The Kokiri Do Not Own Their Houses!

by MaxiBoom


It's true! Here's why:

The houses the Kokiri live in are trees, which are part of the forest. And we all know that the Deku Tree owns the forest. So therefore, the Kokiri don't actually own their houses, they simply rent them from the Deku Tree. But this wouldn't bother them to much, as the expense is covered by the rupees they literally just find lying around. Although, payment isn't really required, as the Deku Tree was a very relaxed landlord who had no practical use for money anyway.

This all changed, however, when the Deku Tree died. Now, obviously, the estate would pass on to his next of kin. But since the Deku Sprout was detained by an evil magic, the next in line were the next closest relatives to the Deku Tree. These were, of course, the plant monsters. Now, being evil as they are, the plant monsters immediately raised the rent to an exorbanent price, and demanded immediate payment, along with any debts the Kokiri still had. They refused, and who wouldn't, it would take them days to gather the payment from the nearby grass, and only so many people could jump that bridge at a time. So, as a creative punishment, the monsters trapped the Kokiri in their houses, never allowing them to leave.

However, there was an alternate motive behind this. By watching a few desperate Kokiri, they monsters learned about the wealth of rupees in the village, and set about taking advantage of it. With this new, untapped wealth, the monsters were able to buy the strongest guards, the moblins, to protect their most valuable property, the Forest Temple. However, they refused to spring for the armor tax, which left their moblin guards rather unprotected to the rear. As for the Forest Temple itself, this was rented to Ganondorf, the biggest property owner in all of Hyrule. This only served to further motivate their greed.

This was all changed, however, when Link returned to the forest. The monsters, immediately aware of the immense amount of money they could make on his debts alone, not to mention the graffiti tax for the carving on his house, decided to strike the first chance they got. However, they were unable to get anywhere near his wallet, as he was armed to the teeth with plant trimming equipment. He immediately broke into the Forest Temple, slaying their expensive guards and ignoring their threat to sue, and destroyed the ghostly caretakers Ganondorf had left behind to keep the place murky.

The plant monsters were infuriated, but when this act released the Forest Sage and the Deku Sprout, both far more entitled to the estate then them, the monsters were forced to flee into the darkest recesses of the forest. They two new property owners obliterated the Kokiri's debts and allowed them to wander the forest again. They also resurrected and reinstated the Moblins contracts, only this time to keep out Ganondorf's men. However, the Moblins not being the brightest of guards, still attacked anyone who entered the area. And for whatever reason, the Deku Sprout and Forest Sage also refused to pay the armor tax.

This present arrangement still exists to this very day, and due to a clause in the deed contract, also transcends any mystical time warps, forward or backward.

 

I would like to thank Astra for inspiring this idea.

Completely,

MaxiBoom





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