 

Jonesi:             Rinku, where the hell do you think you are going?

Weno:             And where were you last night?  We were looking for you.

Piaba:              Look, Rinku is wearing a woman’s cloak!  (teasing)  I think I know what happened last night.

 

Narrator:          So much for beginning the adventure with a solemn advent.

 

Rinku:              I need to do something.  It is very important.

Weno:             Too bad.  We gotta go.  The King doesn’t want us.  (Adopting a kingly voice) “Hyrule does not need the assistance of wandering, vile low-lives.”

Piaba:              What’s even more ironic is that the guard we spoke to yesterday was the captain of the Royal Guards.  He said we “were making a terrible ruckus in the marketplace, disturbing the honorable citizens of Hyrule.”

Jonesi:             What an ass.

Weno:             Yeah.  (Shifting attention) Rinku, it is time to go.  The rest of the group has already begun to return to camp.  We will find out what the other group had to say.  I personally hope that they hire us.  I can’t wait to fight that Captain or the bloated King of theirs.

Rinku:              No, you don’t understand.  I need to do something right now.  I won’t be going with you.

Piaba:              (Joking)  Ooh!  You really must have had some FUN last night!  Now you actually want to stay here. 

Rinku:              It’s not like that.

Jonesi:             Well, at least go back to camp with us.  See if the Knights hired us.

Weno:             You aren’t gonna ditch your family for a woman, are you?

Rinku:              (Pause)  Fine, I’ll return to camp…

 

Narrator:          As much as I didn’t want to, I was curious to know if the opposing army had hired my surrogate family, the band of mercenaries I grew up with.  Could I tell them that I had made arrangements with the Princess?  And one other question crossed my mind: if these guys could recognize me in the Princess’ cloak, could the guards have managed the same?

                        I tried not to think of it as we journeyed back to camp.  Once we arrived, everyone gathered together.  We all sat on the damp grass around a half-dead fire to discuss our next course of action.

 

Mercenary:      So the first groups are simply gone?  We aren’t a group of deserters.  We don’t abandon each other.

 

Narrator:          These words struck me hard.

 

Old Man:          But the second away parties returned.  Weno, who spoke to the Hylian Royalty, and Garee, who spoke to the Knights, will present to us the results of their respective inquiries.

Weno:             (Standing up to face everyone)  Quite simply, the Hylians are dicks.  They don’t want our help.  Garee?  (Sits down)

Garee:             (Standing up to face everyone)  Well, it seems that we won’t be Hyrule very long then.  The Knights didn’t seem to pleased to see us, but admitted that they could use our help.  However, they have no means to pay us now or in the future.  It turns out that they aren’t even paying their own army, if you can call it that.  It’s more like two guys hiding in a burrow.

Old Man:          And you both inquired into the missing parties?

Weno:             (Standing up again)  That is correct.  The Royalty and the Guards had not heard of the group that we sent to the castle yesterday morning.

Garee:             I can not say the same for the Knights.  Our group had met with their leader.  They came to the same conclusion with that group as was made with ours: we would not be assisting them.  The last the Knights saw of them, they were leaving their encampment.

Old Man:          So the Castle group disappeared en route to their destination and the Knights group disappeared on the returning journey.  (Thinking, then continues)  Well, we aren’t wanted here, so we should be leaving as soon as we can, but as was said before, we don’t abandon each other.  I suggest that the rest of us move on, while a search party remains to find the missing groups.  But I am not the leader, only he can decide that.  What say you?

Leader:            Old Man, once again it is proven that though your fighting skills have left you, your wisdom remains.  We shall do what he said.  A search party will remain in Hyrule to find the missing groups.  How many people are missing and how many will remain to find them?

Weno:             There were three people to visit the castle originally.

Garee:             And four left to visit the Knights.  So seven people in all are missing.

 

Narrator:          I knew that if I was to stay in Hyrule and help Zelda, I needed an alibi to leave the group.  There was only one thing to do.

 

Rinku:              (Standing up)  I will search for the missing seven.

 

Narrator:          Jonesi laughed out loud.  He knew that I had an ulterior motive.

 

Jonesi:             (Standing up, with a slight laugh in his voice)  Well, if Rinku is going to be part of this search party, I will have to see to it that he doesn’t hurt himself.  (Crowd laughs).

Piaba:              (Standing up, but seriously)  And I too will go, sir.

Leader:            (Unimpressed)  Three inexperienced young’uns to find seven missing people?  I don’t know which is funnier, what you have just proposed, or that silly woman’s cloak Rinku is wearing.  (Crowd laughs.)

Weno:             (Directed at Rinku)  And I also wonder if their minds will be on the task of searching for our lost comrades, and not on OTHER engagements made while here…

Garee:             If it so concerns you, then I will chaperone the three.  As a senior ranking member of this unit, I will see to it that things go smoothly.

 

Narrator:          A smile went across Weno’s face.  Garee was one who didn’t allow arguments from people once he expected something of them.  With Garee with us, Weno knew that I wouldn’t be able to do whatever it was he thought I wanted to do.  Weno and the leader were satisfied with the outcome of this meeting.  The logistics of rendezvousing with the main group was worked out and the meeting was ended.

                        We then set off to pack our belongings.  The main group would travel west to a land called Calatia while the four of us would begin a search for the missing seven.  As we packed, I approached Piaba and Jonesi to help them deconstruct a tent.

 

(Sounds of moving canvas and posts)

Jonesi:             So, it looks like you get to stay here after all, but not for the reason you wanted to, I’m sure.

Piaba:              Yeah.  And you never did say were you got that purple cape.  That’s not your color, it clashes with your green tunic.

Jonesi:             Isn’t that the color of Royalty?  Purple?

Rinku:              I suppose…

Jonesi:             Piaba, give me a hand here, this post is stuck (a grunt and the post is pulled from out of the earth).  So what is it that you plan to do?

Piaba:              You’ve been pretty silent recently, Rinku, what’s up?

Rinku:              Well, we may not have been hired to fight for anyone, but …  (Pause, wondering if he should tell them.)  I was.

Piaba:              (Sarcastically)  Right.

Jonesi:             And for fighting for her, she gave you her cloak, huh?

Rinku:              Actually, yes.  And this too.  (Pulls out the instrument.)  It is some kind of wind instrument.  It’s important to her.  It will remind me to keep fighting…

Jonesi:             (Seriously)  Woah, isn’t that the kingdom crest on that thing?

Piaba:              Where?

Jonesi:             (Not joking any more.)  Those three triangles.  I saw them everywhere in the castle.  They worship them or something.  Who gave this to you?

Rinku:              . . .

Piaba:              Look, do you want us to help you or not?

Rinku:              What?

Piaba:              If you want to get away from Garee for even a minute, you are going to need our help.  But first tell us what is going on

Rinku:              Well…

 

Narrator:          Piaba gave me this look of dissatisfaction that can only be seen to be understood.

 

Rinku:              (sigh)  Princess Zelda gave it to me.

Jonesi:             (Raises voice in disbelief)  Princess!!

Rinku:              (Annoyed) Shh!  Not so loud.  (Beginning story.)  When I tried to leave the castle I, uh, quite literally ran into her.

Piaba:              You assaulted the Princess?

Jonesi:             And just yesterday you were calling her a dog.

Rinku:              Just listen.  I was told that in order to bring peace to Hyrule, I need to find this jewel that she had stolen.  It’s this thing called the Triforce.  It is in three fragments, each hidden in a different location.  I need to get them before some weird cult does and prove that neither the Knights nor the Royalty took it.

Jonesi:             But the Royalty did take it.  You just said the Princess had it stolen.

Rinku:              Yes, but Zelda said…

Piaba:              (Interrupting, teasing)  Hey, they are on a first-name basis..!

Rinku:              Shut up!  (Regaining train of thought.)  Someone, she doesn’t know who, was going to steal it and use it against the kingdom.  She needed to hide it in a safe place.  Because she can’t trust either side of the war, she needs me to return it now that the time is right to reveal it.

Jonesi:             So where are these pieces hidden?

Rinku:              Each fragment represents a different aspect of the Triforce.  The Courage fragment is in some forest called the Lost Woods.  Lake Hylia hides the Wisdom fragment.  And the final fragment, Power, is hidden inside the northernmost peak, Death Mountain.

                        Once I have collected the three pieces, I will return the completed Triforce to ... the Princess ... and then I will be done.

Jonesi:             That sounds like a little too much for you.  You can’t even beat me in a fight.  It’s a good thing we’re going with you.  I somehow knew that you were in over your head.

Piaba:              Jonesi, why don’t you finally put those poisonous cooking skills of yours to use?  Slip something in Garee’s lunch meal before we leave.  He’ll never know what hit him.

Rinku:              Guys?  (Pause.)  Thanks.

 

Narrator:          I never did like Jonesi’s cooking, and forever after that day I have been afraid to touch it with the business end of my sword.  But whatever it was that he did, Jonesi had fixed some concoction that gave Garee the most explosive case of diarrhea the instant the main group left us behind.

                        Oh...  Garee tried to be