The last we left our heroes, they were plummeting towards a speeding train, unknown to them that their brakes had been cut by the evil Boris Badino...whoops, wrong story. Ahem. The last we last Hyrule Link had married Princess Ruto (after seven or so years) and the castle had a visiting ship calling for help. Who are these mysterious strangers, and what do they want? Let's find out.
LAST NIGHT AT THE SEAPORT
"Move let's get those water pumps and meditions on the boats now!!!" Zucatt was barking orders at everyone and all were rushing about to help the burning ship. Already crew members and passengers were diving into the water, some aflame. Zucatt and Link had already climbed in a boat and started to row into the water to rescue the passenger and crewmen. Zucatt pulled one man out of the water, noticing he had on royal clothes, even though they were half burnt and tattered. The man started to cough and Zucatt lifted him up so he could talk. "Mu...must...find...Princess...Zelda...uh." The man fainted from burns and shock. Zucatt looked to Link who had also heard what the man said. "Oh boy." they said in unison.
ALMOST THE NEXT DAY IN THE CASTLE
"Uuuunnnhh." The man rose, holding his head in his hand. A young woman quickly rushed to his side. "Lie still," she spoke softly to him "You've had a rough trip." The man could tell. His head was pounding, and his body was sore all over from burns and broken bones. "You're lucky to be alive." "Yeah." the man stated. He looked up at the beautiful girl that was wiping his forehead with a cold cloth. "And what name would such a beautiful rose go by?" Zelda smiled at his flattering attempts. "...Zelda." "Ahh, so you are the famous Princess Zelda. I have been looking for you." Zelda stood up and went over to the little table, next to the bed to wring out the cloth. "Actually it's Queen Zelda now." The man now realized that her mother and father must have past away. "Oh, I'm sorry." "That's alright." Zelda said sweetly, wiping the foreign man's head. "Truly your fame does not do your true beauty justice. Tell me, does such a sweet rose have, but a strong stem to support her?" Hmm, poetry, since when haven't suitors tried that one, Zelda thought to herself. "Truth be told, I have recently grown a strong root to hold me strong and protect me from thorns." The man slumped back down in disappointment. "Oh." he mumbled to himself. "In fact, my husband was the one that pulled you from the waters." "Really? I would like to meet such a man." "...and so you shall!" Zucatt strode into the room. Zelda curtsied saying, "Good evening your ." Zucatt smiled, very well knowing she didn't have to do that. Zelda smiled too. She ran up to Zucatt and gave him a quick peck on the lips. Zucatt walked over to the bed and took a seat on a small stool. "So, who is our foreign friend?" The man rose to show his royal stature. "Prince Robert of Carinsia." "Ah, well," Zucatt said rising from the stool. "formal introductions can be made to morrow at the court meeting. Until then, good evening Prince Robert." Zucatt took Zelda hand and they shut the door behind them.
THE NEXT MORNING
A nursemaid entered the room and flung open the drapes. "Uhn." Robert woke to bright light. Too bright light. "Rise and shine sir." "Please nurse, I was just in a shipwreck last night." "Oh quit your whining." She walked over to the prince. "Here drink this." She withdrew a bottle filled with a red substance. Almost instantly, Robert felt better. "Amazing." The nursemaid left out some clothes for Robert then proceeded to leave. "You start to get dressed and someone will have your breakfast in, in a minute." Robert sighed with some displeasure. And I was just getting used to sitting in bed.
Zelda was in her room brushing her long, elegant hair.(Yawn) Zelda's nursemaid entered the room and started to fold sheets and all that maid stuff, yada yada yada. "Good morning Zelda." "Good morning Maria." Maria stopped her business and walked over to where Zelda was sitting. "Here, let me do that for you." Maria began to brush Zelda's hair. "So how is our guest doing?" "Oh, very well." "That's good." "There. Now get out of that night gown so I can put this on." Zelda stood up and turned around. "A girdle!?!" "Yes, now turn around." Zelda slipped out of her night gown and raised her arms. She sighed. She hated wearing this thing. It was so tight and constricting. "I doubt Zucatt even notices I'm wearing it." "Oh, I think he does." Maria said with a snort. "Maria." "Hm hm." Maria chuckled.
She walked over to Zelda's large wardrobe closet. "Now, which one would you like to wear today?" Zelda scanned them slowly, one by one. What would Zucatt like her to wear? "Um, that one." she said pointing to one that was pink; with white sleeves, collar and skirt and a dark crimson vest. Maria took it off the rack and walked over to Zelda. She helped Zelda slip it over her head and shimmy into it. While Zelda started to braid her hair up, Maria walked over to Zelda's bed and picked something up. "How about this also?" Zelda finished braiding her hair and turned around. "A bustle!?! Forget it!!!" "Oh, come on, it would look cute." Zelda turned back around to Maria. "Maria, there's nothing cute about having a huge @$$." "Well, if you're going to be that way about it." Maria pushed Zelda up against the mirror, lifted up Zelda's skirt and shoved the bustle underneath. Zelda quickly spun around and Maria ducked just in time to dodge a hard jab. Maria grabbed a small pillow from the bed. "And just for that." She shoved the pillow underneath the bustle, making it look twice as big. Then she tied the bustle down tight and turned to look at Zelda. "See, you look wonderful." Zelda turned to her side in front of the mirror and looked down. "Yeah right."
Link knocked on the door. "Are you ready Zelda?" Zelda walked to the door. "Yeah, I'm ready." As she walked past Link, her butt hit him in the stomach. Link had to stop himself from chuckling. Zelda turned around and glared hard at Link. As she walked away, her back side swayed, left to right. Link was almost rolling on the floor.
Zelda finally reached the main hall and sat down next to Zucatt. She was at least three inches higher than him. Zelda started tapping her fingers loudly on the arm of her throne. This was a sign to all that if anyone mentioned the obvious, they would have a slow, painful death. "Now introducing, Prince Robert of Cairns." Robert entered the room and kneeled before Zelda and Zucatt. He was about to open his mouth to say something, but Zucatt gave him the sign not to say a word. Zelda was the first to talk. "Welcome Prince Robert, to our court and our kingdom." "Tell us Robert, what brings you to my domain?" asked Zucatt. "I have come seeking a wife." "Well I'm afraid that the most beautiful woman in all of Hyrule has already been taken." Zucatt said, placing his hand over Zelda's. "Then I plan to journey to the four corners of Hyrule, to find the best bride." "Then good luck to you sir." Zucatt said rising.
TWO DAYS LATER
Robert and his friends had ventured all over Hyrule, looking for suitable wives. But each time Robert would turn them down. The Kokiri were too young. The Zora were too alien. The Gerudo were too exotic. And Robert had turned down all, but a few Hylians. One day the troupe was at Lon Lon Ranch enjoying a cold ale. Robert noticed a young girl out feeding the chickens. "Zucatt, who is that ravishing young woman there?" Zucatt looked up from his mug. "Hm? Oh, that's Malon. She's the daughter of Talon, the owner of the ranch." "She's beautiful." "Phhhhhhtttt" Zucatt spit out all his ale in surprise. "What!?!" "Gorgeous." "You mean to tell me after all the girls you've seen ypu want to pick her?" Zucatt saw Zelda giving him a scolding look. "I mean, Malon is a nice girl and all it's just a little surprising, that's all." Robert stood up and ran over to her. He fell down on one knee, holding her hand. "Oh fairest maiden, would thou grant me thine beautiful hand in matrimony?" "What???" "Please.I have searched the land in search of one as beautiful such as you."
Well, they got hitched. And this confused everybody. Malon wanted to stay behind and help her father run the ranch, so Robert stayed behind to help at the ranch. This confused everybody weven more. And Robert wasn't much good at farmwork, but he tried.
TWO NIGHTS LATER
Zucatt and Zelda were out watching the stars. "I just can't believe it." Zucatt said. "Me either." Zelda agreed. "But aren't the heavens beautiful tonight." "No." "What?" "The heavens are nothing. You are beautiful tonight." Zelda looked at Zucatt with a questioning look. 'What is it with you and flattering me?" "I guess it's just a habit of mine." Zelda leaned close and held Zucatt's head in her hands. She kissed him long and stroked his lips. "You know, I'm the king of the sages." "Yeah?" "And that's means I control all the sages." "Yeah." "Well your a sage, aren't you?" Zelda giggled. She leapt in Zucatt's arms and he started to carry them into the hall. They stopped outsied their room. Zelda started to kiss Zucatt. "I love you." she said. "I love you to Zelda." Then Zucatt shut the door behind them. And locked it.
Back to Story Menu